Born in the Eighties

Man, can I get a look at that Zune? I want one SOO BAD.  You can download and watch episodes of MTV's Jackass on that thing? So cool. I need one of those.

Ever feel like you just can't get ahead?  Fighting for others over scraps?  Pushing and pulling yourself to get on top, but you never can?  That is capitalism, that is the bucket.  Fuck the bucket.

If you ever want to know about anyone, just check them out on wikipedia and ctrl+f "allegations".  Simple, easy, you will thank me later.  That is all, hail saint death.

It is so easy to be woke.  All you have to do is infer progressive politics and ideals, without actually physically showing any of those things.  Yaaskween so woke, Disney so woke, Marvel so woke.

The name of a cool new grunge-wave indie band, or something more sinister? You decide.

The hawk man is back.  Will you be able to be a protagonist worthy of the alien god, Anthony Hawk?  Will you get into trouble in Europe?  What is Chad Muska doing now anyway?

Money ruins people.  Never trust a rich person.  Always beware of an erect recess, and those people who only watch college basketball.  Also, Black Lives Matter.

The synth is pumping, the Batman is Pattinson, the Riddler is Jigsaw, and the scene is Miami 1984.  This is the Batman movie that we deserve, but not the one we need right now.

If you want nut.com, you better have some serious dough to hand over.  Nut.net seems much more affordable.  If you pick up one of those domains, maybe then your Senpai will notice you.  Good Luck!

Would you poo in the Subaru?  Even if dad asks?  We fuck around with snapchat filters far too much, talk about... tributes, tik tok, and whole lot more.

TJ is job hunting, Jon dreams of his own private arcade, Matt asks you please not to fuck with fairies, and Spanky continues to be a proud homeowner. Let's kill the moon together!

What the hell is going on in Wyoming?  This is like watching a car chase live on televison.  It is so scary but you can't look away, and you hope that nobody gets hurt.

Psst.  Hey buddy, I got a great investment for ya.  2 words... Soup Tube.  Imagine it... clam chowder running under the city streets, piping hot directly to your home.  Can I interest you in a subscription?

Just as TJ completes his car shopping, Jon ponders buying a fleet of Ford 500's.  Spanky has some problems with Twitter, Matt wonders if Kanye is OK, and we all find a 2020 candidate to get  behind!

Have you ever eaten a poison salad?  Well Jon has tasted the sweet deadly poison of Sunflower Bacon Crunch.  TJ cannot stop it with the Kingdom Sharts, Spanky's cat continues his incontinence, and Matt enjoys his new Nintendo Switch.

Look, we aren't experts on anything really, so why should you listen to us?  Because Jon finally snagged a ringfit adventure?  Because Matt bought a Nintendo Switch?  Or that we watched episodes 15-20 of Avatar, the Last Airbender?  We are no experts, but, here are our unsolicited opinions on these topics.

This is our agenda, to attack and dethrone god.  We also chat about the PS5 reveal event, as well as the various bits of civil unrest happening in the worst year ever. #BLM 

I don't care whether or not they fund the drug trade, they taste great!  TJ's taco mirabell rice experiment has concluded, Spanky and Jon have thoughts.  Matt caused our guild to explode again, and we recap episodes 11-14 of Avatar the Last Airbender.

Maybe it is all the listerine and soda pop he is drinkin, but if you got a leaky gut, you are gonna have a leaky butt.  We continue talkin Avatar, herbal teas that make you poop, rocksmith on PC, and games that aren't world of warcraft.

The gang talks about comfort TV, working at a Pizza Inn, some small town google reviews, TJ bites a can, Jon rants about Quibi, and we all hate on Roseanne.  This is part one of the Bite Book Club (BBC) for Avatar: the Last Airbender (Episodes 1-5)

Matt has his gamer chair, TJ is toothless, and Jon wants a big boy chair to call his own.  We attempt to navigate the pandemic ravaged online shopping sites, and talk a little world of warcraft classic too.

You want some hot wet Mcdonalds?  Well, we tried it so you don't have to.  We also dip our toes into the insane world of the cereal mascot cinematic universe.  Hold on to your bussy and tune on in!

Does your cheesecake clap?  Is it thicc enough?  You could make a cheesecake in a rice cooker, or you could make a McMiracle.

Do you have 1200 dollars in bitcoin?  Then your self pleasure video will be sent to 5 random contacts unless you pay us.  This is definitely real.

Well, we are all working from home now.  How many of us are drinking from home too?