Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

Your addicted loved one needs treatment. Motivation may not be great. You may have heard that the the family is powerless over the situation. Or you may be looking for a magic, instantaneous solution and fear that things are so dire that you don't have time to try anything "soft" or "gradual." Laurie and Annie, who have both successfully shepherded their loved ones into treatment, share how-to's f...

In this week's episode Laurie and Annie talk about those we know who seem content in misery, hanging pictures and inviting company down into their pit with them. Outside of being in the midst of trauma or grief, there are times we can decide not to see things negatively. Why do we return to situations we do nothing but complain about? This week's short podcast ends with a list from Psychology Toda...

In this week's episode, Laurie and Annie discuss the differences between dealing with a relative or partner struggling with SUD, versus a son or daughter. They explore why we are so easily hurt and inflamed in the midst of it all. Why do others just not get it? And why are some people mean, particularly to someone who is down? Are they the enemy? Tune in to this week's informative, relatable conve...

In this week's episode, Laurie and Annie discuss patterns of conflict that repeat within our lives, sometimes without our realizing it. With recovery and peace as the goal, your hosts discuss strategies for not engaging in chaos and negativity. A membership at Allies in Recovery brings you into contact with experts in the fields of recovery and treatment for drug and alcohol issues. Our learning p...

What is accountability and why is it important for families facing SUD? In this episode, Laurie goes over the meaning of accountability and how a movement of consequences for our kids began some years ago that included a level of shame and punishment that does not work. Your hosts discuss experiences with accountability including apologizing to their sons for handling them with fear and shaming ta...

In today's Coming Up for Air episode, Annie and Laurie discuss the effects of broken trust. They look at the big picture of addiction entering the home of a family who did "all the right things," to family and friends damaging our trust, and how Substance Use Disorder (SUD) and deception often go hand in hand. They ponder who to trust, what to trust, how to trust again and how to look at the enorm...

Regardless the holidays or traditions you observe, this time of year can be trying, triggering and even traumatic. In this special holiday podcast, Laurie MacDougall and Annie Highwater take apart the often looming, overwhelming effect of "the Holidays" - from how our own expectations affect reality, what role nostalgia plays, how honest we are about those in our entourage who are strugg...

Anger is a natural part of the human experience. It is seen as a healthy response when a person has been victimized, for instance. Wrath, on the other hand, can be seen as the destructive state of being when a person takes anger too far, and is characterized by the desire for vengeance, the need to punish, and losing one's natural ability to tell right from wrong. In this episode, Annie and Laurie...

This episode focuses on lying. It is well known that SUD often ushers in lies and more lies. Annie Highwater and Laurie MacDougall explore the phenomenon of lying, digging back into their own childhoods and trying to identify the roots of lying in adulthood. They look at how we, as the entourage of someone with SUD, can approach the fact of being lied to. We may not be able to prevent someone from...

In this episode, Annie and Laurie offer eye-opening tips for families who are affected by addiction—whether in the discovery phase, your loved one's already in treatment, or in recovery. Heads-Up tips include what to look for if you suspect your Loved One is struggling with a substance, to what to expect from those first calls home when they're in a treatment facility. Laurie and Annie discuss thi...

IIn today's episode, Annie and Laurie speak with Chief Deputy Sheriff Rick Minerd, from the Columbus, Ohio area. Officer Minerd details what he sees in the field, related to addiction, crime and even issues with cartel. Without a personal recovery story of his own, he nevertheless shares a hopeful view that was spawned from listening to families who have been through the horror of addiction with a...

What exactly IS victim mentality? Do you have it, do I? What is the definition of a victim? On this week's Coming Up for Air podcast, Laurie and Annie compare experiences of family and friendship that involved injury, disappointment and opportunities to stay down on the low road and wallow. Those along with experiences with a Loved One's struggle with SUD that are not personal, planned out attacks...

Laurie and Annie welcome Richard Jones: counselor, therapist, coach and founder of Recovery Cartel to Coming up for Air. Richard is in long term recovery himself and has an experienced, compassionate and innovative approach to helping guide families who are affected by an addicted Loved One. He throws terms like "tough love" and "enabling" out the window and sets family members...

Has anyone ever said to you, “There is nothing you can do or say that will change things"? Did it make you feel hopeless? powerless? We may be powerless over the disease but we can influence our Loved Ones. This has been studied and proven with CRAFT. Have you ever noticed it's often the same people who warn against enabling and yet try to convince you you're powerless? Isn't this a bit contradict...

Today Pam Rickard is absolutely passionate about what she does - helping people with addiction and mental health for the Herren Project. She gives thanks for the judge who sentenced her to several months in jail for too many DUI's - this ended up being the beginning of her recovery. Rickard speaks about her life as a high-functioning alcholic who ran 7 marathons while still in active addiction. Th...

In this week's episode Annie and Laurie discuss what it means to be authentic, yet "fake it" until the feelings come organically -- regarding getting better, feeling positive, being friendly and making wise choices in difficult situations when everything in us wants to do something different (act out). Annie poses the question "Is it fake to have manners around someone who has treated you terribly...

Annie and Laurie deep dive into issues and dynamics of being a "codependent" parent, discussing how this happens in early years of parenting when we feel responsible for our child's behavior, grades etc.  ...and how that builds toward issues that arise when addiction or SUD enter a family. Both share instances of being in denial when signs were there, versus going on instinct and sea...

Mike Duggan from the State Without Stigma campaign and Wicked Sober, tells his personal story of addiction and speaks about his work and his passion. Mike is in long-term recovery himself and opens up about his own story. He expresses great hope for recovery and treatment for those who are ready to check out of the miserable life of addiction and into treatment. Tune in to this week's episode for...

In this week's episode, Annie and Laurie recall times they have experienced "hit-the-ceiling" stress and crisis resulting from issues that surge out of a family member's addiction. Some of these crises were even life and death situations. Both reveal how they pulled themselves down in the moment, who helped, what helped, and what didn't help - including the "10 types of distorted thinking" that ca...

In this week's show, Laurie and Annie respond to a Listener's message about life after SUD. When your Loved One goes off to treatment and recovery, life changes for everyone. The dynamics of an empty nest and absence of activity can have unexpected effects. Allowing ourselves time to process the changes and pursue new interests takes time, practice and sometimes therapy! For the full member packag...

We all need tools for repairing, tweaking or rebuilding. In this episode Laurie and Annie discuss power tools for trying times, tools for moments of crisis and chaos and tools for triumphant, peaceful lives. Having a toolbox is important for "calming down our crazy" and finding gratitude in the good that comes from lives changed by the turmoil of SUD and difficult times in general. Allies in Recov...

In this episode of Coming Up for Air, Annie and Laurie cover the topic of grief and disappointment and elaborate on finding a new normal. Laurie covers the 5 stages of grief and introduces the concept of grieving someone still living. Both moms give examples of how they are making peace with how life was, versus what it has become after loss, change and having a Loved One struggles with SUD. Allie...

We've all heard of enabling use, but what about enabling non-use? In this week's podcast, Laurie and Annie discuss the positive power we have to influence our loved ones suffering from SUD, by enabling moments of non-use. Annie introduces 6 real life scenarios submitted from family members with examples of current family crisis or issues. Laurie gives the suggested CRAFT response to each. Modifyin...

This week on Coming Up for Air, Laurie and Annie welcome Lee Weber of the Addiction Blog. With a readership of 2.5 million per month, contributors from all over the world with expert knowledge of addiction, alcoholism, SUD and recovery (including our own Dominique Simon-Levine, Founder of Allies in Recovery), Lee's work is affecting the lives of many. She brilliantly delivers her personal story, a...

This week's episode of Coming up for Air may have had some technical difficulty, but Laurie and Annie powered through it to welcome their guest The Alicia Cook! Alicia Cook is an established writer and award-winning activist from New Jersey. Her work has appeared on the Huffington Post, CNN, USA Today, Teen Vogue, and many more. She gained international attention with the publication of her essay...