Berri's Couch

Time to take the kids out for some blood Go-gurt. We take two sequels to 1931's Dracula to school and look at them to find out who excels in their studies of vampirism and who really doesn't test well.

A hidden gem buried in the late 70's has been unearthed and unleashed upon us. A movie that neither of us expected to be good but instead quickly grabbed us by the ghoulies and put us under its spell, a true great return to discussing Dracula's and their derivatives.

Why does a TTRPG garner attention from a genre that otherwise is against one of the hosts? Now that we've taken a turn around the promenade of the regency genre we shall share partake in the salaciousness discussion about it, the titles there in and why adding modernity to it is at best a fun deviation and at worst pain inducing.

Well this was the dullest of affairs. We look Sense and Sensibility or rather we report back the ennui that is watching the BBC miniseries of Sense and Sensibility. What is good, what is bad and why did Regency stay around into the modern age?

It's sad girl hours as we dive into one of the other pillars of this genre Jane Eyre and weigh in on the classic debate Darcy vs Rochester (one of the original Team Edward vs Team Jacob). Specifically the 2006 miniseries adaptation, what we liked, what we found funny despite the intended tone, and whether or not this has undone some Regency trauma in Bee.

Behold the most well known regency long form essay that could be ended if anyone had actually had a succinct conversation. Bee begins to visit her trauma relating to this era of writing and Jerri explains the fundamentals of this literature and why it can be difficult to absorb if you are not its intended audience. #marywasrobbed

We reach the end of Arthurian film adaptation with Guy Ritchie's.......attempt(?) at starting a new wave of Arthurian movies. Does it work? How do we feel about this as a film vs adaptation of Arthur? What are the rankings of this month's media? And finally which hurt us more Robin Hood adaptations or Arthur? It's a long one so put your feet up, get a drink and maybe a pillow to scream into.

It is here, the most Arthur movie to ever Arthur, while feeling like it was made on a bunch of cocaine. This movie is sufficiently 80's but how does it stand as an adaptation and what did we like? And why is that man wearing only gold?

From fanfic AU takes on Arthurian canon, some downright bad changes that should have just been its own I.P, to the right out of left field bug nutty decisions, we do a quick look at Arthur as he appears in episodic content. If you are a fan of Cursed you may want to sit this one out.

How does kids media handle the lofty burden of the Arthur and his adventures. We don't know but we found they accidentally reinforce a subtext across multiple forms and use not the original canon but books based on canon. And why does Bee call physics a philosophy?

While Bee suffers through her Victorian Lady Illness (sick symptoms but not infectious) we delve into the complicated mess that is what is that actual canon of the Arthur mythos and the problems changing it to screen, along with historical additions/removals to the stories.

We are finally at the end of this long descent into mediocrity and disrespect. I could be as lazy as this movie and just put buzzwords that don't connect but I can't manage that level of H&M clothes in scenes that don't belong. We drag this movie through this mud, rank the movies seen and a brief look into the process of what this month has done to us as viewers.

We're in the bad place people, we finally hit the beginning of the descend into "gritty realism" Robins. The accents are missing, the film gratuitous and the plot a mangled mess wishing for death. Why does this fail so bad as a Robin Hood join us through the prolonged torture and why this style does not suit this story at all.

Now we visit what is most people's first Robin Hood, what did Disney keep? What did they change? How does it compare to Errol Flynn? We continue how look through the pop culture Robin Hood to see how he went from random dude in the woods to what he is now.

To begin our walk through Sherwood forest we start at the beginning with the movie that codified our modern perception of Robin Hood. The swashbuckling rogue portrayed by Errol Flynn and by extension the stories that begat the movie.

*Bee starting wistfully out the window* This is my Eragon, my Artemis Fowl, my Last Airbender by Shyamalan* Look this isn't the worst Tekken movie ever but if the best one can describe it as, as predictable, ugly and at best an unfun 4kids adaptation of a video game should we settle? Hear us out and listen to the rage as we enter the final round of this month with Tekken: Bloodlines. Bee: #NotmyTe...

Get ready. Fight! *cheesy 90's techno starts* In an event that was foretold by the bullshit tacked on prophecy we are looking at the Mortal Kombat movies (only the first ones because Annihilation is well.... terrible) both of their might will be tested. Will one have a flawless victory? Or will they both suffer fatalities?

We now wash our mouths of the disgusting toothpaste and orange juice feeling of Assassin's Creed and our palate cleanser is the 2001 hit(?) Lara Croft. Surprise it's fun, campy goodness that should be appreciated by everyone.

Please beware of Bee yelling and she refuses to change this title. Now we try and discuss the multitude of bad decision making that lead to the 2016 Assassin's Creed movie, and whether or not it succeeds as an adaptation.

We finally end the month of opinions and takes by taking on the behemoth in a CGI riddled fight that you can barely see. Did we say we were going to talk about gay stuff. Yes. Did we? Nope. If you're desperate we do have other episodes about that explicitly but for now other things about movies.

Television gets its turn in our now technically serialised content about our takes on media. There is no construction here, we aren't tradies and all criticism is just that.

These are things we feel can be skipped in the playlist of music these days. Some are kinder than others, Bee awoke and chose violence prior to this recording and she will not be stopped.

We've been doing this long enough that it's time to empty our tanks of opinions. We dive into literature from both an audience and creator perspective and what we feel needs to be said about reading.

At the end of the day musical movies are at best vastly different from the stage show that they are based on. So through many reasons we visit some stage musicals that don't have movies and why we hope they NEVER get one. Before eventually trailing off to chase why musical movies are still being done when a cheaper more profitable option is available.

Yes we of course are talking about the quintessential musical and why it is IMPOSSIBLE to actually adapt it to film. We base our knowledge on the 1998 film (?) and what we have found from filmed live performances comparing it to the Hooperian nightmare that was allowed to be released in cinema.