Bold Becoming

Thirty-seven-year-old Elena Joy Thurston was a married mother of four living in Gilbert, Arizona. She was also Mormon, choosing to join the religion when she was sixteen. She loved all the checkboxes she could check off that would make her good in the eyes of God, and the promise of an eternal family. She was a model mom involved in school, church and community activities. Until she had to take ca...

Terina Maldonado’s identity formation was thwarted in childhood through a cascade of intertwining factors. She took on parental responsibilities, endured child abuse and her father had narcissistic personality AND bipolar disorders. She was forced to adapt to survive. Layered on top of that was living within the norms of the Mormon church. Until one day she discovered a lie in the historical teach...

Miriam is a high achiever. She went through medical school. Twice. She has a non-stop “GO!” button for earning any title or diploma dangled in front of her. She’s also altruistic. But she didn’t see that she was leaving herself and her family behind while helping others. Until her 7-year-old’s wake up call — “Mom, why did you have me if your phone is more important?” Miriam’s priorities didn’t fit...

On the bathroom floor, high achiever Hannah Austin was contemplating suicide. Twenty years as an executive in the healthcare industry had sucked her dry. Knowing self-care inside and out, she wasn’t implementing it and burnout almost took her out. In the solitude of the bathroom a voice said two words that saved her. Find out how Hannah pulled herself up and began taking care of herself, including...

Michelle was ostracized by her peers and held back in kindergarten. She struggled with learning, understanding, physical coordination and social interaction. Luckily, she was diagnosed with learning differences and got lots of needed support. But that didn’t stop kids and others from treating her as dumb, and she internalized that identity. And, ambition didn’t let her stop chasing her dreams. Hea...

Trevor not only survived two traumatic brain injuries, he also became a medical doctor. At age 13, apart from the TBI and its impact on memory and eyesight, Trevor suffered a broken pelvis, numerous broken vertebrae, and his legs were paralyzed. He had to learn to walk, talk and read again. His prognosis was that he might be able to work greeting people at Walmart. He blew that prognosis to smithe...

When Krystalore Crews met and married the love of her life, she was in a leadership role in the military. She’d joined to help with the cost of college, right after 9-11. A high achiever, she steadily moved up the ranks. But when her husband got transferred to a new state, Krystalore’s life fell apart. She left everything and everyone behind, including her status role. Answering the “So, what do Y...

Dr. Pam was living her best life, super duper happily married for 18 years, engaged in satisfying work lifting people up. But in 2019, a series of events turned her world upside down, delivering mortality motivation on the scale of shock treatments. Her husband died. She had a traumatic brain injury (TBI) (and didn’t die…). Then open heart surgery, with a near death moment recovering from that. An...

Christy had an identity transition when her aging parents needed caregiving. She became a sandwich generation mom. Her mom used to be her pillar of support. She helped with the grandkids while Christy and her husband worked full-time. But when signs of concern became too noticeable to ignore, Christy took on the role of protecting her parents’ wellbeing. She describes the journey of becoming and s...

With a suicidal mother, Bart Milatz’s identity got nipped in the bud. Parenting responsibilities for his younger siblings expropriated his childhood. Eighteen years old and on a plane to Australia, Bart felt free for the first time. He left behind the “empty, no identity, in prison,” version of himself. He began discovering who was under that burden, including exploring and embracing being gay. Un...

TRIGGER WARNING — this interview describes an active shooter scene. Laura Hanson struggled with identity loss from day one in life. She was adopted. Her family gave her the best life they could, but they couldn’t fill the black hole of anguish and despair where abandonment lived. As a young girl she suffered immensely, using the only coping methods she knew of. At 22 she became a police officer, a...

Kreed was a kind and generous person. With the intention of serving and protecting, she became a police officer. But two quick years of service turned her into a suspicious and angry person. Her wife gave her an ultimatum — “Me or your job” — and Kreed chose her wife. After no longer having power over others, it took years for Kreed to find out who she was without that. But when her wife left her...

The worst day of her dad’s life was when Amy told him she wasn’t going to become a doctor. Coming from a family of wildly respected doctors, she was slated to carry on the tradition. Instead, Amy became a weaver. She never told her dad why she decided against medical school. But she thought it would contribute to her problem with headaches. Regardless, Amy’s headaches got worse and she finally sto...

In 2010, Marie was a high functioning, ambitious woman in her mid 30’s. Married with two kids and working full time outside the home, she venerated her super power — math. But things in the marriage weren’t going so well and at work, she was asked to do unethical things with numbers. Then on March 3rd, her life went over a cliff. Marie had a mental breakdown and became disabled and dependent on he...

Brandon Laughinghouse lost himself to grief. Happily married, his business growing by leaps and bounds, and his dad — his rock — dies. Then his mom. Then his sister. Grief, depression and ADD took over and he didn’t know who he was anymore. He couldn’t look at himself in the mirror or spend time with family the way he wanted. He burned out on his job and became so scattered he couldn’t even write...

In an extra frisky moment, Gail Boenning’s sweet puppy jumped up and bumped her chest. That’s how she found out she had breast cancer. But while her diagnosis and treatment is one hell of an experience, she gets an A+ with how she’s handling it. Still in treatment, even during these tenuous moments, she's able to say it’s been a gift. Learn how Gail’s generosity and contribution put her in the dri...

Complacency gets cracked open when one’s mortality is on the line. Often when confronted with death, life becomes more vivid, valuable, even extraordinary. We start seeing what we’ve overlooked and taken for granted. We become grateful for everyday things and if lucky, find where joy resides. That’s what happened to Robert Pardi and his young wife Desiree during their 11 years with metastatic brea...

Who do you become when you believe that every family physically, psychologically, emotionally and sexually abuses their children? Who do you become when you’re a 4, 5 and 6-year-old being threatened with murder if you’re gay? Who do you become when you grow up in a white, US neighborhood, your ancestral roots are Amazonian and Euro-Latin American, but you’re told that has nothing to do with who yo...

How do you reclaim your identity if it was nipped in the bud by age one? And then ground into dust at age 4? If you never knew who you were to reclaim in the first place because survival meant becoming someone you weren’t? Heidi Henyon’s childhood was filled with developmental traumas, including child sexual abuse. She doesn’t go into detail about what happened, but rather discusses trauma’s many...

Juxtaposition is the best description of Mark Matthews’ early childhood. His mother smothered with love and protection. And his parents were managing hell on earth. They had one son in prison for a violent crime. Another was 100% disabled with cerebral palsy. And they were both rotting in the bowels of addiction. But when he was nine his mom died. As Mark coped with his status change, he now...

Shuli Elisheva was a transphobic, homophobic Orthodox Jewish man. Except she wasn’t a man. Except she was in a man’s body. Married to a Jewish female rabbi and the main caretaker for their child, to the outside world she was successful. But inside, things were all mixed up. All her life, until she transitioned into a woman’s body, when she looked in the mirror she didn’t see herself. Then she knew...

“I felt like an 8-year-old that someone brought in from Kyrgyzstan and put it in an adult body, and it was asked to perform all the adult duties.” Nurzhan (pronounced  Nurjan ) Sterbenz lost her sh*t when she arrived in the USA for her graduate program. At home, she was a confident 21-year-old high achiever. She never could have  fathomed  how unprepared she would be for studying ab...

On 9/11, Inez Ribustello was a happy 25-year-old who’d never had anything really big and bad happen in her life. At 22, she’d found her “forever job” at Windows, which was like a tight knit family. It was on the 107th story of One World Trade Center. Inez wasn't at work on 9/11. She was at a wedding in her hometown in South Carolina. At first, she wished that  she’d  died, as hard as it...

Glynis German lost her identity upon taking on the role of motherhood. She regained her bearings and raised two happy and kind sons. Adjusting to the separation from her husband, she preempted the empty nest syndrome. She learned early on how to live apart from her children. Now with them in their 20’s, she enjoys her close connection with them and is preparing for one son to go away to college. L...

Boog Highberger, despite his nickname, was a pretty regular guy. He had his high school sweetheart. He was above average in smarts. He wanted to be liked and have friends. He loved playing baseball. But one winter day, on the way to watch basketball, his life changed forever. He and his friends stopped to take advantage of a snowdrift, back in the days when it still snowed in Kansas. His friend ju...