Beyond Your Default

“Western civilization places so much emphasis on the idea of hope that we sacrifice the present moment. Hope cannot help us discover joy, peace, or enlightenment in the present moment.” — Thích Nhất Hạnh Man, has there been a topic recently on this podcast where the idea of “being present” hasn’t come up? We talked about it during our episode about the importance of recognizing and embracing the s...

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” ― Albert Camus I’m a big fan of data, and I’ll be honest. When I looked up the Google search trends for the term “how to just be happy,” I wasn’t terribly surprised by what I found – a marked increase over the past five to six years.  Why did I choose...

“If you feel stuck, move. You're not a tree.” ― Germany Kent George has always been radically honest in these episodes when we talk about topics that evoke feelings of confusion, aversion, or frustration. For example, when I first handed over the outline for our episode on self-care , he admitted that he was unsure about the topic and where it was going — even though he trusted my vision for the c...

“Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive.” – Bryant H. McGill One of the most liberating, progressive things we can do for ourselves is to let go. Let go of what? Well, it depends on the situation — anger , expectations , the need to be right, the desire for absolute control, the hunger to know every and all outcomes, disappointment, shame, guilt, sadness ... the list...

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” – Vincent Van Gogh One of George's favorite sayings that has really stuck with me is this: “How you do the small things in life is how you do all things.” Not only is that a powerful maxim we should all think about in the context of our own lives, his statement also got me thinking about the role “small things” should play in ou...

“Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to our true self and give it the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” ― Parker Palmer We've been dancing around the topic of self-care for a while now. Because, whether you're talki...

“I'm not asking you to walk in my shoes; I'd never wish my afflictions on anyone. But could you walk beside me on secure ground and reach to hold my hand?” ― Richelle E. Goodrich The concept of possessing a servant's heart has its roots in religion, specifically Christianity : "The servant’s heart means to help others in love without expecting something in return, serving in appreciation of the gi...

“You have only to rest in inaction and things will transform themselves. Smash your form and body, spit out hearing and eyesight, forget you are a thing among other things, and you may join in great unity with the deep and boundless.” ― Zhuangzi Last episode, we talked about one of the greatest challenges we all face when we go in search of true personal growth — knowing the difference between gen...

“We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions." — Brené Brown Toxic positivity is the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. Here's what's fascinating about toxic positivity though. While verbs like "avoiding," "suppressing," and "rejecting" sound overtly negative, acts toxic positivity are cloaked...

"Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday." — Wilma Rudolph Feeling like you've failed at something sucks. But how should you handle and react to that failure? That depends on who you...

If you want to accomplish anything in life — achieve audacious goals, have healthy and loving relationships, cultivate meaningful connections , or even create some peace and freakin' quiet for yourself — you need to become a master of setting boundaries. But when we say "boundaries," what do we mean? Well, we're not talking about ultimatums. We're not talking about avoidance of others. We're not t...

I did a little research and, according to "the experts," here are honest-to-goodness real recommendations of the things you should accomplish before 9 a.m.: Wake up anywhere between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m. NEVER, EVER hit snooze, only people wasting their life away hit snooze Workout at home Go to the gym Do yoga Or run three miles OR start with a mobility workout and then do a second workout of plyomet...

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year . . . It’s the hap-happiest season of all.” So says a classic song of the holiday season. But is it? A lesser known Christmas song by Dean Martin sheds a little light on what some folks — regardless of their religious affiliation — might be feeling this time of year, when commercials push family togetherness and talk of New Year's resolutions start in full...

I want to ask you a question, and I want you to answer honestly. Do you typically view life as happening to you, or do you consider yourself in control of your life, an active participant in the events that transpire? This question is the core of our discussion in this week's episode on knowing (and living) the difference between a victim's mentality and a victor's mentality in your life. The chal...

"Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations." — Earl Nightingale  The expectations we set for ourselves not only dictate what we are able to achieve, they also impact our internal personal growth, as well as our happiness. However, there is such a thing as unhealthy expectations — and the act of setting expectations for yourself is akin to c...

“I am always doing what I cannot do yet. In order to learn how to do it.” — Vincent Van Gogh Inevitably, when you have conversations about growth of any kind – personal or professional – someone will toss up the need for a "growth mindset." To achieve your dreams, you need a growth mindset. To advance in your career, you need a growth mindset. To be a great leader, you need a growth mindset. And s...

Anger, like fear , is a tricky emotion.  It's necessary. It's unavoidable. It can be directive. It can also be destructive, depending on how much we let it control our decision-making and rule our lives. What's also interesting about anger is that it is often a Trojan horse, masking what true emotional stakes are at play in a given situation: Source Whether anger is the true emotion we're feeling...

"Hold on, let me grab my notebook!" If you've listened to Beyond Your Default for any length of time, you've likely caught George and I saying this to each other during our conversations. That's because, like you, we're walking our own Beyond Your Default paths. Like you, we are doing our best each and every day to live a more meaningful, purposeful, and authentic life. We don't think of ourselves...

"Hey, I made it home safely!" I fired off that text message just before midnight on Sunday night, as my face was in a state of free-fall, hurtling at top speed toward the soft pillow on my bed. I was exhausted. After a long weekend of shenanigans and making memories out of state with a few close friends, I had finally made it back to Connecticut in one piece.  ⚡ Related: What Is Beyond Your Defau...

If you've spent any time in entrepreneurial or startup culture circles, the concept of "adopting an owner's mentality" is likely not new to you. Plenty of founders and C-suite folks in those spaces often will talk to their employees about the importance of approaching their work with an owner's mindset. ⚡ Go Deeper: What Does It Mean to Truly Forgive Ourselves? In some cases, it's a good thing, a...

Welcome to part two of our conversation about forgiveness. As we shared in our last episode, we noted a distinct and organic trend emerge through some of our previous topics. Whether we were talking about good ego vs. bad ego, cultivating relationships in our lives, or wrestling with fear, George and I noticed some element of forgiveness was required to move through these opportunities and challen...

Over the past few episode's we've covered a number of fascinating and thought-provoking topics meant to propel us to living a life beyond our default : Maintaining a healthy relationship with our own ego, good ego vs. bad ego, and what to do if we let our ego get the best of us. How important it is to be mindful of the language we use to talk to ourselves about ourselves, and how this can directly...

We've spent the past few conversations exploring the our ability to reach beyond our defaults and norms from the perspective of those who struggle to feel good about ourselves, or don't find it easy to trust or bet on ourselves. However, there exists another extreme at the other end of the spectrum. A word that is hotly debated in terms of its worth, as well as how much an overdose of it can be hi...

It doesn't matter whether we consider ourselves introverts, extroverts, ambiverts, or some other yet-to-be-discovered "vert," we humans are social creatures. But the one person we spend the most time talking to isn't our best friend, a parent, or a spouse. Whether we realize it or not, that person we talk to the most is ourselves. Morning, noon, and night — consciously or not consciously; with men...

Everyone has a different relationship with the concept of fear; our own lived experiences shape what kind of role it plays in our lives, as well as how large that role is. Regardless of where on the spectrum we fall with fear, the one thing all we humans have in common is that, fear can all too easily become a destructive force in our lives if we're not careful. The challenge, of course, is that (...