Bible Stories for Blasphemers

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers, Balaam makes a bunch of prophecies, and we go off on a bunch of weird tangents. Then in the Pop Corner, we discuss two deeply uncomfortable religious Superbowl commercials.  Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

We got a big juicy one for y'all this week, kiddos! Strap into your high chair, put on your bib, and get ready to dig in to the delicious nonsense that is Number of Numbers, Two of Twos. For dessert we have a Pop Corner in which we explore and expand on our podcast house using our feelings. Don't miss it. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesfor...

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers, we talk about two stories: one where Moses hits a rock, and one where Moses deals with some snakes. Then in the Pop Corner, we discuss the most meta TV show that we've ever seen.   Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

Gather round dear flock, as youth pastor Dan spills all the tea of the one Bible story They don't want you to know about, and Mariah's hopes of becoming a Christian convert are dashed. Talking points include Jared from twitter, the Golden Globes, and Jerrod Carmichael's latest joke.  Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail...

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers, we return shamefully from many time-based errors with a chronologically-inaccurate episode. Then in the Pop Corner - wait, it's the Science Section this week? Okay, a lot has changed. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

Heeey, remember us?? Your favorite bible camp counselors are back! Check out this special episode where Dan shares their research on how humans across the world have celebrated the new year over time. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers, Dan talks about something in the Bible to do with numbers - a concept Mariah thought Dan would have learned a long time ago. Then in the Pop Corner, a HUGE BREAKING NEWS UPDATE and then Mariah discusses a rogue-like life sim video game she's been playing called Cult of the Lamb . Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at bi...

This week, Dan tells the entirety of the Book of Leviticus. We learn about how if you try to do something nice for God but he doesn't like it, you'll probably get smited to shit. Also, Mariah teaches Dan about the origin of the human species. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

In this week's slightly depressing episode, we finally learn the epic conclusion of Exodus. Dan tells Mariah more details about the Arc of the Covenant, God tries to abandon the Israelites but instead tells them to kill everyone, and Moses becomes shiny. If you can, please donate to the legal fund to hold the SPU board accountable: https://gofund.me/f8ef3398 Follow & DM us on Instagram @b...

This week, Dan explains to Mariah the absolutely chaos and frivolity had by the nation of Israel while Moses was on Mount Sinai. Did the Hebrews betray God to start a new bovine religion? Did Aaron indirectly cause the deaths of thousands of his own people because of peer pressure? Who are we to judge? And honestly, God, what did you expect? Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us...

This week, Dan is very tired. We talk about God's commandments for how to live, and about a very spooky and intimidating angel. Then, in the pop corner, we discuss Christian schools and, in particular, the sit-in protest at Seattle Pacific University. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

Sorry this one's late, folks! This week we tell the story of the ten commandments, and get extremely sidetracked due to our mutual lack of a science education. Then, in the pop corner, we discuss the new comedy special "Rothaniel."  Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

This week, on a tight time crunch, we tell the story of bread falling from heaven and Moses having a very tiring day for his arms. Then, in the pop corner, we talk about Bible jokes and the new Florence & the Machine album.  Find us on Twitter @BS4Blasphemers , or email us your Bible questions and corrections at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com. You can also find Dan on Twitter @DanRogland...

Egypt escape! This week we tell the story of Moses parting the Red Sea. Then, in the pop corner, we discuss why there are so many fundamentalist Christians falling for conspiracy theories.  Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

In this episode, we talk about the Passover story, and also deeply appreciate girls.  Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

We continue the story of Moses and cover the first several plagues sent to Egypt, while navigating through several unrelated tangents. Then, in the pop corner, we talk about "sword drills," devotionals, and introduce Mariah to the concept of a study Bible. This episode includes shout-outs to Dan's D&D podcast, Dial M for Magic, and to one of Mariah's favorite podcasts, Dear...

Dan continues the story of Moses and how he tried to get the pharaoh to Let His People Go. Also, Mariah becomes a Christian and invents a new branch of Christianity??? Finally, in the pop corner we discuss the tv show Severance, and why it is that the Bible is so dang useful against vampires and ghosts. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@...

We continue the story of Moses, who has an encounter with a burning bush and is chosen by God, who almost immediately turns around and tries to murder him. Then, in the Pop Corner, Mariah asks Dan to elaborate on the different types of Christian education, and we go off on a tangent about cults and the difficulty of leaving them.  Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at...

We begin the book of Exodus with the early life of Moses, a murdering Egyptian who's pretty bad at hiding the body. Then, in the Pop Corner, Dan talks about their recent trip to Hawaii and the incredibly bad decisions made by early Christian missionaries there.  Topics include: theoretical time travel; copious references to The Prince of Egypt; the extremely unpleasant story of a cockroach en...

Dan regales Mariah with the Bible's season one finale - the end of the book of Genesis! Then, in the Pop Corner, Dan enlightens Mariah with two examples of totally cool Christian Girl Bands that promoted purity culture and thought boys wanted to date girls that reminded them of their moms. Weird. Topics include: If 25 is a round number, is 1 a round number? ; Phil Collins vs Paul Simon; Jacob...

In this week's slightly bananas episode, Dan tells Mariah about the history of the Pagan holiday known as Oestara and how it informed modern traditions for Easter. Topics include: which of the Von Trapp children best fits your personality; terrifying Victorian greeting cards; and hot cross buns. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gma...

This week, Joseph orchestrates the most dramatic family reunion ever; then, in the Pop Corner, we talk about The Righteous Gemstones and evangelical megachurches. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

This week, we talk about Joseph in Egypt, his wild dream interpretation, and how he constantly ended up in charge of everything. Then, we finally come up with a name for our post-break segment. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

This week, we start the first part of the story of Joseph, the teen dreamer and big old tattletale. Then, we talk about Christian and post-Christian music! Today's episode features the song "Chicken" by Semler. Stream their music or find tour dates at  www.semlermusic.com . Find us on Twitter @BS4Blasphemers , or email us your Bible questions and corrections at biblestoriesforblasph...

This week, we tell the stories of Dinah and Tamar, two women whose male relatives were absolutely the worst. Then, we talk about why there are so many Johns.  Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com