Behind Our Smiles Marriage Podcast

After an episode full of verbal processors, we're letting Joe, our resident internal processor, respond to that conversation.  What exactly is going on inside the mind of a man who has less words to say? And why do steady men like him tend to not respond as expressively as their wives would like them to? What is the nothing box and how does it work?  We try to find the answers to those questions i...

Move over Joe, the ladies are talking- I mean taking over this episode!   Does your marriage have a dynamic with a very talkative, excitable wife, and a quiet, steady husband?   Verbal processor vs internal processor?? Then you'll relate to the conversation I had with three of my friends who have similar marriage dynamics.   But this is not an episode where the wives get together to complain about...

We love to look back at those key moments that have radically changed the trajectory of our marriage- those times the lightbulb comes on and you're able to see things more clearly.   Over our 27 years, there have been many lightbulb moments, most of which we wished we had had earlier!   In this episode we share some of those times in our marriage that we thought Aha!!     To connect with us on soc...

Have you ever experienced that A-ha!! moment? So often, we hit the same wall, again and again, until God gets a hold of us and A-ha! The light goes on.   We see what we were too blind to see before.   Ignorance to understanding.   In this episode we share about why we all need a good lightbulb moment!   To connect with us on social media: Facebook   Instagram behindoursmiles.com wowgod.com Email:...

Our marriage is affected by the many decisions that arise in parenting.   One of those big decisions that we need to find unity on is how are kids are educated.   Even though we had very different educational experiences, we were in agreement early in our desire to home educate our kids.   Looking back on almost two decades of homeschooling, we're sharing how that decision has benefitted our famil...

Are your expectations of your spouse realistic?   We may all answer, of course they are! I mean, I don's ask for much, right?   We usually consider ourselves to "not ask for much" while also thinking that our spouse is asking too much of us. In this episode we talk about the danger in thinking "But I don't ask for much!" And how to navigate those expectations with grace.     To connect with us on...

Do you ever feel like your ideas are dismissed by your spouse, often from the get-go?   We've been there way too many times!   This week we're re-visting our very favorite phrase that we use to strengthen our marriage.   We're sharing how adding "That's a great idea" to our vocabulary has helped our marriage in so many ways!     To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram behindoursmile...

Do you and your spouse ever disagree?   That's a silly question. No one agrees with one person 100% of the time.   But disagreements can become a source of tension and conflict in our marriage when they're fueled by stubbornness and disrespect. In this episode we talk about to keep disagreements from weakening your marriage.     To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram behindoursmile...

Before our son, Stephen, got married to Anna, we shared a special evening together with them and the parents of the bride. It was a night of prayer and blessing for Stephen & Anna. In this episode, we share how that conversation went as the four of us prepared our kids to build a marriage, and not just a wedding.    To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram behindoursmiles.com wowgod....

Do you love weddings?   We have always loved weddings, but a wedding as the parents of the groom was a whole different experience! In this episode, we reflect on our son's wedding day and how attending weddings encourage our marriage (and make me cry….) Stephen & Anna's First Dance Video     To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram behindoursmiles.com wowgod.com Email: tara@behindour...

Do you feel "free" in your marriage?   That might depend on on your definition of freedom! There are many cliches about marriage being the end of freedom, but the right kind of freedom makes a marriage healthy.   In this week's episode we talk about the importance of both freedom and boundaries in building a strong marriage.     To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram behindoursmile...

  Interview w/Brian and Carole Pucel   We are so excited for you to meet our friends Brian and Carole Pucel.   When they married in 1982, everything seemed to be bliss until Brian began to follow Jesus. Brian's new-found faith almost destroyed their marriage, until Carole slowly became curious about what had caused this change in her husband. For several years, they had a picture-perfect marriage,...

Do you remember all the little things you would do for your spouse when you first met and got married?   We took such joy in giving an receiving those small acts of love.   As the years go by, we can let the little things go.   In this episode, we talk about how keeping up with the little things has grown our marriage.     To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram behindoursmiles.com...

How do you feel when someone starts a sentence with "you should…"   No one likes being told what to do. Some of that comes from our own aversion to being corrected, and some of that is when someone is talking to us as if they know more.   This dynamic shows up in our marriage as well and we start sentences with "you should…" more often than we should!   In this episode we share our struggle with "...

We're celebrating 27 years of marriage this week!   In honor or our anniversary, (and our son's upcoming wedding!) we're sharing the 27 things we would tell our newly-wed selves!   To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram behindoursmiles.com wowgod.com Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Have mental health struggles affected your marriage?   When one spouse is struggling, both spouses are affected, often in different ways. After our conversation with Dr. Mork last week, we wanted to reflect on what she shared how it relates to what we have experienced in our marriage .     To connect with us on social media: Facebook   Instagram behindoursmiles.com wowgod.com Email: tara@behindour...

Does your spouse's driving drive you crazy?   Can you get through a road trip without feeling very frustrated? Many of our worst traits show up when we're on the road and in stressful driving conditions. In this week's episode, we share how we avoid driving each other crazy while driving!     To connect with us on social media: Facebook   Instagram behindoursmiles.com wowgod.com Email: tara@behind...

This week we are talking to our new friends Shawn and Jayneen, and theirs is a unique and powerful story.   How does a marriage survive when one spouse is self-destructing?   After their marriage was almost completely destroyed by infidelity and a five-year separation, God redeemed not just their marriage, but healed them as individuals.   Hear all the skills and wisdom they learned on their journ...

Ladies, do you want to receive a Mother's Day gift from your husband?   Even though we are not their mothers, we do need their encouragement!   In this episode, we talk about one of the best gifts you can give the mother of you children: unwavering dedication to your family.   We share 6 principles that Joe has practiced in supporting Tara as a mother. M- Model Respect   O- Offer Resources   T- Ta...

Do you like to cuddle with your spouse?   Cuddling isn't just for babies and puppies!   Taking time each day to hold each other and enjoy that physical closeness is great for our physical and mental health!   In this episode we share about why we love cuddling and how it has benefitted our marriage!   To connect with us on social media: Facebook Instagram behindoursmiles.com wowgod.com Email: tara...

This is our final week in our series on the Gottmans' Four Horsemen.   Our final horseman is stonewalling, which is when one person withdraws and refuses to engage in a conversation.  When is stonewalling harmful and when is it helpful?   How do we handle conflict when we are flooded with uncomfortable emotions? In this episode we share our experience with stonewalling and how we keep it from hurt...

We are in third week of our series on the Gottman's Four Horsemen.   One of the most dangerous of all the horsemen is contempt, which John Gottman calls the "sulfuric acid for love".    Contempt begins when simmering negative thoughts about our spouse grow into a belief that our spouse is inferior to us and is insignificant. In this episode we share about the dangers of contempt and how it can cre...

This is our second episode in our series on Gottman's 4 horseman as we tackle to the topic of defensiveness.   When the horse of defensiveness is running wild in our marriage, we go into self-protection mode and refuse to take responsibility for our behavior. In this episode we're sharing our struggle with defensiveness and some of the ways to combat it.   Gottmans' Four Horsemen: Defensiveness To...

This episode is our first in a series where we are discussing the Gottmans' work on the "Four Horsemen": the four conflict patterns that can cause damage in our relationships and marriages.   We're starting with criticism, which is bringing up a concern by describing our partner (You always you never) and attacking them as a person.   When the horse of criticism is running wild in our marriage, we...

Every week, we love to share the stories behind our smiles.   We talk about how we pursue connection and find joy even in the struggle.   But we know that you have a story behind your smiles, as well!   Have you and your spouse overcome obstacles in your marriage?   Is there a time God intervened in an otherwise hopeless situation?   We'd love to hear about it!   We're handing you the mic so you c...