Chapel Probation

Jeff Karow told one of the most moving stories a couple of seasons ago, and he returns to Chapel Probation to give an update and to share some of his insights into putting his life together after leaving his conservative church and getting divorced. Like for so many people, deconstructing faith can have dire consequences. Relationships with family and friends can be strained or even irrevocably br...

It often comes as a surprise to non-Asians that people like Rohadi Nagassar and myself have things to say. Especially inside of North American Christianity. Like the proverbial tree falling in the forrest with no one to hear it, we do exist. We Asians often have to find our way out of church to develop our voices. Forget about "platforms." We have to first decolonize our own minds to learn that we...

As someone who was born into a family that got completely fucked by this country, I have some thoughts about the current situation. My family lost everything and had no due process before being incarcerated in concentration camps simply for being Japanese American. No one in my family takes freedom for granted because of this, and no one assumes this country has our best interests in mind ever. So...

Liz Matthews has been a social media friend and member of the Chapel Probation Facebook group, and we finally got her on to tell her story. She graduated from Biola where she played basketball, but she actually had a good time there. Liz brings up the concept of "shelving" borrowed from Ex-Mormon podcasts. It's where you place all the doubts, questions, and issues that aren't compatible with evang...

Welcome to the first full episode of Season 5! We kick things off with Mary B Safrit , a writer and podcaster who actually interviewed Scott a few weeks ago on her podcast, Found Family . Mary B grew up in a mix of christian traditions and went to a normal college where she worked with Young Life. This solidified her evangelical identity at the time, but she went on to come out as bisexual while s...

What is Chapel Probation today? Who knows? Not me. But I'm going to keep going to give voice to people who are not ok with the state of things. Christians are to blame for where we are today, and our stories can help lead us out of this mess. That said, I wanted to also address what I think "community" is or should be. I give some thoughts on the TNE mess and the state of the deconst...

In deconstruction circles, it can feel like our experiences are so unique, and in many cases they are, but thestruggle for identity and agency in our identities is a universal one. ⁠Diana's⁠ story of immigrating from England to the US as part of a conservative Iranian family mirrors our fundamentalist Christian upbringings in so many ways. Diana tells her story in exquisite detail, highlightin...

This week we talk to therapist, author, and podcaster, Janice Selbie. Scott and Priska saw an ad for the Shameless Sexuality conference and knew they had to talk to Janice about her story in which she went from the most conservative fundamentalist world to a sex-positive, religion-free life. The Pentecostal life wasn't restrictive enough for Janice, so she joined a local group of Mennonites wh...

UPDATE: Uploaded the sizzle file by accident. Should be the correct file now. In start contrast to last episode's rundown of I Kissed Dating Goodbye's no-touch, no fun, no-humanity mindset, we look at more recent trends in remaining "pure" while still managing to get some. And it's bizarre. The Horny Chapel is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dauntless Media Collective.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send us...

We're about 25 years late to this and about 7 years past Japanese American Joshua Harris denouncing his shitty book, but here we are. After Scott's Substack post about Harris had 4x as many reads as he has subscribers, we figured we should take a look back at why today's Christians are so damaged. A big part of it is purity culture. Scott never read the book, having slammed it shut aft...

As we wrap up season 4, we return to where Chapel Probation began: Azusa Pacific "University." 20 years ago, I was asked to take over a Freshman Writing class because the other adjunct quit suddenly. There I met Rochelle and we've been friends ever since. From the shallow, fake people of the dorms to the fringes of APU's then progressive crevices, Rochelle went from evangelical christian to a shad...

You've probably heard Caleb Martin' s music somewhere on TV. I met Caleb in our music community through Shin Kawasaki, whose music you hear every week on Chapel Probation. But I had no idea Caleb had an evangelical background until just the past couple of years when we started chatting on IG about religious trauma. And I'm glad we did chat because it gave me the perfect excuse to talk to him, some...

Happy New Year! We close out 2024 with Dr. Lucas Wilson who survived Liberty University and the conversion therapy it offered. Life at Liberty was complicated as Luke tried to follow the rules and heal himself from his "same-sex attraction" as the christian put it. But he had some bizarre experiences that left him confused and searching for answer. He would not find the answers at Liberty. But he...

It's Christmas Eve and this means different things for everyone. Some have the family gathering with food and laughter. Many do not. Chaz grew up in an unhappy family that was fully devoted to the horrific teachings of a backwards church. He endured every kind of abuse there is before growing up and finding his way out. As a co-host of the Excommunication Station , Chaz pushes back at the harmful...

Dr. Olsen was that kid who witnessed to his elementary teachers and still got A's. In college, he poked theological holes in his Cedarville classmates' theologies and was still popular. But ultimately, his quest for knowledge and truth caused him to deconstruct his fundamentalist faith and fully accept his identity as a queer man. Despite emerging from Cedarville with mostly fond memories, Dr. Ols...

We're back at Moody this week with Rebecca Williamson. Not only do we get the scoop on the expected racism and misogyny, we actually get a practical look at what life under Project 2025 will be like. That's right. Attending christian schools is the perfect preview for Project 2025. It's just that instead of being limited to these campuses, the bizarre, oppresive rules will be applied to the entire...

If you grew up in purity culture, you were taught that things like sex, alcohol, and porn were evil portals to demon possession, and you would become addicted to these kinds of vices. Of course people can become addicted to things, but purity culture lied to us. For most christians, there is no such thing as balanced living with people making choices and decisions about what they want to do or con...

Immigration reform has been completely abandoned by politicians on both sides with Christians leading the charge against people coming into the U.S. across the southern border. And with the coming winter of our discontent things will get worse. But it's important to point out that not all christians are anti-immigrant. In fact, the research of Dr. Lloyd Barba and Dr. Sergio Gonzalez helps us see t...

LGBTQIA students, faculty, and staff at chrisitian schools have always faced bigotry and discrimination. Since the election a few weeks ago, that bigotry and discrimination has increased at alarming levels. Although there is uncertainty about the future of Title 9 protections, the fact is that queer people have not been safe at christian schools and this will only worsen in the coming years as sch...

Breaking up is hard to do. It's even harder to do in Purity Culture if you've experienced any degree of physical intimacy with your partner. This leads people to remain in unhealthy and even abusive relationships because of deeply programmed guilt and shame. Esther Cho is a singer/songwriter and dear friend of Priska. She was gracious enough to enter the Horny Chapel and talk about a past relation...

We were weeping and gnashing our teeth after the election, so we decided to record a joint episode to process the grief, rage, constipation, etc. I was on vacation in Minneapolis, so I had my earbuds. Sorry for my bad audio. But if you're looking for a conversation about what this election means, enjoy this 2-hour special episode.

Donavon Delisle grew up in a nightmarish household of bizarre christianity and an abusive father who controlled everything. As awful as Donavon's story is, it falls within the "normal" area of christian households for the simple fact that it was patriarchal. Sexual, physical, and emotional abuse may have been factors in the house, but these were all under the umbrella of patriarchal normalcy. If i...

Tori Williams Douglass is back on Chapel Probation to talk about her homeschooling experience, which was more home indoctrination into fundamentalist chrsitianity than home education. But she asked questions and sought answers, which is a recipe for disaster in that world. We also talk about Content Warning and how it can help us heal from our educational and church pasts. Be sure to check out Tor...

Priska and Scott get spicy...well, as spicy as possible within the confines of purity culture...as they talk about their sexual awakenings. Even inside purity culture, curiosity and desire got stimulated, giving them a glimpse into sexual possibilities. From pop culture, movies, music, to their friends, sex and sexuality was on their minds, whether they wanted it to be or not. And as embarrassing...

One could argue that most christian churches and organizations are "culty" or even proper cults. No argument necessary for the bizarre churches Uriah Wesman grew up in. With their ritual chanting, leaders choosing mates to have lots of children, and ridiculous levels of control over every aspect on one's life, yep. Cults. The very definition. But even as a kid, Uriah was brave enough to envision a...