Chart Music: the Top Of The Pops Podcast

The latest episode of the podcast which asks: what, him out of Brotherhood Of Man with the ‘tache? How old? Fucking hell! After an extended hiatus, the greatest podcast in the world about old episodes of Top Of The Pops roars back with its usual melange of incisive music criticism, flare-baiting, dodgy microphones and the language of the billiard hall. This episode, we’re on the cusp of The Great...

A moderately special episode of the podcast which asks: so what did Tony Orlando do to get banged up for three years, then? This episode, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, is a massively-flared, clompy-heeled, zebra-printed celebration of one of the greatest traditions of any British Christmas Day: the opportunity to force the rest of your extended family to sit through an end-of year episode of The Pops and...

The latest edition of the podcast which asks: if the Thompson Twins made you a sandwich, would you want to eat it? It’s Christmas Time, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, but there’s no need to be afraid – because we’re a full year away from any Band Aid rubbishness. It’s the last episode of The Pops before Xmas of 1983, and the studio is festooned with balloons and party hats, making it just like every other...

The latest edition of the podcast which asks: what is the least Mod Dungeons & Dragons character? This episode, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, has been cursed by the tang of man-flu and dodgy microphones, meaning it’s not at the usual hi-fidelity standard you’ve come to expect from Chart Music. But what an incident-packed go-around on the morbid carousel of Pop it is! There’s wave after wave of guest appe...

The latest episode of the podcast which asks: how bad would your war have to get before you start thinking of calling up Johnny Hates Jazz? This episode, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, sees the Chart Music gang trapped on the wrong side of Eightiestown, surrounded by a faceless herd of blandos in shitty suits with the sleeves rolled up, goaded into action by a wizened Don mincing about on top of a balcony...

The thirteenth go-around of the podcast which asks: Showaddywaddy? Again? Really? This episode, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, finally sees the good ship Chart Music sail way past the three-hour exclusion zone – but it can’t be helped, because the episode of Thursday Evening Pop Valhalla we dissect here is a classic. Some of the big guns of the Seventies are pulled out, but are immediately bricked by snot...

The dozenth episode of the podcast which asks: were Senser any good at Laser Quest? This episode – another pop-blather behemoth – sees us stepping right out of our comfort zone and looking at an episode from the mid-Nineties. A golden era when, as we all know, the charts were weighed down with young men with guitars and Paddington coats that made us all proud to be British again. The episode we ex...

The eleventh episode of the podcast which asks: is anyone willing to swap a Fonz action figure for a ‘Shakin’ Stevens and the Sunsets – Heterosexual Rock n’ Roll’ badge? This episode, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, has been a bastard to put together, and the sound quality may be a bit manky at times - but oh, what a glistening slab of televisual spangliness awaits us. It’s a full-on Flags & Balloons TOTP,...

The tenth episode of the podcast which asks: when did vest and pants go from being an instrument of self-expression to a punishment for leaving your games kit at home? This episode, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, sees us going back further than we’ve ever been before, to a time where Beatle wigs are still in Woolworths and nobody seems to mind that the BBC have taped some horse racing over their coverage...

The ninth episode of the podcast which asks: were England’s international failures of the 1970s caused by an insistence on playing football on beaches in massive flares and stack heels while pretending to be Marvin Gaye? This episode, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, sees us making another Sam Tyler-like voyage to Spangleland in an attempt to see if 1974 could keep up the quality levels of the year before,...

The eighth edition of the podcast which asks: a new version of Top Of The Pops with sketches? FUCK  OFF! This episode sees the controls of the Time Sofa hijacked by our own Simon Price, who force-lands it smack in the middle of 1981. He's been saying for ages that '81 is the greatest Pop year ever , forcing us to throw down the frilly, fingerless gauntlet. Things start weirdly with Simon Bates loo...

The seventh episode of the podcast which asks: if Les Dennis and Dustin Gee were Torvill and Dean, who would be who? This episode sees us firmly on the wrong half of the Eighties, with Live Aid a mere five-and-a-bit weeks behind us, and the Greatest Pop Programme Ever is not coping very well with it. At all. For starters, it's been shunted up to 7.55pm to make way for Eastenders, The Kids are burd...

This sixth episode of the podcast which asks: a Lego submarine full of maggots? Really? This episode sees us throwing ourselves between two stools marked 'GLAM/FUNK' and 'PUNK/DISCO' and sprawling awkwardly in the space marked '1975', in order to check whether it really was one of the tawdrier years for Pop. Spoiler alert: yes, it rather is, actually. Emperor Rosko (looking for all the world like...

The fifth episode of the podcast which asks: why is Richard Stilgoe going on about acne? This episode finds Top Of The Pops smack in the middle of the Eighventies in a state of flux, after being off air for nine weeks due to a Musicians Union strike. The Kids are sat on the floor, the set is even more sparse than usual, and they're experimenting with guest co-hosts - a process which would start wi...

The fourth episode of the podcast which asks: what the fuck is a ‘Baby’s Treat’? This episode takes us back to the absolute cusp of the Eighties, a mere three weeks away before Margaret Thatcher starts wiping her arse on the country delivers strong and stable leadership. No synthy palaver or 2-Tonery in the charts just yet – it’s a lucky bag of randomness consisting of Punk bands at the end of the...

The third edition of the podcast which asks: is that an apple or a strawberry on Pans Peoples' arses? In this episode - the chunkiest yet - we set the controls of the Time Sofa smack into the heart of the Glam era and get down to '73. The charts are encrusted with the bland mung of Osmond, but it's also rammed out with mid-Sixties chancers suddenly finding themselves in the Big Time in strange tro...

The second edition of the podcast which asks: who would win in a massive cage fight amongst Radio 1 DJs of the 70s and 80s? This episode, we enter the late winter of George Orwell’s visionary magnum opus – but not even in his worst nightmares would he have imagined the Ministry of Pop Telly trying (and failing) to throw the No.1 single down the memory hole. And a Top 40 with two  Thompson Twins en...

The debut of the podcast that takes a random episode of Top Of The Pops and breaks it down to its very last compound. It’s the Summer of ’77, and the Sex Pistols are finally allowed on. Will The Kids start gobbing on anyone onstage in flares? Will Legs & Co do the Pogo whilst dressed as giant swastikas? Will Kid Jensen point out that you have to destroy in order to create, and then t...