Become A Calm Mama

Overwhelm often comes from thoughts like… I have so much to do. I don't know what to do. I'm so behind. I don't know where to start. I'll never get this all done. I suck. These are just thoughts. They are sentences in your head. They aren't necessarily true. But thinking them can lead you to become overwhelmed and self-critical. Sometimes the simple act of writing all the things down that are in y...

With this podcast episode released on Thanksgiving, I’m talking all about gratitude, how it relates to children, how it relates to parenting, and what I'm calling weaponized gratitude. What is gratitude? In Brene Brown's book, Atlas of the Heart, she defines gratitude as, “an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel con...

Today, I’m getting a little personal and sharing my story of perfectionism - how I realized I was struggling with it in the first place, where it came from, what it looked like in my life and some of the strategies I’ve used to get out of my own perfectionism.  Of course, I’m also talking about how it relates to being a mom and what happens when we, as women and mothers, try to do everything...

In this episode, I’m talking all about boundaries, limits and rules. What is the difference between them? And how can you best utilize them, especially as we go into the holiday season? Rules, Boundaries & Limits - What’s the difference? A rule is when you say what your child can or can’t do. Rules are a first step in teaching your kid how to listen, be responsible and think A limit takes it a...

Today on Become A Calm Mama, I'm talking about a concept called codependency and how it shows up in parenting.  Our children are naturally dependent on us to care for them. In this episode, I’ll help you understand the difference between healthy dependency and a less healthy codependent model. I’ll also give you some guidelines to figure out if codependency is a struggle for you and what to d...

Parents often say to me that their child “is being disrespectful” or that “their behavior is disrespectful”. But is it? And if so, what can you do about it? In this episode, you’ll learn how to tell the difference between respectful and disrespectful behavior, why not everything falls into one of those two categories and how to create mutual respect in your family.  What is mutual respect? On...

The difference between being mean and being firm can be confusing. A lot of moms think that when they are firm with their children, they are being mean. For example - when you have one of your kids pulling your other kid’s hair, it’s not mean to say “Stop that. Or Don’t do that. That’s not safe. ” with a firm voice.  Or when your child is hitting you or spitting on you. It’s not mean to say “...

After 10 years of coaching parents, I’ve said a lot of things. But there are certain pieces of information, advice and mindset shifts that I come back to over and over again.  In this episode, I’m sharing the five things I say the MOST as a parenting coach. And even if you’ve heard me say some of these before, they’re always worth hearing again.  #1 Be comfortable with your kid’s discomf...

I keep thinking of the image of a tightrope walker with a safety net below them. Your kids are on the tightrope, up high, navigating the distances between one development stage to another.  You aren’t on the tightrope. You are the net holder.   When your kids are little, your net is really close to the tightrope because you are literally keeping your kid alive.  But as your kid...

** Raising Teens Masterclass! ** Details below. This episode is all about raising responsible adults and, more specifically, developing responsibility in our teenagers. It’s all about the tension between what teenagers want (freedom) and what they don't want (responsibility). Today, you’ll learn how to navigate this tension by using limits and boundaries to give freedom and teach responsibility. T...

Today we are going to focus on the PARENTS! Yay! The thing you want.  Parenthood is a journey from feeling like you have a lot of control to feeling as if you have none. You go from being “in charge” of a tiny human to being not “in charge” of an adult. Yelling, threatening and bribing are ways you try to get your power back. Using fear to get your kids to listen is your attempt to feel in co...

Today’s teenager is a complicated being.  That’s why I’m so excited to have Jennifer Delliquadri with me on the podcast for the next 2 episodes! Jennifer is a life coach for teenagers and their parents. With over 14 years working as a classroom teacher, Jennifer is an expert at connecting with teens.  Over the next 2 weeks, Jenn and I are talking about all things teenagers and all things...

Today I’m talking about the evolution of self concept and identity, and specifically, how that develops throughout adolescence.  The onset of puberty and adolescence (usually around the age of 12), is when we really start to see our kids starting to figure out who they are and what they think and feel about themselves. They begin the process of creating a self concept.  In this episode,...

What is self concept? How is it different from self esteem? Is it your responsibility as a parent to help shape your child’s self concept? In this episode, I’m talking all about self concept - what it is, why it matters and how it forms. What Is Self Concept? Self concept is a collection of thoughts you think about yourself. It’s different from self-esteem because esteem is more how you feel about...

With the start of a new school year, your morning routine may be a little rusty. You and your kids may kind of forget how mornings work, or you expect it to go really smoothly and it doesn't, or maybe you’ve never really had a consistent morning routine at all.  If you’re struggling to get your kid out the door on time without a lot of stress and conflict, this is the episode for you! I’m giv...

The transition back to school from summer break is definitely a transition. There are special challenges that come up, and I want you to be prepared for the shenanigans that might happen with your kids in the coming weeks.  In this episode, I’m talking about 5 things you need to know as school starts and how to create the right mindset going into the next couple of weeks so that you can be co...

I bet you’ve been here… Your kid comes to you with a situation – there’s something happening they don’t like, maybe they’re having an issue with their teacher or a friend at school – and you respond with something like, “it’s not that big of a deal,” “you’re overreacting,” or “don’t worry about it, it’s gonna be fine.” You may have the best of intentions and even say these things in a really sweet...

There are times when your kids are going through something hard or they have something on their mind, and the way they process it is by talking to you - aka complaining.   They get stuck in their big feelings.  They’re afraid that the discomfort they’re experiencing is going to last forever.  So they take all those thoughts and feelings and dump them on you. It’s like the big-k...

In this episode you'll learn How to care for your own emotional needs while being there for your kid The tendencies parents have when their kids are suffering The healthy way to support your kids through hard things I’m sharing a story about something that happened with my son just this past week.   It’s still pretty fresh, but it was just so powerful and also a huge learning experience...

One thing moms struggle with is feeling bad about their progress in becoming calm and showing up calm with their kids. Whenever they have an mad mom episode and act in a way they don’t think they should, a lot of criticism, guilt, and doubt pours in.  They think they should know this already. They think they should be getting there faster.   What they don’t understand is that becomi...

Ever find yourself criticizing your kid…and then feel really terrible about it?  You’re not alone.  Parenting is hard and there’s plenty to complain about.  In this episode you’ll learn how to tell the difference between complaints and criticism and how (and why) to stop criticizing your child. Let’s face it.  Kids are really annoying. They don’t really think before they act. T...

When you lose your temper with your kid, it doesn’t feel great.  But it IS totally normal. Perfection is not possible, in parenting especially. All parents lose their temper and speak or act harshly towards their kids from time to time.  In this episode, I’m sharing what’s really going on when you lose your temper and what to do after the dust settles.   Losing Your Temper Firs...

What do your kids want from you?   We put a whole lot of pressure on ourselves as parents sometimes, when the things our kids really need from us are actually pretty simple.  Kids love to look at their parents and see DELIGHT in our eyes.  They want to feel they are the most important thing ever.  And I know you want to give that to them.  But it’s easier said than do...

Let’s face it.  Summer is great.  And it’s a lot. A lot of time with kids. Traveling. Extra meal prep. Day trips with snack bags. Feeling like there’s not enough time to get work done. Long days. Late nights. Sibling fights. Loneliness.  You’re going to need a plan to enjoy the season - and avoid burnout. SUMMER BURNOUT Summer Burnout is a real thing. So many decisions to make. So m...

Tired of repeating yourself over and over…and over?  Can’t figure out why your child doesn’t listen?  This is the episode for you! I’m talking about why it's not effective to repeat yourself, why you do it anyway and how you’re using it as a way to rescue your kids (and yourself) from negative consequences.  Because repeating yourself and reminding your kids over and over again isn’...