BiD: Break it Down • Gilmore Girls

Original Air Date: April 13, 2004 BiD Recording Date: August 25, 2024 No it’s National Baptism day. Tie your tubes, idiot. B&D go back in time to spring break 2004. Not much has changed since then, though. Cate Culture still reigns supreme, cooling down vs. warming up remains a debate, twincest continues to not be hot. Eternally grateful for their time in the dorms, and the comedic gift that i...

Original Air Date: March 2, 2004 BiD Recording Date: August 7, 2024 I was in the middle of the word ‘September’!” B&D are here to tackle the hot-button issues in life: intolerable catch phrases, funeral no-shows, sainthood (or not) for the dead, old furniture smell and where on earth the Turkish come from. They identify some new Privileges (Chest, Pretty Girl), shout out SATC and early-00’s ch...

Original Air Date: February 24, 2004 BiD Recording Date: August 2, 2024 What’s with the gay bag? B&D keep it in the family as they welcome her sister Felicia to go window shopping with the Gilmores. She seamlessly weighs in on the fast talking, early-00’s fashion, meddling mothering, tearful college goodbyes, and mustaches. See ya at the mall, Felicia! Pop Tart Pause: Pretzels

Original Air Date: February 14, 2004 BiD Recording Date: July 26, 2024 Every now and then, just for a moment, I wish I had a partner. B&D applaud what resonates with them: horses, Tom, 03-04 Celine, relaxing hair washes, and voice memos. Conversely, insert raspberry sound for what doesn’t resonate with them: sniff-crying, the impenetrable baby excuse, WB sexy, and “underconsumption-core.” This...

Original Air Date: February 10, 2004 BiD Recording Date: July 18, 2024 If I was a girl, I wouldn’t kick him outta bed. After some appreciations for young RDJ and conspiracy theories about Jess and the broken window, B&D draw connections between Stars Heights and Washington Hollow. Briana has plenty to despise: Liz’s wardrobe and voice, moms giving exes intel, and Rory’s running. Meanwhile, Dan...

Original Air Date: February 3, 2004 BiD Recording Date: July 12, 2024 Would a comedic reply crush you? B&D have reached the halfway point! Briana and her post-acupuncture FroYo call in from an Eagle Rock parking spot, while Danny plays casting director with his cheap HoCho. They mull on the evolution of casting, characters from different worlds interacting, and Broke Ass Ho Life. No one is cal...

Original Air Date: January 27, 2004 BiD Recording Date: July 1, 2024 Very few people in life listen to what anyone says anyhow - it’s all about volume. One-time laundromat stud Danny thinks it’s more controverSIAL that Briana has not seen The Witches of Eastwick than it is that she still hasn’t scissored. Bad hats, Jewish customs, carved out books, braid-created kinky hair - these ingredients alon...

Original Air Date: January 20, 2004 BiD Recording Date: June 25, 2024 Then she tickled his tummy and he giggled. It was foul. Long before Gilmore girls explored “culs-de-sac,” Mariah Carey expanded a young Danny’s vocabulary. If only other gays, like nemeses Michel & Tobin and limp-wristed Jason, had been so blessed. Briana (aka Lady Two Baths) has her own choice words on “I’s,” Paris’ wardrob...

Original Air Date: November 18, 2003 BiD Recording Date: June 11, 2024 I like that boy. Prove it, drop your pants. After a few days together in NYC, B&D are in sync. Approved: someone you like doing anything they want, Jason maybe being bi, multiple meanings for DAR. Unacceptable: “sheh-dule,” “toe-mah-toe,” “almost mommy.” Watch out, Pendulum and Archer! Pop Tart Pause: Fig Newtons

Original Air Date: November 11, 2003 BiD Recording Date: June 3, 2024 Die, jerk. Bye, jerk. On the anniversary of L&L’s ill-fated wedding, B&D welcome Danny Strong - and Lauren Graham’s unparalleled “awkward acting.” They explore the pronunciation of “bagel” and “folk,” dismiss baby talk (and babies for many), and reflect fondly on white board messages. Hey Scooper! Pop Tart Pause: Tea and...

Original Air Date: November 4, 2003 BiD Recording Date: May 26, 2024 I’m a weeble. And weebles wobble. For this EMMY-WINNING episode, B&D cover coupons, plastic sheets, made for TV movies, Shakey’s, and Skid Row. They clarify what is not their middle aged woman fantasy, avoid chunky bars and chunky bangs, flaunt knowledge about that Final Dinner, and wholeheartedly agree on the most Emmy-worth...

Original Air Date: October 28, 2003 BiD Recording Date: May 16, 2024 Balls are funny. B&D never question the hilarity of balls, but do have other burning inquiries. Is Jason really “young”? Does he look like anyone we know? Does any food actually turn you on? Why is Rory’s tree thief straight out of 1986? Is Emily protecting Richard, or herself? Will the 2004 Dicktionary remain timeless? Pop T...

Original Air Date: October 21, 2003 BiD Recording Date: May 9, 2024 Uh, Vain Party, table of one! People suck - on trains, re: waking up early, not washing hands after peeing. Fortunately Briana has not one, but TWO Dannys to get through being “heartsick” with. Presumably. Pop Tart Pause:  Urine Mints

Original Air Date: October 14, 2003 BiD Recording Date: April 28, 2024 You think I labeled myself The Pretty Spinster? B&D flex their French accents and Ne-Yo roots, and question why “we” are supposed to hate Lindsay (and saying “we” are pregnant). As Dean channels Brenda Chenoweth, B&D shout out the under-appreciated Under Six Feet population. Pop Tart Pause: Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate...

Original Air Date: October 7, 2003 BiD Recording Date: April 21, 2024 Once you have the baby, then you can have the cow. B&D are swimming in presumptions: about shopping for classes, aristocracy presenting as homosexuality, and naked man origin stories. They connect the dots between Gg & 6FU, being early onscreen & off, and chicken & pussy. Let’s have a cow…nowwww… Pop Tart Pause:...

Original Air Date: September 30, 2003 BiD Recording Date: April 19, 2024 Thanks for putting me in the moment. Our favorite MUM Simone is back in San Francisco, the place where B&D&S first met in dorms far less glamorous than Rory’s suite! There’s so much foreskinshadowing in this ep, but also many opportunities for reminiscing about controversial dorm-mates, showers, Evanescence, and off-t...

Original Air Date: September 23, 2003 BiD Recording Date: April 14, 2024 Nice symmetrical balls there, Joshua. Easy on the nuts! B&D kick off Season 4 with recollections of that pivotal “moving away for college” time in their lives. Briana has PSAs about city/country clumping, early bedtime, and sex vs. gender; Danny brings up a bad bangs memory and has an epiphany about Lorelai’s race.  6/22...

Original Air Date: May 20, 2003 BiD Recording Date: April 2, 2024 Pan my body real slow because I’ll never look better than I do now. Cue “Pomp and Circumstance” and the tears - Rory (and “Lorelai”) are graduating! B&D reminisce about proposals, landline threeways, and growing up in their 20’s. Shoe removal and TP in a crowd aside, let’s cheers to Season 3! 🥂 Pop Tart Pause:  Sparkling Apple...

Original Air Date: May 13, 2003 BiD Recording Date: March 30, 2024 I would marry the beach if man and property were allowed to mate. Here comes the ep Briana was dreading, and it’s…not as awful as expected?? Edward ScissorJess and insufferable/suffering Sasha are only part of this failed backdoor spinoff pilot. B&D also find BiD material in cringey dog names, jean jackets, college books &...

Original Air Date: May 6, 2003 BiD Recording Date: March 21, 2024 It’s times like these that make you realize what’s truly important in life…I’m so glad I had all that sex. This ep pays homage to great cinema of the past, including Beaches and The Graduate . It also highlights only children, Twat Jess, Mr. Ben Falcone, and the delicious flavor that is Mint. B&D: here for your entertainment, bu...

Original Air Date: April 29, 2003 BiD Recording Date: March 16, 2024 Oh it’s local distance, yeah don’t worry! B&D opt for Friday night hibernation (turn-down service not necessary) over socialization, and definitely over watching others play video games. They rebuff music snobs and modern JT, praise fight choreography and braces representation, and get to the *bottom* of Scott P’s butt trauma...

Original Air Date: April 22, 2003 BiD Recording Date: March 7, 2024 I was a little busy trying to get air to my brain cells - a burden you’ve not yet faced. B&D drop the PTP ball on this particularly food-centric ep. Nonetheless, they share fight/theme songs, weigh in on gay nemeses, endorse FriendTrips, psychoanalyze Lorelai and “Lorelai,” and wax nostalgia on Almost Famous and non-chill Camm...

Original Air Date: February 25, 2003 BiD Recording Date: February 18, 2024 You got a girl’s future in that sack of yours…Santa. Elena joins B&D for this 2003 episode that is just so 90’s! She skillfully connects the dots from Briana to Lorelai, from re-meeting Max to re-meeting her husband, and from Jess to Jack. Genitalia slang, pregnancy realizations, saran wrap, Saved by the Bell , “moted”…...

Original Air Date: April 15, 2003 BiD Recording Date: February 10, 2024 I’m Dave’s catch. I’ve already been caught. It’s a BiD first as B&D record out of order. They dive into pancake processes, how people pocket pens, choices & changes, m’am & sir, and a snoring mystery. Hug D from behind! Don’t screw in B’s bed! Pop Tart Pause: Lemon Blueberry Pancakes

Original Air Date: February 18, 2003 BiD Recording Date: February 4, 2024 Why’d you put all those P’s in soda shop? Is that supposed to be fancy or something? B&D are Face to Face for a lively Grown People BiD. Briana again recounts her TP arrest, thinks Lindsay is “perfectly pretty,” and longs to assume someone is pining for her P.  Danny loathes vague/non-plan makers but loves thick baseball...