Cabot Cove Confidential

How short a trip is too short for a private jet flight? How old is Scott? Why are polo helmets so goofy? How young is Scott? And is Dane the worst at buisness, polo, blackmail or all three?

Would you watch a knot tying competition show? Have you been a good boy? Why didn't they just do a cold case episode? What's Mothman's glute routine? And how did Damien feel about this one?

What is Linda's level of employment? Why is auerbach such a jerk? Is Damien's meta old man rant the meta old man rant to end them all? And do we believe that Michael didn't know those computers were stolen?

How many times is Pat Hingle going to play this same dude? Are convertibles a genetic Metzger trait? Is Wayne pretty much the pinnacle catch in Cabot Cove? And why does Damien keep yelling, 'full of bees!'?

How many gigawatts does it take to run a tv? Is Girard the worst? Is Brent the weirdest? And how loud is that hotub?

Is there a minimum harumphing age? What will we learn in Corey Feldman's criminolgy class? Did we uncover Banksy's identity? And how does one end up in a chain letter?

Should we let you know when we're funny? When did Seth aquire this newfound sense of risk? How long will we talk about our old apartments? And do supermodels change shape when dressed as ninjas?

Can we build an entire episode out of your Insagram comments? How long would it have taken for Jess to figure out that Bob was working through Leland? Is your least liked episode our favorite? And will all this Liver King material land?

Where's the Amish scarecrow episode? Did Richard Survive this episode? Why don't we like this episode? Why couldn't Pat Harrigton have a mustache in this episode? And will every question end with the word 'episode'?

Is this emotional terrorism, an amazing episode, or both? Is Clint absent minded or way too stuck on being Frank's wingman? How specific are Damien's dish detergent requirements? And why didn't The Dracula Bun take off as the premiere women's hairstyle of the 90s?

Can three people live off of a part-time ventriloquist's salary? What is a puppet's opinion on communal living? Was Kate's murder overshadowed by the disappearance of Billy Boy or was Billy Boy's disappearance overshadowed by Kate's murder? And can Stanton expense his dinner with Rhoda?

How many times does someone say Ned Jenks? Was the cannery bill a big waste of time since it closed anyway? What's the sasquatch ratio in the northwestern USA? How far did thirty five cents go in 1971? And can you find the bride in a hippie wedding photo?

How do you feel about horse voices? Is McGraw or Henderson your favorite Harry? Why did that cane get so bloody? Can a three letter Tod be trusted? Should Christie move or just stay single? And do horses know their children's future? 

Why can't either of the hosts do a good Willie Tanner impersonation? Why do they keep trying? How many Gene Shalit costumes does it take to steal two million dollars? And i f you don't get a face to face with JB do you even exist?

Do you leave an open place at the table for your favorite author? Who says pa-tah-do? Did Jess's attitude lower the temperature in Texas? And did you watch Rover McCauley P.I.?

Did the second Meatballs film bring big bucks to the wig industry? Why is Mort so free with his bowling shoes? Where would 'the bridge' be in a car? And is Lt Powell the biggest Chris Gains fan?

Will we ever talk about the episode? What caused more dad-foot damage, four-sided dice or GI-Joe backpacks? Ice cream cakes or fancy chocolates? And where do you land on mall food sample etiquette?

How effective is a limo as a getaway car? How dangerous are big fuzzy coats? Can Michael become 2 Legit 2 Quit? And why does an injection even rate when some lobster-bib rando is already going at your dad with a scalpel?

When did this kind of hand gore become acceptable? Can mitten typing uncover a crime? Has the exploding piano conspiracy finally been revealed? And how awesome was it to know this is the last time we see Ben Devlin?

How many pounds will a bedazzled singlet add to your total? Are ice cream and attempted murderers the secret to longevity? Is it impossible to be both good at crime solving and song writing? And who numbers their pages on the top right?

Was Twain Con '90 the last Twain Con? Will Mad Kermit Energy be the next big thing? Can Stavros take a break from writing hit 80s hair band lyrics to throw Stanton an assist? And how many teeth does Erlich really have?

Why is MSW's first murderer the least terrible guy in this episode? Why doesn't Ross work in criminal defense? Is Slocum ever going to do something about that sneeze? How do Linette and Kendall think they're fooling anyone? And why are they so gross?

Is jealousy getting in the way of Clarence's wealth from a Wayne Gym juice display? Just how honest is a wooden drug store Abe? Is any shower head worth $99 in 1990's currency? And will Eve Simpson's reputation survive? Don't worry, it's all going to ...work out, hahaha, in 'A Body To Die For'.

Can't JB just let it go? What was Rocco's resume like? Will the Finleys consider Sid Staples as a replacement driver since he is now out of work? And why would you use a known kleptomaniac as the face of your campaign for DA? The espisode that would have gotten away with it if not for that damned cat, The Family Jewels.

Layers of manipulation and deciet envelope us as we are drawn into Hannigan's Wake. And lots of jerks.