But Not All At Once

Hello, and welcome to quarantine. It's a simple enough concept, right? Stay put. Stay safe. We want to embrace it whole-heartedly, to be thankful and still and use the time to tackle all manner of long-overdue projects. So WHY DOES THIS FEEL SO HARD? Wherever you land on the spectrum from peace to panic, this pep talk is for anyone experiencing quarantine and its many weird side effects. The...

Early in 2019, I decided to step off the scale for a full year. When I brought it up in the But Not All At Once Instagram community, the feedback was overwhelming - questions, worries, fears, curiosity.  In the 14 months since, I haven't cheated once; that's 14 months longer than I'd ever gone before. As a woman raised with eyes and ears in this country, I absorbed many a message ab...

It's the oddest dichotomy: we're all in this quarantine thing together, but everyone feels entirely on their own. The road ahead seems cloudy, and there's more than enough panic to go around - but not enough ground beef or toilet paper. Here's a quick chat about some ways we can make the days ahead doable, restful, productive, memorable, manageable or even fun - but not all at...

Imagine your brain is a laptop. If you pulled the Task Manager up, what would it look like?  Does it feel like 54 different "apps" are running in the back of your mind at all hours? Like a million tabs are open, but no one else can see what's clogging things up? What invisible, everpresent, capacity-devouring to-do list items pop up the moment your head hits the pillow? Or while you...

Brooke Turner would have been 40 years old tomorrow. She passed away on February 2 from Stage IV breast cancer, nearly five years after her initial diagnosis. Cancer is not her legacy, though; that's spelled out here in her own words, chronicling the "sweetest days" of her life. Today's episode was recorded six months ago, cobbled together from multiple conversations as storms...

Susan and Jason Smith faced the unimaginable nine years ago: their two-month-old daughter passed away while recovering from open heart surgery. Born perfect and pink despite a severe congenital heart defect called HLHS, Emerson Rose Smith inspired her parents to serve other families like theirs. For Susan, the first step was donating a closet's worth of diapers and wipes from the nursery her...

February is American Heart Month, and today's story will warm (and shock and break and inspire) yours.  The Poole family was planning a low-key night watching Clemson football when Stephen returned from the grill to find Mandy, 8 weeks pregnant and 32 years old, unresponsive on the couch beside their two children.  Finding no pulse, he performed 11 minutes of CPR to keep Mandy and their baby...

Mary Craig Hart had three children, the youngest of whom was still a baby, when she felt a tug on her heart for adoption. She kept her husband in the dark for a while, afraid of what he'd say, as she researched and cried and prayed. Turns out he'd felt the same pull too - but where would they even start? Today the Harts' son, Franklin, is seven years old, thriving and smiling alongs...

So much unfolded in the Sussexit Saga last week!  Where did things land around the Duke and Duchess' titles, HRH status, living arrangements, patronages, finances and future?  Are Harry and Meghan more or less protected against media intrusion? What's behind their latest lawsuit? Is there precedent for royals pursuing commercial income? What are the consequences of their moving eight tim...

By popular demand, But Not All At Once takes a deep dive into Sussexit. A primer for royal newbies and a full overview for those of us well-versed in the House of Windsor, today’s episode covers the who, what, why and WHYYYY of The Duke and Duchess of Sussex's recent announcement. And also the rules about capitalizing "The" in front of royal titles, a particularly irksome detail for...

Emilie Blanchard isn't your average wellness influencer; she's an entrepreneur, a creative mind most at home in the kitchen, and a genuinely good-hearted soul devoted to helping others feel as fantastic as they can. Through Tasty as Fit, Emilie has been sharing plant-based recipes far and wide on Instagram for years; more recently, she has opened a storefront to feed her hometown the unp...

Taking a break from alcohol changed Kim Banks' sleep, her skin, her relationships and, most of all, her outlook on life. Though never an alcoholic, she cycled through feeling emotionally dependent on drinking, a habit she tried to moderate or kick entirely many times before going alcohol-free.  Kim encourages us to rethink our relationship with drinking; for some that may mean moderation, but...

Kim Mogan founded GirlUp GVL to empower marginalized girls in Greenville, SC. While the root issues putting these young women at risk - poverty, racism, inequality - are too complex to untangle, Kim is changing lives one relationship at a time. Through GirlUp GVL, Kim aims to teach her middle and high schoolers that they're loved, and to help them understand their worth. Sometimes that looks...

It's a But Not All At Once gift guide - of sorts. No swipe-ups, commissions or kickbacks, and no deep theological dives into the meaning of Christmas. This is more about getting by so you can really get INTO the holiday. How long should our lists be? What great ideas can you steal for your mother-in-law, your best friend, or (even harder) your best friend's kid? How do other families exc...

Artist Gavin Hendricksen had a full, beautiful life in Charlotte, North Carolina, but she was plagued by a barrage of symptoms that didn't make sense. She dealt with headaches, exhaustion, anxiety, hair loss, a disappearing libido and the nagging feeling something was wrong, but no doctor seemed to agree. After hearing "you're just a busy mom" a few times, Gavin brought her con...

We can't sniffle our way through every episode, so here's a 100% tissue-free chat with my dearest friend. On today’s episode, Erin Demo and I tackle listener questions about the tricky business of friendship while adulting.  How can you be a better friend?  How do we meet new people but avoid FOMO? Where can we squeeze in time for friends when no one's schedules align? Is "pick...

Four years ago, Hadley Eddings was nine months pregnant with a two-year-old in the backseat. She felt a nudge to turn around and say, "I love you." After that, life as she knew it turned upside down. In a tragedy that made headlines, a multi-car accident injured both Hadley and her husband, Gentry, as they drove home from a family wedding. Rushed into an emergency c-section alone, Hadley...

Lifestyle blogger Cristin Cooper brought her trademark sense of humor to discuss building a business, feeling good about yourself (and your social media feed) whatever your shape, the unseen work behind her success, her life hacks, the tiny spangled outfits worn by college dance teams, and what keeps her from throwing things when she gets unnecessary feedback from strangers on the interwebs.  I wa...

The Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, is the latest in a long, long line of mothers (and humans in general) who have faced massive life changes and the mental health struggles that can come along with them.  In today's episode, counselor Amanda Banks discusses the basics of post partum mental health - from the definitions of anxiety and depression to specific tips for those of us hoping to he...

Laura Cox's creative outlet, a jewelry and accessories business, became her side hustle before she took the entrepreneurial leap into full-time self-employment.  Laura Cox Collection quickly found a niche in women wanting chic, affordable pieces accessible right from their Instagram feeds. What her followers may not know, though, is how many hats she wears, how her family and business became...

Kim Jamieson is a "ride or die" friend, public relations pro and homeowner; she holds two degrees and spends more time in airports than anyone who doesn't serve ginger ale or fly actual planes. She's a flat-out lovely human with a full, beautiful life.  Then a nurse caressing her arm as Kim gave blood this summer exclaimed, "You're not married? Why?! You're so pr...

Melissa Vanzant-Birch met a handsome stranger in a Boston Starbucks when she was a law student; just as if Hollywood screenwriters had scripted it, that chance meeting changed everything. Today Melissa is a mom of two little Brits with a thriving London legal career far different from the one she imagined as an undergrad in Chapel Hill. We discuss the indignity of our children correcting our pronu...

Just a few years ago, The Nashville Mom was a lifelong South Carolinian; today she is basically Reese Witherspoon's bestie. (That may be a stretch, but when Draper James hosts a launch party for you, isn't it a logical conclusion?)  Dawn Burns is now deeply rooted in a community that looks to her when it's time to do something new, celebrate a special occasion or a spend a fun weeke...

In the span of three years, Danica Thomas went from girlfriend to caregiver to wife to widowed mother of two. The life she'd signed up for was gone, and she never expected her husband’s would end so soon.  Allen, a two-time Purple Heart recipient, was critically injured in Afghanistan and forced to medically retire from the Army. Facing significant physical rehabilitation, a traumatic brain i...

Even when educator Bonnie McClain isn't in the classroom, her mind's on it: she's researching new techniques, reading about how to keep her fifth-graders engaged, and preparing herself for the work she calls her "passion."  Imagine her surprise when her oldest son, then in first grade, struggled to read and showed signs of dyslexia; of all people, she felt she'd have...