Chatabix

David & Joe chat about supporting their football teams and how long it takes to get to the ground. They talk about staying on a Pirate Ship, farting in yurts and the joys of family holidays and David reads out some riddles for Joe to guess. They both rate this ep against the rest of the terrible eps they have done but think it's ok because they are owning it. They puzzle over why the pod has g...

David goes to Berry Pomeroy Castle allegedly the most haunted castle in England. It's getting dark and the castle is closed so he scales the locked gate and calls Joe. It get's darker. He get's more spooked. He hears noises and wonders if he will see the ghost of the Blue Lady. As he approaches the castle he starts to think someone is watching him. He decides it's not worth it just to get the pod...

David & Joe sing the Bolero theme tune while they wait for Olympic ice skater Jayne Torvill. When she arrives they both blush. They have a good chat about Heathfield and ask Jayne if she's ever bumped into David's mum. They talk about the highs and lows of competing for olympic medals. Jayne tells them she fell in love with ice skating at a young age persuading her mum to buy her some white bo...

It's the morning of David's trip to Berry Pomeroy Castle to go ghost hunting on his own in the dark. He tells Joe the story of the castle which is allegedly one of the most haunted sites in the British Isles. David is pretending not to be scared. Joe is worried that David won't be able to get in if it's locked up at night. They worry there isn't much tension in the ep but then David gets a call fr...

Ex 'Deal Or No Deal'contestant Paul Gorton is back on the pod but this time telling David and Joe about how he hurt his lung playing football. This ends up in a long winded story with Paul revealing all about his footballing career and his famous friends. When he finally get's round to the story of the collapsed lung it's actually pretty scary. David feels a bit queasy. Joe's been watching a game...

Historian Andrew Chatterton reveals the long-hidden secrets of an undercover resistance network set up during WW2 in case of German invasion. He tells David & Joe about networks of civilians who appeared to be leading normal lives but were undertaking training in sabotage and guerilla warfare (and not telling their families what they were up to). David & Joe are hanging off his every word....

David & Joe have an idea for a property podcast. They talk about the format and how it might work but then realise they'd have to do it properly and speak faster with more energy like Phil Spencer. David get's sidetracked by his phone notifications pinging. They argue about how to end the episode. To test the format David finds Joe three random properties in Jarrow to choose from and realise t...

Our TV reviewer Joe is back. He's also a guitarist at ABBA Voyage and tells Joe & David that he has now done over 350 shows. TV Joe bursts David & Joe's "thats what she says" bubble telling them the phrase has in fact been used a lot in the American Office. After they get over the annoyance of this, they talk about TV game shows and join in a rowdy game of Name That Tune. They tell TV Joe...

World champion cyclist Sir Chris Hoy is today's guest. He confesses to being a fan of the pod and loves listening to David's cackles. He tells them some brilliant stories about what it's like track centre during the big competitions. Joe get's confused between a backdraft or a slipstream so Chris explains how the slipstream works. David asks Chris if he's ever peed himself during a race. They talk...

In this special ep David and Joe are joined by George Kane the Director on Apocalypse Clown (the film David was in). George explains it's a bonkers dystopian comedy set in Ireland with 4 anarchic clowns on a road trip. David Earl plays Bobo, one of the clowns. George says how brilliant David was in the film and they discuss what it's like telling actors what to do. It's not long till the chat turn...

Joe's off on another adventure and zooms David to show him where he is. He's at an allotment but who's allotment is it ? David googles the shit out of it and is over the moon when he finds out the story behind it all. Joe's friend (a comedian also called Joe) gives them both a guided tour and they try to recreate some scenes. They move on to another location and beard Joe can't contain his excitem...

After several minutes of tech issues at Martin's end Joe and David get to guff about how brilliant they think he is. They try and glean from him how to also be brilliant. David tells Martin about his first acting job on Inspector Linley and forgetting to learn his lines. Martin is a bit perplexed about David's obsession with behind the scenes on a tv show, he tells them about filming the Office an...

David & Joe analyse how other hosts start their pods and then try to talk as quickly as possible, obsessing over the charts once again. They do a bit about if they were a football team who they would be, who the big hitter pods would be and where they all would be in the league. Listening to Joe's '3 Dayz A Week' song' David reads out some comments from Patreon and has a sing of it himself. Da...

Natalie Cassidy is back on the pod talking more bollox with David and Joe. She tells them about her trip to Wimbledon and her appearance on Parenting Hell. They talk about holidays in Cornwall and enjoying art. Nat & Joe try to persuade David to show them his painting. They collaborate together to write a poem. Natalie writes the first line... they turn it into a game show called Stick It Up Y...

WBO Cruiserweight Champion Chris Billam-Smith is on the pod. Joe asks him if he wears his WBO belt around the house. David shows off his boxing gloves and puts them on the wrong hand. Chris tells them about his training programme, feeing nervous before sparring, his journey to becoming a world champ and being in the changing room pre-fight. They find out how Chris got his moniker 'The Gentleman',...

David and Joe chat about going to 3 days a week and the added pressure of trying to make good eps. David tells Joe about a family event he attended when the adults were getting on it dancing to hip hop. They talk about what it would have been like in their parents day at a fete with a cup of squash and mum listening to Jennifer Rush. The postman comes in again. After analysing the podcast a bit th...

Part two of an ongoing chat about David's cricket match. The chat starts with David & Joe having the realisation that in their heyday they weren't actually very good at cricket or football and they have, in fact been living in a dream. David tells Joe a bit more about his day playing cricket at The Valley Of The Rocks and how he felt donning his shin pads and going out to bat. He talks Joe thr...

In this comedy improv series, Joe & David are driving their fictitous narrowboat down the canal and spot an old aquaintance Robin Cooper having a picnic. They stop for a chat and immediately regret it. Mr Cooper has soooo much to tell them, all about Lilian Driftwoods mother being poisoned by black milk and the wood carving he is doing for his wife who can count to 100 and smells of beautiful...

Former broadcaster and radio presenter Iain Lee joins David and Joe for a candid chat about his life and career, getting old, feeling anxious at parties and everything in-between. Joe asks him about his experience in the jungle on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and David want's to know about the dunny. Iain names some brilliant guests he has been lucky enought to interview on the radio. David...

David & Joe talk to David Wilson, a former prison governor and well known criminologist. Despite the grim subject, they manage to get a smile from the professor before settling down for an indepth chat about true crime and psychopathic behaviour. They talk about the 'Sixth Commandment' BBC dramatisation. David Wilson previously wrote a book A Plot to Kill about this tragic true story (before t...

Joe & David catch up after the weekend. They discuss ring lights, lecturing in podcasting and how they would cope talking to uni students. David try's to explain about doing twitch, role playing as Brian Gittins in Grand Theft Auto and they muck about speeding up and slowing down the boring bits. They nearly forget to mention that the pod is moving to three days a week (which was the point of...

David has rekindled his love for cricket and tells Joe all about his recent game at England's most picturesque cricket ground Lynton & Lynmouth in the centre of the Valley Of The Rocks. Twenty seven minutes in he still hasn't told Joe anything about the game. He tells him about getting his old kit out of the loft, how he's missed his thigh pads and being in a panic shutting the mini bus door....

David and Joe managed to blag some Access All Area backstage passes to the Blur Concert at Wembley Stadium. They talk about the day and play some snippets of them exploring back stage and looking out on the arena before the crowds arrive. They feel like two dorks standing on the stage with their tiny microphones. Their new pal Steve Davis is DJ'ing so they hang out in his dressing room and have a...

Former England cricket captain David Gower comes onto the show and Joe tries his best to keep up with the cricket chat whilst David feels the need to prove to Mr Gower that he played cricket to a half decent standard.  Mr Gower tells them about joy riding in a tiger moth for an impromtu fly-by during the 1990/91 Ashes tour in Australia. Follow Chatabix on Twitter & Instagram: twitter.com/chata...

Ex-Navy Jac Hughes joins David and Joe to chat about his experiences on board a giant ship in the sea. Unfortunately Jac realised he suffered from sea sickness not long after joining the Navy. He talks about being one of thirty nine blokes in the mess, sleeping arrangements, not seeing land for two months and all the games that men play when they’re trapped in a big vessel. After he tells them abo...