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im working on shifting my mindset. i want to be healthier and take care of myself but i also love what being unhealthy has taught me and made me out to be.

i heard the idea that what we all really want is just to feel. every materialistic system planned thing is just keeping us on the wheel to never be satisfied.... i want to be satisfiable. i want to feel and be present and love life fully as it is now. i am trying to find what i genuinely want.. not what I'm told to want. love you.

kind of the random things on my mind this week. i had a few things said to me that had big impacts. i have a new toy!!!! still getting ready for our festivalllll

soo i went to the doctor this morning and got some bad news... this is my health update. i literally got home from the doc, cried for 10 mins then came to record so this is super real and raw and im just sharing my feelings in this moment. these aren't all my truest feelings, but it is where i am at right now. the only way to go is up. i am becoming healthier every single day so i guess there is t...

tw: sa rainn- 8006564673 tw when we start talking about fight or flight and we hear one story from the one and only shyanne.. she tells us some stuff about her life experiences and perspectives on things. kind of random and light but we get deep the more were talking. love you bye

i am becoming a truer lover. i am learning and keeping myself open to growth. this sounds like every other episode i guess but it is different and feels different is the same way lol. idk just come sit and listen geez. love you

Last weeks episode sucked but i like this one a lot better! I am becoming the version of myself that is the truest most beautiful one i can imagine . I think this episode is very present and honest. Im exited so its a little chaotic but i love it lol.

TW:SA RAINN- 1800-656-4673 weird stories wrapping up the boy stuff... graphic but necessary. hanging out with a 40 year old man for the plot was a wild surprise maybe its just men i dont like...

it is getting closer to our camping festival, and we are so excited i talk a lot about that and then other random shit. love you

lifeline: 988 i talk about what's been happening in my life lately. going to my first ren faire!! new ideas and thoughts! I also talk about driving through the town i grew up in and seeing things differently now. Realizing how much i have distanced myself, i didn't even remember some of my friends' houses. this town has had some tragic losses and i was able to hold space for that as i was driving...

TW: SA. RAINN- 18006564673 you would like to think that cops, whose job is to protect you, wouldn't abuse that power...but nope. shitty friends, liars, power hungry, selfish, cheater boys. Its SA awareness month and i think it is so important that i share and take my voice back in whatever way i can. i think this podcast is my biggest voice and i want to share so maybe at least one person feels se...

fuck it. fuck society standards... the box, it's like a little small box some random bitch made for a tiny non-existent group of people and everyone else hates themselves for not fitting into this box, but it literally was not made for us.... I hate these standards and the way it affects all of us even the people who mostly fit inside of it. idk anyone who fits perfectly and its SO harmful to ever...

TW: Sa; coercion RAINN- 18006564673 My first love. My first healthy relationship, with a boy that honestly saved me in a lot of ways and taught me a lot.... that I deserve respect from a man... it didn't stick... recently have been getting disrespected af by a man from a 7-year situationship, if you will. lots of good tea here. I am still learning so much. Even though I am a completely different p...

Another pause from the boys. I talk about my current life experiences and my thoughts about that. I am a deeply feeling person and I am so glad I have you to turn any ordinary conversation into something deeper. Also, an update on my journey of reconnecting lol...tea! I AM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO POST LAST WEEK!! I AM SO MAD BECAUSE I RECORDED IT AND EVERYTHING, I JUST FORGOT TO CLICK PUBLISH AHHHHHH...

TW: sexual abuse, graphic SA, self-harm, suicide. Please take of yourself. RAINN- 18006564673 SAFE - 18003668288 Suicide hotline- 988 Losing my virginity at a young age has had a giant impact on my life. I discuss how my first "relationship" has carried into who I am today. There is a lot of tea in this episode. I share a lot of things that looked different from the outside perspective. I think I...

Explaining how anxiety and depression show up in my life. Also, a lot of random shit. I want to take breaks in between telling all my stupid boy stories. This is a little bit of a fluffer. It was fun and made me feel a lot better... sometimes a bitch just needs to yap.

Trigger Warning: sexual abuse. National sexual assault hotline: 800-656-4673 Reddit story I shared @thiccurlydesiqueen I feel really misunderstood about my past self. I think if I could really shed light on one thing it's this kind of thing. I have been objectified and slut shamed since I first got tits in third grade... I learned my place in this world and how to present myself at a really young...

Really honest anddd really all over the place. I have so many thoughts and ideas. I'm trying to explain everything happening but idk if anyone else will get it. it felt good for me. I still know nothing and have no answers, but I do have lots of thoughts.

first 10 mins is just an update of my current state... sad... Then, I talk about my current relationships and some unhealthy habits I have. I play with the idea of reconnecting with people from my past relationships. I get a little deeper into my sexuality and my relationships with straight men vs. women/other. Also, how I deal with heartbreak and learning to love myself.

I used my day off to have an "ok what now" kind of vibe. I went to the park to go walk but ended up doing a lot more than just walking. I got out of my comfort zone a little bit and it felt really freeing. Then I ramble about some other stuff in my life and talk about piercings.

NEW MIC OMG OMG... yayayayay it sounds so much better holy shit. It still takes me like 15-20 mins to really get in my zone and stop rambling, sorry ish. ghost stories, dying, and bugs. Whoever is listening, thank you for being here. ily <3

better than the last one. I'm still unsure about audio corrections. I talk more about my life and people who had a big influence on me. also throw in some hobbies and other randomness.

audio is super messy, but I tried and am still trying to figure it out. you can tell once I kind of get into my zone it becomes less all over the place.