Bring Me The Axe! Horror Podcast

This week Dave and Bryan marvel at what is ostensibly the most egregious horror movie sequel of all time, a movie so lazy, so craven that it's hard to believe that it exists at all. When a greedy producer got his hands on the sequel rights to the original Silent Night Deadly Night he intended to have an entire movie made by simply editing the original into something new but director Lee Harry, a p...

Bryan and Dave go north for a look at The Christmas Martian, an utterly deranged Quebecois children's movie about unsupervised children in a remote Quebec town and the adult man from Mars who in any other context would be understood to be grooming this brother and sister. It's a film that was intended to be whimsical and zany but being the product of Tales For All producer, Rock Demers, it all jus...

To unlock the full episode go to Patreon and subscribe at the $5 level to unlock all of our X-Files episodes as well as Radio Free Haddonfield our bi-weekly DJ and music show. This week we take a trip back to October 1, 1993 for the fourth episode of The X-Files. Mulder and Scully face off against the shadowy forces of the National Security Agency while searching for a missing teenager who may hav...

Bryan and Dave go Belgian this week for a look at the extremely artsy vampire sleeper, Daughters of Darkness. Where Jess Franco and Jean Rollin both released signature lesbian vampire movies in 1971, Harry Kumel snuck in and delivered his own interpretation of sleazy euro-trash horror through the lens of The French New Wave. The film stars the absolutely radiant Delphine Seyrig and her many outrag...

Bryan and Dave take a look at one of the deepest of cult movie deep cuts, The Beaver Trilogy by Trent Harris, a story about fame, guilt, and Olivia Newton John. It's the story of a chance encounter with a strange young man one day in Beaver, Utah in 1979 that came to determine the entire trajectory of its director's life. For reasons that we'll dig into in the episode the movie is a document of th...

To unlock the full episode go to Patreon and sign up at the $5 level to unlock all of our X-Files episodes as well as Radio Free Haddonfield, our bi-weekly DJ and music show. This week we look at the first proper X-Files monster of the week episode which pits Mulder and Scully against Eugene Tooms, a man who can squeeze his body through seemingly any opening in order to commit the cannibal murders...

Take a trip back in time with Bryan and Dave this week as they go black and white with this unassailable classic of the golden age of horror. It's Paramount's remarkably gritty pre-code horror movie, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, a movie meant to capitalize on and compete with the sudden popularity of Universal's 1931's horror movies, Dracula and Frankenstein. Paramount, however, takes things a bit fur...

99 Cent Rental returns from its Halloween hiatus with a Van Damme good time as we drill down to the core of the spirit of this podcast with a look at a movie so patently ridiculous and offensive that we can't fully understand how it's simultaneously so entertaining and appealing. Death Warrant represents some firsts and lasts. It's ostensibly the first movie to truly put Jean-Claude Van Damme over...

Here's a taste of our Patreon-exclusive podcast, Do You Think I'm Spooky, an X-Files Rewatch. Bi-weekly episodes (plus more goodies) are available to subscribers at the $5 tier. Subscribe today at: https://www.patreon.com/bringmetheaxepod Our inaugural episode looks at the spark that started a wildfire. The X-Files is among a treasured few TV shows from the 90's that came to define the entire deca...

Bryan and Dave are joined by their friends Jonny and Aileen from the Uy Que Horror podcast to cap off their month-long October spooky season rundown with a look at the utterly baffling horror movie misstep, Halloween 3: Season of the Witch. It's what happens when a nobody really wants to make a movie but they have to anyway. John Carpenter and Debra Hill agreed to get involved but only if it didn'...

This week Bryan and Dave are joined by author and queer horror historian, Sean Abley for a look at a stone-cold classic of 80's horror, Poltergeist. It's out second Tobe Hooper movie in October, alone, and our third overall for 2024. Bryan talks about how this movie was a pivotal moment in his horror movie adolescence. Dave maps the paranormal investigators in the movie to their real-life paranorm...

This week Bryan and Dave get real weird with it as they take a deep dive into a movie that defined not only Wes Craven's career but Heather Langenkamp and Robert Englund's. Just when everyone thought that the slasher movie was dead on arrival, along comes Freddy Krueger to give it a powerful shot in the arm. Where slashers of the past felt like hangovers of the 1970's, pretenders to the Michael My...

This week Bryan and Dave kick off their Spooky Season '24 series with a look at one of the all-time greatest horror movie heavy hitters, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre from director Tobe Hooper. Dave counts the human cost of making movies on a tiny budget, going over the notoriously rancid production history of a movie made in the dog days of a Texas summer on a set using real food and animal carcas...

Take a trip to Italy with Bryan and Dave this week as they put a little garlic on it and talk about Michele Soavi's ambitious, absolutely mesmerizing but ultimately frustrating, Cemetery Man (also known as Dellamorte Dellamore). Adapted from the novel by weirdo Italiano extraordinaire, Tiziano Sclavi, Cemetery Man is also a backdoor adaptation of the wildly successful comic book series, Dylan Dog....

Bryan and Dave take a trip back to Japan for their Toho 3-in-a-ro-ho, looking at 1977's psychedelic haunted house freakout by Nobuhiko Obayashi, House (Hausu if you're nasty). You'll see a young woman be eaten by a piano, a grown man get turned into a pile of bananas, a flying severed head biting girls on the butt. This movie has everything! It's recognizably a horror movie by a director who strad...

Bryan and Dave are joined this week for their episode celebrating Latin American History Month by Dracula enthusiast, Michael Varrati! Long thought of as a lost movie, the fully restored version of Dracula, produced in tandem with Tod Browning's version with Spanish-speaking actors, the movie is practically the same film with some key differences which have, since its restoration in the 90's, caus...

It's Friday the 13th so here's a bonus episode about Friday the 13th... Part 2. In this episode Bryan struggles with his conflicted opinions on this movie and Dave turns him to the dark side with his position that Friday Part 2 just isn't a very good movie. It IS the movie that gave us Jason despite that part of the story making any sense and it also has a heaping spoonful of 80's misogyny. Great...

We close out our two part examination of the Godzilla/King Ghidorah beef with a close look at the Heisei era movie where Americans from the future presume to travel back in time and destroy Japan with a monstrous weapon and then force what's left over to conform to their political and economic interests. This time around the America/Japan relationship is bopped real hard on the nose. We also discu...

We are joined once again by our friends Ash Kelley and Alaina Urquhart from Morbid to break down and diagram the greatest slasher movie of the 90's, one of the greatest horror movies of all time, Scream. It's a rare treat when a director comes along and changes the direction of an entire genre but to do it once a decade starting in the 1970's? Unheard of. And yet, Wes Craven pulled it off. Adapted...

Join us this week as we take a trip to Japan to talk Godzilla. This is the movie that introduced the world to Godzilla's arch-nemesis, Ghidorah, the floppiest golden dragon the world has ever seen. We also get short changed on Mothra, are delighted by those little fairy ladies who summon her, and can't help but talk shit about Rodan, one of the least compelling Godzilla monsters out there. You'll...

Celebrate 50 episodes of scares, questionable taste, and Simpsons references with us as we put the lotion in the basket for a giant-sized analysis of one of the most titanic horror movies of the 1990's or maybe even of all time as we break down Jonathan Demme's iconic The Silence of the Lambs. We're all about Ted Levine's Buffalo Bill, Jodie Foster's Clarice Starling, and Sir Anthony Hopkins's Han...

This week, Bryan and Dave are joined by Jonny Atkinson of Uy Que Horror to talk He-Man as they take a real deep dive into the movie that drove the final nail into the Cannon Group's coffin, Masters of the Universe. We discuss the movie's enduring status as a cult film against all odds, the intense nostalgia high of a movie that seems to have gotten better with age, the utterly bonkers history of t...

This week, Bryan and Dave face down the blandest notions of the 1990's with I Know What You Did Last Summer, ostensibly the first of the craven 90's Scream cash-ins, written and produced by Scream's very own Kevin Williamson. It's a movie that really takes its sweet time getting around to the mystery where four beautiful 90's young people, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze Jr., Sarah Michelle G...

Bryan and Dave conclude their John Carpenter double feature with a look at his first proper feature, Assault on Precinct 13 a movie so egregiously ripped off by other action movies that it hardly matters that Carpenter ripped it off of other action movies. Seeking to make a proper western in the style of his favorite Howard Hawks movies but pressed by budget, Carpenter lifted moves from his then b...

This week Bryan and Dave go long on one of their shared favorites, John Carpenter's first fertile footsteps into the 1980's, the decade that would come to define his entire career and he couldn't have made a bolder announcement of his arrival than with this subdued ghost story, told in the old campfire tales. It's equal parts gothic spooks and EC Comics style ghoulish horror, a tale of revenge fro...