Boodaism

I never thought I’d have to say this — but art is not the notes in a song, it’s not the colors on a canvas and it’s not the words on a page. Art is a direct and intimate expression of the human experience. If you take the human out of the art, it’s not […] The post Rage Against the AI Machine appeared first on Boodaism .

I know what it's like, to put my heart in a box. The post Heart-Shaped Box appeared first on Boodaism .

Since publishing My Thoughts on ISTA last fall, the most common follow-up question I got is some version of “Can these types of experiences be done in a healthy way?” It’s an important question to consider, and a complicated question to answer. While ISTA (International School of Temple Arts) has many unique problems and harm […] The post Ethical Ecstasy: Can We Combine Intensity and Integrity? ap...

What’s up with ISTA? That simple question has driven me to devote an unreasonable amount of time and energy trying to come up with a good answer. Sitting here now, many years into that journey, I’m actually a little embarrassed about how much attention I’ve given this research project I didn’t realize I signed up […] The post My Thoughts on ISTA appeared first on Boodaism .

“I need you.” That’s a scary thing to say to someone, especially when it’s true. For many of us humans in modern, western civilization — realizing that we need to intimately involve other people in our imperfect, un-photoshopped lives is a frightening thing. So we avoid it. We live alone, we eat alone, we sleep […] The post We Fucking Need Each Other appeared first on Boodaism .

Gather round my digital friends, I’m going to tell you about a time ,  a beautiful and innocent time, when the internet made people happy. Long, long ago, before large corporations started buying up parts of the internet, and before sites like medium.com turned all the bloggers into employees, there was a time when individuals owned […] The post I miss blogs. appeared first on Boodaism .

I can relate to narcissists. I love attention, I often overestimate myself, and I enjoy it when I am the topic of conversation. I’m going to talk about how to deal with narcissists, but I’m going to expand that definition beyond people with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), and speak generally about certain kinds of people. […] The post You Can’t Be Nice to a Narcissist appeared first on Bo...

I took a break this year. For those of you who have been following this site, you’ll notice that sometime around the end of June I took a break from publishing every week. It wasn’t totally intentional, but it felt right. Up until that point I had been consistently posting every week since December 2014 […] The post Back in the Saddle: 2018 Annual Review appeared first on Boodaism .

Write something true. That’s my mantra. When I’m feeling blocked I pause and remind myself of this. Write the truth. Not the ultimate truth — just something that feels true, something authentic. That’s what writing is for me, a chance to admit the truth in a space where no one will judge me, hate me […] The post Tell the Truth appeared first on Boodaism .

I just wanted to shake his hand. Here was a man I learned so much from, that answered so many of my questions about “being a man”, and I just wanted to meet him and say “your book meant a lot to me” — but there were rules. It was 2011, and I was at […] The post Before You Read ‘The Way of the Superior Man’ Read This appeared first on Boodaism .

I’m a systems thinker, which means I spend a lot of time trying to understand the root of a problem, rather than dealing with it’s symptoms. When we attempt to solve problems without first understanding the system that created them, it’s like bailing out a leaking boat. It may provide temporary relief, but the problem […] The post The Surprising Foundation of Every Great Relationship appeared firs...

It’s the year 2030, and in the western world, turning to a coach for life’s challenges is as common as 1-hour drone delivery from Amazon. It’s easy, it solves our problem and we don’t mind paying a little extra for the convenience. In fact, in 2030 we have more resources than ever, and nearly everyone […] The post The Day Life Coaches Replaced Best Friends appeared first on Boodaism .

When all the websites have been built,When all the funding has been sought. When all the companies have been sold,When all the Teslas have been bought. When all the charities have been started,When all the employees have been hired. When all the dreams have been fulfilled,When all the people have been inspired. When all the books have […] The post To My Overachieving Friends, Whom I Love Dearly [P...

I’ve come to know what I call the “millennial applause” and it’s creepy as hell. Aside from being a snarky blogger on the internet, I play music 3-4 nights a week at local bars and clubs and I’ve been doing it since college. Since my job is to engage the audience, I basically stand in […] The post Art Isn’t Dead, We Are appeared first on Boodaism .

Leave the campsite better than you found it. That’s the “campsite” rule, coined by Dan Savage and practiced by responsible lovers everywhere. It’s a pledge to leave people in as good a state (physically and emotionally) as you found them.1 As someone who sleeps with a lot of people — often people who have less […] The post What It Means To “Leave Someone Better Than You Found Them” appeared first...

Last year I watched the moon pass in front of the sun, and the moment when the sky went dark, I became speechless. Like many people who came to watch the solar eclipse, I thought I knew what was going to happen. Pretty simple, right? The moon passes in front of the sun, and the […] The post Everyone Believes in God appeared first on Boodaism .

You don’t have time for art,But art has time for you. She’s like a friend who’s downFor whatever you want to do. Art is not a contestThere are no judges to be had,And all your feelings are welcomeBe them happy, angry or sad. Your job is not perfection,We’re not so good at that. Your job is just […] The post You Don’t Have Time for Art appeared first on Boodaism .

I’m a walking contradiction. On one hand I believe in self-expression and sharing your opinions, even when they make other people uncomfortable. That’s what Boodaism is all about. On the other hand, my heart breaks when something I say makes someone feel bad or limits our ability to feel close to each other. Even if […] The post Loving All The Parts appeared first on Boodaism .

Here’s a statement everyone would agree with — the more time you spend with people that bring you joy, the more joyful your life will be. And yet — I meet people all the time who feel undernourished and frustrated with this area of their life. When I ask, “why don’t you spend more time […] The post Why Nerds Are Happier appeared first on Boodaism .

I am completely repulsed by needy behavior in relationships. I’m the kind of person that needs a lot of space — and when I say “space”, I don’t mean once in a while we go out with friends, I mean a default setting of autonomy, with frequent and wonderful periods of togetherness. That may sound […] The post The Difference Between Having Needs & Being Needy appeared first on Boodaism .

“Life is simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”~ Confucious  When I think about the way I travel, I’m not surprised at how simple my set up is, I’m surprised as how complicated it is for everyone else. In many ways, minimalism has made me an outcast. There’s almost no material possession you can […] The post 2018 Ultra-Light Travel Guide: My Gear & Mindset appeared first on Boodaism .

I have a question for you. If you could start a relationship with the hottest man or woman in your city, would you? Let’s say you live in New York and you’re a straight man and you were able to meet the collectively agreed upon most attractive woman in the city. Would you want her […] The post The Reason It’s So Hard To Find Happy Relationships on Dating Apps appeared first on Boodaism .

I’m a liberal — at least that’s what people call me. Truth be told I don’t like labels or political identities, I think the democratic party is fundamentally flawed and I’m socially progressive and fiscally conservative. But for the purposes of this essay, it’s fair to say I’m diggin’ the scene with a liberal lean. […] The post The Problem with Liberalism (From a Liberal Perspective) appeared firs...

Being alone is easy, but being lonely takes effort. We’re social animals, which means we like to be in groups. Yes, even that person who loves posting introvert porn on Facebook still has friends and enjoys gatherings of like-minded people from time to time. In the same way that headaches let us know we might […] The post 17 Creative Ways To Be Lonely appeared first on Boodaism .

Have you ever tried bailing out a boat you didn’t know was leaking? You see some water in the bottom of the boat, and you think “hey, I’ll get this water out”, so you grab a bucket and start bailing. Then you notice the water starts to fill up again. So you bail it out, […] The post How Modern Marriage Is Making Us Lonely appeared first on Boodaism .