Clarity on Fire

Do you remember that scene in E.T. when he (E.T., that is) shuffles out of a closet wearing a dress, high heels, a blonde wig, and a little bowler hat? Do you remember that scene in E.T. when he (E.T., that is) shuffles out of a closet wearing a dress, high heels, a blonde wig, and a little bowler hat?  Yeah, I didn't really remember it either, until Rachel brought it up on this week's podcast.  S...

Most of you know by now that my six-year-old black lab, Scarlett, is having a boring summer. She tore a muscle in her back leg a few months ago, and since then she's been going to physical therapy and slowly getting back to normal. But it's going to be a while until she's cleared to run and swim and jump—all the things she'd rather be doing, basically. For now, all she's allowed to do is walk. Thi...

If you've been feeling trapped, stuck, and directionless in your life and career, it can feel like you're living life in beige, when all you really want is to be living in vibrant color. Nate Otto has been fighting the beige for years. In this month's interview with a normal person, Kristen chats with Nate about how he finally broke through a colorless existence and started to find his place in th...

As some of you may know, my grandpa passed away a few weeks ago. Sitting in his memorial service, surrounded by the people he loved the most, hearing the minister and family members reminisce about my grandpa and his life, I had an intense moment of clarity. All the memories that were shared about my grandpa that day centered around who he was as a person. There were stories about his extreme gene...

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode we're answering questions from: Sharon, who realized that she feels threatened by opinionated women because she's insecure about her own self-expre...

Something's been coming up lately that's clearly resonating with a LOT of people. It boiled over during a workshop Kristen and I were doing a while back. During a Q&A someone asked a question that, all of a sudden, prompted other people to chime in with variations of, "OMG, it's not just me?!" The issue? It went something like, "How do you 'break up' with toxic people?" The person who shared her s...

Where are all of our bookworms/nerds/fellow Ravenclaws at?? We figure you guys are probably just as obsessed with reading as we are, which is why we've got a special BONUS podcast episode for you this week—a book-club-style conversation about one of our very favorite non-fiction books, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert! If we were to create a Life Syllabus, this book would be on the reading list FOR...

I should probably out myself, first and foremost, as a huge school nerd. When other kids used to dread the first day of school after a long summer break, I was secretly excited. In elementary school, I used to assign myself summer "homework assignments" — books to read, short stories to write, that kind of thing. (Yep, total nerd here.) I was so disappointed when college was over that within a cou...

It doesn't matter your age, gender, race, or body type – 99.9% of us know what it's like to feel ashamed of how we look or uncomfortable in our body, in one way or another. A lot of us fall into a trap of believing that when our outer appearance is EXACTLY how we've envisioned, THEN we'll finally get to be happy, successful, rich, and snag a hot significant other to boot. (Logically, we know this...

I'm 22 and sitting in one of many orientation sessions for my first full-time job out of college. The training instructor, a really nice guy who I'll refer to as Marty, was having us watch a video about coming to work with a positive, can-do attitude. The video was about people who tossed fish for a living. And weirdly, it wasn't the first time I'd seen it. I remember watching it in my high school...

Can we all be super honest with ourselves about what we secretly wish would happen? Namely, that the heavens would part and the answers to all of life's biggest questions (particularly, "What am I supposed to be doing?" and "Where do I go from here?" and "What's my passion?") would fall into your outstretched hands. Don't feel bad. We STILL wish that was the way life worked. On this episode of the...

Most kids view themselves as invincible. It's why they climb trees that are a bit too tall, or ride bikes way too fast, or otherwise put themselves in overly risky situations. Not me. I was an extremely cautious child. I much preferred the safety of my own imagination over the wild, unpredictable real world. I would cringe when the neighborhood skateboarder tried tricks on his new ramp, or when my...

I'm getting kind of meta with this blog today because, at the time I'm writing this, I DO NOT feel like doing it. (Sorry to anyone who thought that every time I sit down to write I'm inspired and brimming with wisdom! This is real life, and I'm in a funk today.) Blame it on lack of sleep and that time of the month, but I'm feeling grumpy and dull and lethargic. I wish I could wait to revisit this...

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode we're answering questions from: Kali, who can't seem to stay focused and dedicated to her job, and wants to know how to find motivation when it see...

As far as career coaches go, I'm pretty unconventional. As in, I don't care much about the things that "career experts" usually tend to obsess about. I'm not interested in helping you write the perfect résumé or the most professional-sounding cover letter. (I'd much prefer that you reveal your humanity and personality throughout all phases of the application process, rather than sound like a highl...

The first step of recovery is admitting you have a problem. And to be frank – We've got a problem. And we're pretty sure you do, too. Did you know that one of the metrics that measures phone addiction is if you can go 5 or more hours without touching it? Can you even REMEMBER the last time you did that!? 'Cuz we can't. GULP. Did you know that the average person thinks they're LESS addicted than ev...

I used to be a big fan of soap operas growing up. No kidding, when I was 4 years old, I knew all of the characters and plot lines of Days of Our Lives . To this day, even though I haven't watched it in years, I could still tell you all about Hope and Bo and John and Marlena and the villainous Stefano. I loved how ridiculous they were … people "died" on a regular basis, and just as quickly came bac...

As Samuel L. Jackson said in Jurassic Park : "Hold on to your butts."   He was talking about dinosaurs, but honestly, we're talking about something that a lot of people find equally as terrifying: How to let go of your compulsion to please everyone around you. In preparation for this episode we both read The Disease to Please by Harriet Braiker, PhD., and OH MAN, there is a lot to get into.  If yo...

If there's one line I've heard from just about every client I've coached over the years, it's this: "I really just want to help people." Look, I get it. It's human nature (well, the good side of human nature, at least!) to want to help and support and lift up other people. Life would be pretty unfulfilling if you never felt like you were making a positive difference for other people. Plus, it just...

Ever felt like you're a ghost wandering the halls of your workplace? Sure, you're physically there, but the REAL YOU is nowhere to be found. You're mentally checked out, emotionally drained, and showing up as a watered-down, hollow version of yourself. In this month's interview with a normal person, Kristen is chatting with Lana Jackson, who was all too familiar with that feeling. After years of f...

OK, so you know that part in Back to the Future when Marty McFly gets on stage during the Enchantment Under the Sea dance? He straps on a guitar and starts playing so that his teenaged parents will dance, kiss, fall in love, and ensure that he eventually gets born. Well, one of my favorite moments of that scene is when he loses himself for a few minutes in a crazy electric guitar riff of Chuck Ber...

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode we're answering questions from:  Ashley, who's realized that her childhood "dream" career isn't for her, and wants to know if doing something unpai...

I was taking a walk the other day, mentally replaying a couple of coaching calls I'd had that morning and thinking through everything I had to do the rest of the day. I turned the corner, and suddenly right in front of me was the most beautiful cherry blossom tree in perfect bloom. It was stunning. I reflexively stopped to admire it, and my mind went completely blank for a moment. It was just me a...

People, let's get real. We are BACKED UP, emotionally speaking. We live in a culture that, by and large, is not super comfortable with feelings and self-expression. A lot of us have gotten REALLY good at numbing out, suppressing, and generally doing whatever we can to avoid having to feel anything difficult or uncomfortable. Except you can't bottle it up forever. Eventually, something's gotta give...

Sometimes I feel like I've lived most of my life with only one foot in this realm. The other foot has been exploring Hogwarts, or on a stroll with Lizzie at Longbourn, or running away from white walkers (and TOWARD Jon Snow, if you know what I mean). I've spent nearly three decades being mildly annoyed that real life gets in the way of fantasy. To me, fiction and art and music often feel more REAL...