Columbus Is Real

It’s hot out.  People are coming out of their homes for the first time in over a year.  What better time to strip down and break some laws?  In the first of several episodes, Tom and Mike accidentally focus on Florida to kick off The Naked Summer.

With a title that good, why bother with a witty description.

The plan was innocent enough, how about a month where all the articles are about terrible parents?  It didn’t go well.  At all.

We unpack a lot this month: discuss comic book TV/movies, confirm Gen X is just can be just as terrible as everyone else, extol the virtues of cheap beer, and reminisce about our younger days.  Oh, and a guy got arrested for indecent exposure while trying to play the solo version of hide the pickle.

As the pandemic restrictions ease, Americans are coming out of hibernation to do what they do best..act like complete assholes!  Featuring:  bringing a gun to a mask fight at Roscoe’s, getting shot while trying to be YouTube famous, living your best life…twice…with two different women, and creative eviction styles involving zip ties and a (presumably scary) cemetery.  Mike and Tom also somehow fin...

We’re back, Bums!  Welcome to season 2!  Our 14th episode features poor responses to being denied sex, stupid people arrested on drug charges, an arranged marriage gone awry with a happy ending (not that kind), and yes, the love child of the sun and moon steals a police car with a police dog in it. 

It’s the end of season 1! Tom and Mike invite their dear friends Rick, Dan, and Fran in for jocularity, mayhem, and an honest and frank discussion about the state of education in America today.  Yeah, we didn’t see that coming either.  But hey, there’s still drinking and swearing, and Tom even invented a new word: turduckenesque.  

Recorded on Buyer’s Remorse Saturday, Tom and Mike drink while capturing the true spirit of Thanksgiving by discussing mongoose poop coffee, violent Boston turkey attacks, adorable gay Dutch penguin crimes, and some drunk dude throwing mailboxes and claiming to be the Son of God.

It had to happen eventually, but as season one winds down, Tom and Mike get in a discussion about the US response to COVID. Leading up to a rare serious moment are exploding port-a-potties, a quadriplegic DUI, stealing a car from front line workers, and lunchbox shaming.  You know, important topics.

It’s Tom and Mike’s first Halloween Special!  Enjoy a discussion about this year’s “sexy” costume assortment is a terrible display of how far we’ve declined as a society, and then listen to some heartfelt stories of how adults are just the absolute worst, but also in costumes, because of Halloween.  At least one story will ruin your childhood.

Tom and Mike welcome Rachel Cronin into the studio and we catch up with what she’s been up to, chat about the teacher life in the New Normal, and then mock some drug addled felons.  Oh, there may be talk of brewing beer with animal and human feces, but hey, we’re not here to judge.

Tom and Mike examine a survey determining the most overrated TV show by state.  “Examine” isn’t quite right…they talk about how stupid some of the choices are.  So come on in and enjoy listening to them insult other people’s opinions (and yours as well, probably) and learn what they think are the most over and underrated shows.

Put your feet up, grab your favorite cocktail (or a few…this is Episodus Maxiumus) and enjoy stories from Dan Rockwell as we divulge into various and sundry topics.  Oh, and there’s drunken pandemic parties that lead to house fires, influencer vs. bear, calling 911 for a flaming vagina, and Tom berating millennials.  This episode gets derailed so many times it might as well be a boat.  

Peggy McCort is here this episode!  Woo!  Adding a splash of #PositivePeg to the #NegativeNancys that reside here.  Then there’s a commercial (#boooring) then we talk about multiple #naked men doing weird things, a drunk monkey on a #rampage, and using #cheese as an alternative cleaning product in these strange #COVID days.

Tom and Mike invite Rick to hang out, talk about 3 decades in the education system, and discuss relaxed vaccination schedules, licking toilet seats, leaving your loaded gun in a middle school bathroom, and topless rampages in Denny’s.  You know, important stuff.

In this episode, Tom and Mike discuss calling 911 to help find your hoodie…a lot, doing Tik Tok challenges for fun and profit, having relationships with inanimate objects, and a naked dude breaking into a funeral home.

Un-denuding corn cobs for fun and profit, Canada’s stupidest teen, do possum go to heaven, toking at grandma’s, bobblehead handies, and THEN the alcohol kicks in.

Tom and Mike discuss face tats, self-pleasure in the library, gravity vs. inmate, and uncomfortable living arrangements.

Tom and Mike spend some time explaining the concept of the show and the history of the name, then spiral out of control and land on a bird poop mountain.