Chapel Probation

Paul Kirz is a classically-trained pianist and musician from Souther California who went to APU. Thankfully, his rigorous training, practicing, and performing in the Music Department kept him so busy that he didn't get the full brunt of all the usual racism, bigotry, and conservative fundamentalism of the school. And as the concept of the divine has come up in the past few episodes, Paul learn...

Shannon Kearns grew up in a fundamentalist family and church knowing he was outside of the parameters of acceptable christian living. He resolved to live as a celibate queer woman and become a youth pastor, and even did so for a time. But he eventually found a fuller life and a viable faith by transitioning. It was this new perspective as a man secure in his identity that unlocked the missing elem...

Brandon Flanery grew up in fundamentalist evangelical culture, but he knew early on he was gay. This caused him to dig in harder to his faith, leading him to an evangelical school and eventually YWAM. But he eventually discovered that embracing his sexuality gave him a peace and joy about himself, and he has since explored all manner of experiences leading him to better understand himself and the...

Heather Owens was literally born of IBLP/ATI indoctrination, the result of her parents deciding to resume filling up their "quivers" for christs by having "reversal babies." We are grateful that Heather is here, though, and her story sheds more bad light on the IBLP/ATI world with its systemic abuse of babies and children and its shielding of powerful men who groom and assault...

Andrew Pledger grew up in a Christian fundamentalist cult (IFB) that led him to attend Bob Jones University. He knew he was gay, and he knew things were not right with the faith that criminalized his very existence. But as a young man, he had no options to escape his family's control or the bizarre, abusive rules of BJU. At first, Andrew tried to put his head down, follow the rules, and get ou...

Before Chapel Probation and before Asian American Apostate existed, Em Torres invited me to come onto her podcast, The Life She Wrote. I had written her a theme song, but other than that, I didn't have anything public out there, but Em saw me as someone with something to say. I'll always be grateful for that. Em went to Vanguard University for a year, trying her best to follow God's wi...

CW: descriptions of nuclear war I wrote a longer version of this in my substack , but here is something I wanted to say on this platform. I had to stop and regroup a few times, and I even had to omit a few lines because I just couldn't say them out loud. But I'm not OK with Oppenheimer. I'm not saying anything against anyone who enjoyed it, as I'm sure it's a well-crafted movie...

Jazz Robertson grew up and came of age playing drums in churches. From CCM to gospel, she found connection to musicians and music which kept her involved in church. But the connection to the bible and God never quite happened, despite her best efforts. But like a lot of us, she held on to the music in church until she just couldn't anymore. For both of us, music kept us in church and it led th...

If you've watched the documentary, Shiny Happy People , you know some of the horrific details of the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) and the Advanced Training Institute (ATI). Both are systems that drive a cult that became mainstream when The Learning Channel aired too many seasons of that insipid bullshit about the Duggar family. America ate that shit up and made the Duggars the pla...

Think you know about evangelical revivals? Did you hear about the one at Asbury this year? This episode with author and life adventurer, Tim Mathis, will shed new light on how revivals erupt, so to speak. I promise you, it's not what you think. Or if it is, you're probably a regular listener of Chapel Probation. Tim Mathis shares his personal stories and observations of his time at Asbury,...

One of the best people I've met in the past couple years doing this work is Gail, the co-host of the Full Mutuality Podcast . I want everyone who listens to Chapel Probation to also get to know the other podcasters in our Dauntless Media group , and Gail is one of the founding members. From rough family beginnings to foster care, Gail grew up in Canada in highly religious settings. But she, li...

I admit it. There was a time I has zero hope for the LGBTQIA students and faculty at evangelical schools. But that was before REAP came on the scene bringing legal firepower to the fight against the inhumane bigotry and discrimination all evangelical schools are guilty of promoting and enforcing. The tide is turning now. Paul Southwick started REAP after working with trans students at an evangelic...

You've seen (hopefully) The Secrets of Hillsong . You lamented how it centered Carl Lentz cosplaying Zoolander at his "corporate" job (That wasn't just me, right?). And you were introduced to Janice Lagata , if you didn't already know her work. So forget Carl and listen to Janice tell her story of attending Hillsong "College" in Australia and being part of the begin...

"Holly" is a Spanish teacher and an avid runner who listens to Chapel Probation every Tuesday on her regular run. She went to an EV college almost by accident before switching to a public school to finish undergrad, but then found herself at a conservative Catholic high school. Her experiences there were eerily similar to my own experiences teaching at APU with racism, misogyny, and anti...

Peter Fenton is a young man just 6 years out of college at Wheaton, and he is killing it. His creative output for this year alone is incredible, and his past life as an evangelical has served to fuel his creative energy. He's got a film he produced making the festival rounds, and his play, Abandon All Hope is set to premier at the Rougue Theater Festival Off-Broadway this Saturday night. A lot...

You've probably come across Marla Taviano on Instagram or Twitter where she posts as "White Girl Learning," a book-promoting persona that focuses on BIPOC writers and authors. In this episode, Marla talks about her early days as a dedicated evangelical Christian, blissfully unaware of the bigotry and oppression BIPOC people face and her experiences and relationships that helped her s...

Dr. Sara Moslener was once a Pro-life, abstinence-only culture warrior who won awards for her fundamentalist activism, but she deconstructed and became one of the foremost researchers of purity culture and its harmful effects on society. From Calvin College to Claremont Graduate University, Dr. Moslener has become an academic force exposing the dangers of purity culture. Her first book, Virgin Nat...

Jeff Karow took a stand against evangelical culture in the deep south, and it cost him dearly. Advocating for social justice alienated him from his community, his best friends, and his family. The episode starts out as another great, fun, look at an evangelical school, in this case Moody Chicago, but it ended up being a life-changing experience for both of us. No comedy or music segments in this e...

Dr. Julie Ingersoll is an expert fly fisher and fly fishing writer, but that's not why you're here. Dr. Ingersoll is also a researcher and scholar of religious studies, and she has been a leading voice in exposing American evangelicalism as a threat to democracy and a pluralistic society. Like me, she deconstructed decades ago, forging her own identity as a scholar and as a human outside o...

Lily was a founding member of the Sisters 9, a group of writers, musicians, and artists, who carved out a space for themselves as free-thinkers devoted to lives filled with art and exploration. Naturally, she was an enigma at a place like APU, and she quickly deconstructed her faith, replacing it with a mission to bring uncensored art to the campus through zines and an open mic event called, &quot...

We're back with Season 3! We start the season with someone who helped Scott get started in the deconstruction world, Dr. Chrissy Stroop. Everyone who listens to this podcast is likely familiar with Chrissy's work, but she joins us to talk about her educational experiences and how they shaped who she is today. Dr. Stroop is a co-editor in the groundbreaking Empty the Pews anthology of stori...

Just a quick finale to an amazing season. Thank you to everyone who came on Chapel Probation and thank you to everyone who has tuned in.  Asian American Apostate : Losing Religion and Finding Myself at an Evangelical University is coming out soon, so stay tuned for pre-orders.  Apologies to Blake Chastain for this Moonlight moment where I gave him the Chapel Probation award, but I gotta...

Like me, Gloria Beth Amodeo went to a "normal" school for college. But also like me, she got caught up in an evangelical ministry on campus. Cru was once Campus Crusade for Christ, and Beth joined up to escape what she thought was the evil secular values of the school. There she was indoctrinated into purity culture and fundamentalist views of the bible and church. She compares her experience to t...

It's Valentine's Day. Yay. Whatever. The topic that I get asked to cover most is purity culture. And while many of the guests on Chapel Probation have mentioned sex and sexual experiences, almost all the stories get told as cautionary tales that result in punishment or guilt or shame. Not fun. Sex and sexuality should be a normal part of human development, but if you add evangelical culture to the...

Ariel has been a big supporter of Chapel Probation as a moderator for the Facebook group and the inspiration behind in-person events. She attended APU and is connected to A Scott and Mahrs Shoppman as a housemate in the famed Synchronicity LA house, which was an intentional community formed by some APU alumni. I wanted to hear Ariel's thoughts on the podcast and her own experiences at APU, so it's...