Cold Cans

Drink Schlitz or I'll kill you.

Beers and bullshitting--it's the natural pair. The boys get back to their rambling roots with a crisp, sessionable lager that doesn't skimp on the ABV. So get a beer, grab a chair, and tune in before the sea levels rise and kill us all.

The boys drink Hoegaarden and look into its wild backstory that involves Dutch monks and dates back to 1445. A ghost makes an appearance.

The boys discover that it gets better, thanks to a warming bottle of Heineken. Joey defends Uncrustables. PLUS: A bombshell involving Beer Advocate.

Who says you can't drink cold cans in cold weather? The boys are joined by special guest Spencer Morris, who brings along his favorite winter-time beer--and it's a thick one. Grocery store lines are debated at length.

The boys finally drink the blue ribbon winner. A popular segment is renamed, and the question on everyone's minds is revealed: who is Brian's real father?

The hoppiest IPA in Cold Cans history is reviewed. The hustle of life is examined. The boys get into a fight.

It's the big 2-1, folks! The boys celebrate Cold Cans' 21st birthday by drinking Blue Moon, rattling off stories about the drunken times of yore, and complimenting an innovative man named Keith. PLUS, listeners share their 21st birthday stories.

With special guest Brooks Erickson (@brooksmatic) in studio, the boys go south of the border to sample two 40s of Tecate while talking cranberries, conspiracies, and communism. A new segment debuts.

It's #spottedcowweek and the boys are joined by special guest and Spotted Cow superfan Devon Glocke to break down the best beer in Wisconsin. Devon roasts the DMV, Nick fires off a scorching-hot take, and Joey discusses the amenities of the sea.

The boys are sick of The Man keeping them down, calories adding up, and beer tasting good. On their quest to turn into efficient American machines, they look to Michelob Ultra.

It's Blatz week! The boys get nostalgic over the liquid gold and enlist the help of lead researcher Casey Reierson, who attends Blatzfest.

They're here. They're drinking near-beer. Get used to it. The boys needed a cleanse so they went without alcohol for a week. They discuss the relationship between drinking habits and getting older, while sipping a fine O'Doul's.

With the help of the Princess Queen of Pineapples, herself, the boys analyze this fruit-forward, refreshing ale. Special guest Brittaney Bunjong talks about her favorite beers and gives advice on pairing beer with food.

The studio is flooded (investigation ongoing), so the boys are drinking beers in a conference room. What better setting for a beer considered one of the best in the world?

Let freedom ring, folks. The boys celebrate the 4th of July weekend the only way they know how--drinking too many Cold Cans. Nick, a masochist and idiot, also drinks another Smirnoff Ice.

The guys actually talk about beer for some of the show as they discuss brewery tours and the beauty of brew pubs. Nick talks about the time he witnessed a bar fight in Bend, Oregon.

"To be happy, consume our product." Do we need to fit into societal pressures, beauty standards, and skinny jeans? The guys investigate while staying hydrated with a Miller 64.

Say it with us now: Schöfferhofer Hefeweizen Grapefruit Bier! Great, now you owe the trademark holder five cents...The boys discuss copyright and intellectual property while sipping on that smooth, summertime beverage.

Local beers. They're everywhere these days, and that's a very good thing. The guys review a local Seattle IPA and discuss what it means to embrace your locality in a global society.

"33" What does it mean? The guys discuss the shocking results of their investigations into the meaning behind the mysterious "33" printed on every bottle and can of Rolling Rock. They also drink a Rolling Rock.

Getting iced is not so nice. The boys gut through that syrupy, viral sensation--Smirnoff Ice.

"Everybody's an expert." The boys, who are expert beer reviewers, take on the concept of ranking subjective experiences, like tasting beer, while they taste a beer (finally, a decent one).

Liquid Aloha. The guys are drinking Longboard Lager to see if a sip of paradise is enough to cure those wintertime blues.

Beers, Not Bears. Joey and Nick get knocked down, get back up again, then rate and review the PNW classic, Rainier.