Brown Girl Guilt

"Hey, do you have Snapchat?"-- the way to a woman's heart in 2022. JK NOT. In this episode, host Harpo tells us why she doesn't give a guy her Snapchat during their first encounter, no matter how interesting the conversation was, no matter how cute the guy was. She breaks it down and shows us how it's reflective of an incredibly casual culture of dating-- one that she is over upholding. In the end...

Ghosting is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. Ghosting is also the theme of host Harpo's love life. And probably for all the other millennials out there, because everyone loves to ghost. But ghosting? At our big age? Not cool. Harpo has been majorly ghosted often and each time, it sparked a ton of hur...

Raise your hand if you have a secret list somewhere in your room of the kind of partner you want to attract. Well, it shouldn't be a secret. It should be an embodied list that you check often and check consistently. Host Harpo does that and she's working on not just calling in a partner that matches that list, but becoming the kind of person that reflects that list. In this episode, she openly sha...

Oh boy. Emotional unavailability. Defined widely as not being able to respond to emotional needs or cues. But for host Harpo, emotionally unavailable is her type. Or so it was. In this episode, Harpo shares the story of the first time she realized she was attracting emotionally unavailable men. Spoiler alert: she realized it had everything to do with her own emotional unavailability. Tune in and s...

The universe is always speaking to us, whether we're listening or not. In this episode, host Harpo shares the story of a time the universe spoke to her loud and clear. What she realized when she finally tuned in and listened to the universe is that she was in the middle of a great, profound transition. Harpo's White Butterfly Story is one that reminds us that we're deserving of the love that we wa...

"I saw a quote on Instagram once and it read something like, a man will unconsciously do something once and it will have you moving differently for the rest of your life, and this episode really showcases that", says host Harpo. In this episode, she unpacks the ways in which men have unconsciously touched her and how it has forced her to move differently in life. Whether it's a friend touching her...

Despite all the trials and tribulations that her love life has brought her, host Harpo has experienced a lot of growth in her journey through romantic relationships. One of them is a situationship that Harpo fondly remembers as her best situationship. bell hooks has taught us that relationships require more than just love. There's a long list of ingredients that a relationship must have in order t...

Harpo's worst date-- plot twist there's two! In this episode, host Harpo shares two of her most ridiculous first dates. In reflecting back on both of them, she realized many things: she had a hunch and didn't follow it, should've been bold enough to leave, and that she wishes she never goes on a bad date again. Tune in to hear how hilariously ridiculous the dates were and what Harpo is doing diffe...

Raise your hand if you've ever told someone, "I think we should just be friends" instead of just ending the relationship. We've all been there. Instead of just telling someone it's over, we chicken out and pivot towards friendship. But what happens when you constantly sign up to be friends with people you still have feelings for? We know-- resentment, hurt feelings, and a whole lot of pain. In thi...

Most of us received a subpar sex education-- both at school and at home. There's tons that we didn't learn about sex and what a disservice! In this episode, host Harpo cites 10 things that she didn't learn about sex. The episode is real, raw, and does not use a pseudo word for sex, which is a big moment in the history of brown girls. How many things out of Harpo's 10 did you also not learn?! ...

The infamous question: when are you getting married? Host Harpo has just about had it with being asked that question. No matter the age you're asked that question, it's inappropriate, invasive, and incredibly loaded. The reason being? The pipeline from not being allowed to even look at boys to being asked when you're going to marry one is a wild one. Tune in to hear how Harpo's journey with that p...

What would life be like if your teenage self knew better boundaries? Probably a lot different than right now. In this episode, host Harpo chats about the radical act of asking her loved ones for space. She reveals that asking for space felt foreign and alien as a brown girl, as so much of her life was spent giving people too much access to herself. Tune in to see how Harpo is asking for space, set...

If you thought mean girls, you guessed right! In this episode, host Harpo talks about her experience with mean girls-- but in high school and now as an adult. We're going to meet many mean girls in our lives. Sometimes, we might even be the mean girls. How can we start cutting out the crusty energy of mean girls in our lives? You'll have to listen to find out.  Like BGG? Connect with us on In...

Raise your hand if you weren't allowed to cut your hair, shave your legs, or use a tampon growing up. Brown girlies everywhere unite! In this episode, host Harpo talks about all the things she and the brown girls in her life weren't allowed to do growing up. What she realizes in all of that is that seeking permission to modify your body creates a very disembodied life. It means the ownership of yo...

The age old question. What do you want to be when you grow up? This week Harpo is joined by BGG producer Jeevan Sangha to talk about how their answers to that very question has changed throughout their lives. They talk about the confusion, anxiety and excitement around pursuing unconventional career paths and explaining it to their families. They touch on everything from their “I don’t know” momen...

Being you is being cool. Trust us. In this episode, host Harpo shares a story about her favourite teacher from high school, Ms. Johnson. In a world where high school breeds conformity and looking like everyone else, Harpo saw her favourite teacher embrace individuality. She was bold, colourful, fiery and fun-- a stark contrast to how Harpo felt when she was in high school. Tune in and listen to se...

High school crushes are so fun. They're innocent and cute and the best when they make you giddy and blush. In this episode, host Harpo talks about her many high school crushes and all the ways she tried to garner their attention. What she reveals is that a lot of the boy-crazy, attention-seeking tendencies she had in high school have followed her into adulthood. How is she navigating the craze and...

You know 13 Going on 30, but do you know 25 going on 15?! Now you do! In this episode, host Harpo takes us back to 15 when we first experienced our first puberty-- the awkwardness, discomfort, confusion, and all the scaries. She then brings us back to 25, where she says she's experiencing a "second puberty" as she navigates life without the birth control pill for the first time in years. This epis...

Definition: a girl who is super chill, doesn't rock the boat, and someone who "isn't like other girls". She's one of the guys. She also makes herself super uncomfortable because sometimes, being "cool" comes at the expense of countering her own needs and wants. It comes at the expense of not honouring what she truly thinks. In this episode, host Harpo speaks to the Cool Girl Syndrome that started...

Ah. The first kiss. Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. No matter what age you have your first kiss, it can be a nerve-wracking, anxious, butterfly in your stomach experience. In this episode, host Harpo shares the story of her first kiss, one that she safe-guarded for a very long time. She mentions that during her first kiss, she had no idea what to do. In chronicling her experience wit...

Reverse parenting or parentification is the process of role reversal whereby a child is obliged to act as a parent to their own parent or sibling. When this happens, the innocent childhood we were entitled to is robbed, causing adverse effects that stick with us for the rest of our lives. We can, however learn how to undo the harm caused by parentification by committing to our healing. In this epi...

Whether you're a drinker or not, a lover of wine or gin, or the pre-game bartender for all your friends, this episode is for you. Conversations around brown women and drinking are super important and this podcast episode offers a take that you might not have previously heard. How can we go beyond a conversation around alcohol and choice for brown women? How can we examine our relationships with al...

Hyper-independence is a trait too many brown girls and women know. And know too well. Often, our family structures force us to be hyper-independent right from our childhood, and then it ends up carrying into our adulthood. We might've been told we were really mature for our age, received compliments on our emotional intelligence, and told we were good leaders as children but did you grow up and re...

Friend break ups suck, just as much as romantic break ups, if not more. Sometimes, friend breakups can cause greater heartbreak than romantic relationships, simply because of the level of intimacy expressed and shared in platonic friendships. bell hooks says that "deep, abiding friendships are the place where many women know lasting love." What happens when those friendships get uprooted and force...

Who were the women that became our mothers? What were they like before the world happened to them? In this episode, I share a powerful and funny story about the woman. that became my mother. I've committed myself to seeing my mother in her totality, as both a human being and a woman, and not just my mother. In this episode, I speak to the guilt that shows up in trying to honour my mother and her s...