Below Freezing

We’re almost to the end, but before that day can come we have to deal with the event of our lifetimes… “Global Swarming”. Join the St. Johns as they bring you into their personal lives (Adam dropping a pot gummy & Melissa’s experience with “Highlights” magazine”), but also delve into this film that brings the Sharknado franchise out of its slump (including a sick “The Offspring” needle drop)!...

Nothing beats a coming of age story about Freshmen in high school trying to find themselves. So what if you throw in Owen Wilson, sadistic bullies, and the cleanest homeless people you’ve ever seen – NOW WE’RE COOKING WITH GAS PEOPLE! Join the St. Johns as they welcome back Grant Z. to talk about the “hilarious” comedy: “Drillbit Taylor”. We dig deep here folks: wine in a can, Magic Attic Dolls, a...

You would think that the addition of Gary Busey, more reality TV stars, and a possible cousin-on-cousin relationship would elevate “Sharknado 4: The Fourth Awakens” to heights not found in previously installments. If you thought that, however, you would be wrong! Join the St. Johns as they break in their new recorder by wondering just where the hell is Nova and what the hell happened to Tara Reid...

We’re leaving the world of scary static behind and jumping back into the shark infested waters of bad movies. “Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!” brings the St. Johns to DC and Florida and reconnects us with Finn, April, and…Nova!?! Also, was Hasselhoff even there for filming, Pokemon & pogs, and Anthony Weiner – NASA has never been more proud! You can find us at the following: Email: belowfreezingpodc...

Have you ever thought, “You know – static on my TV and sounds are the scariest thing around?” YOU HAVE? Then do we have a movie for you – the 2005 EVP thriller “White Noise” (no…not the 2022 Noah Baumbach film – the Michael Keaton film). Tune in and make sure you listen carefully because the St. Johns drop some major bombs in this episode: wild elevator sex, dementors, and you will never guess the...

We moved coasts, but we couldn’t shake these mothef***ing sharks – so we might as well talk about them. That’s right – the St. Johns are continuing their journey with “Sharknado 2: The Second One”. Adam and Melissa really try and get into the meat of this true New York story: Mets baseball history, Tara Reid’s acting…again, and the glory that is Vivica A. Fox. The sharks may be outnumbered by the...

WE ARE BACK WITH SEASON 4 BABY!!!! And we came out swinging just like the characters in the franchise we are covering this year and for our first episode back: “Sharknado” (currently on Prime). Join the St. Johns as they discuss all the important issues: Tara Reid’s…acting(?), the lack of traffic on I-5, Ian Ziering’s forearm veins, and a joke that we couldn’t believe was delivered as a throwaway...

We’re ending our season close to how we started…and by that we mean a movie with a very similar title. It’s chilly across the country and so we decided to discuss a movie where a nuclear weapon can’t go above 50 degrees – “Chill Factor”. Join the St. Johns as they break down all the glory of this film: “Elvis” and one-liners, the Cuba-Skeet repartee, and the fact that the phrase “sweet dick” gets...

The holiday season is moseying on and we thought…let’s ruin it for you! Returning to the show is Kieran B. (host of the Best Picture Cast) for another Christmas tale, but no – we won’t be revisiting “Mixed Nuts” like before, instead we’ll be delving into the world of bad British horror with “Don’t Open till Christmas”. Kieran attempts a true “Melissa St. John” viewing of the film, we talk about fl...

We know…it’s been quite some time since we’ve posted something, but the holiday season is here and we couldn’t help ourselves but start with some Christmas episodes in November. The St. Johns are breaking ground with their first Hallmark movie by discussing the 2012 classic – “Naughty or Nice” (currently on Prime). This movie has so much going on: magical books, corporate sabotage, a “Friends” Ros...

After a couple of false starts with trying to continue spooky season, we talk about a direct-to-TV sequel of a Hitchcock classic: “The Birds II: Land’s End”. Join the St. Johns as we talk about bad painting, bad parenting, what Tippi Hendren is doing in this movie, and the best damn dog in the world. Also, a late breaking announcement about a certain Seattle baseball team (which by this time will...

It’s spooky season…and we’ve decided to throw a curveball at you. With a non-traditional “scary movie” sequel that was released within a year of its predecessor, we’re bringing you our thoughts on the spoof film “Scary Movie 2”. Come along with the St. Johns as they try to call attention to every movie mocked within this film (from “The Exorcist” to “Save the Last Dance” to “Dude, Where’s My Car?”...

An American Werewolf in Paris: We are starting spooky season early here at Below Freezing…and we’re taking a page out of Rewind 25-52’s book by talking about a film from 1997: “An American Werewolf in Paris”. Join the St. Johns as they talk about walking on the sun, bad parenting, and the HUGE difference in opinion of this movie. What a nostalgic dive this was…please tune in and join the fun. You...

We here at Below Freezing have found ourselves in a slump – not thoroughly impressed with any of our recent films covered on the show…UNTIL NOW! That’s right – join the St. Johns as they discuss their oldest, but quite possibly best, film covered to date: 1977’s “The Incredible Melting Man.” Just shit on my grits as this imbibed married couple discusses Rick Baker’s “bloodcum” makeup, not having e...

After celebrating their 9th wedding anniversary, the St. Johns indulged in a rom-com from the 80s: “Overboard”. Then, they decided to embark on a different ship: the unnecessary remake from 2018 – “Overboard”. Tune in as they discuss the gender swap, marital roles, and too much Seattle Seahawks gear. You can find us at the following: Email: belowfreezingpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.c...

Repressed memories, pool sex, and warm Coca-Cola: could you imagine if a movie contained all of these amazing moments? Well…what if I said a movie DID exist that had all of those AND middle-aged men bicycle races, awkward religious iconography, AND a catcher’s mitt seat – would you believe me? You better, because the St. Johns are joined by Grant Z (from Best Picture Cast and Worst Picture Cast) t...

HBO Max is up and running…and so is Mickey Cohen’s drug empire – so you know the St. Johns are talking about the overly-stylish 2013 film “Gangster Squad”. Tune in as Adam and Melissa discuss splitting a person in half, dialogue that sounds like it was ripped right out of a film noir, Sean Penn’s everchanging dialect, and whatever is going on with Ryan Gosling’s voice. There is so much going on in...

We’re back!!! We’re here in Michigan and we had to audible…nope, we’re not watching a film on HBO Max, but we’re watching the 1% Rotten Tomato film “Alone in the Dark” (currently on Tubi). The St. Johns struggle their way through this…movie(?): Bureau 713, opening text and VO, and the wonder that is Christian Slater. We’re breaking in the new pad with a truly atrocious film – so please, join us fo...

When the St. Johns turned the 1994 Disney made family/comedy film “Blank Check”, they were unaware that it would unlock some repressed memories for both of them. We didn’t know that Adam would have to relive his moments of watching Bruce Willis have sex in a film at an inappropriately young age or that Melissa would unlock moments of being left alone at a zoo. We talk about the film as well: the g...

What if we took a true life tragedy, added music and lyrics, and wrapped it up in a 1980s choreographic bow – what would we get? Well…you’d get one amazing f***ing treat – THAT’S what you’d get. Please join us as we delve into the 2021 Netflix film (or musical? or monstrosity?) “Diana: the Musical”. Adam and Melissa don’t hold back in this episode as they put their theatre-minded brains to work: j...

The George Michael song “Freedom” comes to mind in moments like this – we have been unshackled from the grips of vampires & lycans by completing our journey in this series with “Underworld: Blood Wars”. The St. Johns (as always) imbibed in some spirits to bring you the best possible content: saying the words “crispy shifty”, Rolling Stone magazine vs. The Rolling Stones band, and…fuck-me-runni...

You may be wondering, “Do the St. Johns enjoy misery? Is it a preference of theirs to continue to watch and take notes on films that are subpar?” The answer is clearly yes…and thus we continue the journey down the path of vampires and lycans in the penultimate film in this series: “Underworld: Awakening” (or “Underworld: New Blood” if you ask Melissa). As always, we get into the heart of this film...

What happens when you take a script by Academy Award winning writers, put it in the hands of an Academy Award nominated director, and put Academy Award winning/nominated actors in your satire? In this instance, you get the s**t sandwich that is George Clooney’s 2017 bellyflop: “Suburbicon”. Melissa and Adam really get into it all on this episode: the glory of Dollar Tree, Mel’s new unattraction fo...

For better or worse, we are still delving into the “Underworld” franchise…by going backwards…in the prequel entitled “Rise of the Lycans”. Please join the St. Johns as they discuss all the big issues with this film: aren’t vampires immortal, which mythical beasts from the film are the most like the Catholics, and the hotness of Michael Sheen. Also, Melissa knows the lyrics to “Chicago”, Adam is en...

Our month of romance is over and now we are back to the month of…lycans & vampires?!? That’s right, we are continuing our dive into the “Underworld” franchise by exploring the 2nd film from 2006 – “Evolution”. Join the St. Johns as they try to discern the plot, Adam can’t believe Derek Jacobi is in this film, and Mel calls out the “nerds” who like this movie. Also, Melissa thinks Tom Petty san...