Become A Calm Mama

Today, we’re focusing on being on the same page as your coparent with limits and consequences.  You’ll Learn: Why learning to regulate your emotions is like learning to read and write 3 coparenting scenarios and how to navigate them What to do when you’re not on board with your coparent’s limits & consequences The good news about your relationship with your kid Our goal with a feelings-fi...

I’m often asked, “How do you handle it when your husband or your coparent isn't on board?” or, “How do you handle it when you're divorced and you don't know what's going on with the other parent?” In this first episode of a two-part series, I’ll start answering these questions and share some essential conversations to have with your coparent. You’ll Learn: Why I know your kid is going to be okay....

We all know that parenting is enough of a challenge on its own, but what about when you’re coparenting with an abusive ex, someone who may be acting more for themselves than the best interest of your kid? My guest, Lisa Johnson, is a certified domestic violence advocate and the cofounder of a divorce coaching program called Been There Got Out. We’re talking all about: The goodness and peace that a...

I often talk about parenting the kid in front of you, not the one you wish you had or the one you’re afraid they’ll become.  Today, I’ll explain three thoughts that you’ve probably experienced when you don’t like your kid’s behavior or parts of their personality, why judgments about your kid aren’t helpful and what to do instead. You’ll Learn: The parenting advice I give the most Why behavior...

When kids lie, it can feel personal or like a moral issue. But just like so many other challenging behaviors, it is a strategy that your child uses to communicate their negative emotion. It’s normal kid behavior (not a character flaw).  In this episode, I’ll share a handful of common reasons kids (or anyone for that matter) lie, why trying to get the truth out of them usually doesn’t work and...

Hearing your kid say, “I hate you” can be one of the hardest things to hear as a parent. Today, I’m giving you tangible, easy to apply strategies for handling “I hate you,” including ways to feel less upset by it and change the pattern.  In this episode: Why kids say, “I hate you,” even though they don’t really mean it How to protect your feelings  Why saying, “I hate you” hurts your chi...

I want you to feel really great as a parent. I want you to get out of mom guilt and instead feel a deep sense of calm. This calm leads to confidence, compassion for your kids, clarity on what you should do, and so many other good things. What I've noticed, though, is that when moms first come to me, they often feel really embarrassed that they are not already calm. This mom feels ashamed that she...

My guest, marriage coach Maggie Reyes, and I are talking about the 4 essential elements of a great relationship, how they apply to marriage, parenting, and all types of relationships. Plus, we dive into how to reconnect with your spouse when you feel like you’ve been drifting apart and why they don’t have to change for your relationship to feel better. You’ll learn: How to shift your thoughts when...

If you’re tired of repeating yourself, yelling, punishing and keeping up with the dreaded sticker chart, I want you to know that there is a new way of parenting - one that actually works.  Listen to learn: Why your kids don’t do what you tell them to (and you end up yelling) The 4 steps of the Calm Mama Process My favorite sentence for validating feelings How to get help and learn a new way t...

When I first became a parent coach, I talked a lot with moms about how feelings matter. Over the past 15 years, I’ve seen a shift. Now there's a lot of awareness about emotions and validation, but I find myself talking more and more about how important it is to have consequences and teach kids that their behavior has an impact. In this episode, you’ll learn:  Why gentle parenting information...

I’m just gonna say it. Parenting is confusing! There are a lot of decisions to make, and you want to be an amazing mom for your kid. In this episode, I’ll explain why parenting is so confusing and offer some words of encouragement that I hope will make you realize that you’re already doing a great job. We’ll talk about: Why parenting is confusing (it’s not just you!) How parenting is like learning...

If you’re a mom, you know there are times when you don’t like your kid. Of course, you always love and care about them and want what’s best for them, but there are also tough stages or times when they’re showing up in ways you just really don’t like. This happens to parents all the time, but it’s something we hardly ever talk about (because we’re ashamed of feeling this way).  In this episode...

You’ve probably heard about the value of play for kids, but did you know that it’s just as important for adults? Today, I’m joined by TJ Matton, who helps people find enjoyment in the everyday, playful ways to manage stress, and empowering ways to greater fulfillment. You’ll Learn: The value of play - for kids and adults alike Why we stop playing in the first place How embracing play affects your...

You know how some moms’ kids seem to listen to them and others don’t? What is it that makes some kids listen and follow directions more than others? What is it that allows the parent to have more ease in those moments? I believe leadership has a huge impact. In today’s episode, I’m talking about leadership energy in parenting and how it can shift the dynamic of your home (in a good way!). We’re ge...

Victoria Yates  is back on the podcast today to talk with me about teaching kids to love their bodies and have a great relationship with food and their bodies. We’re addressing some of the challenges and fears that we face as parents, how society has told us to view our bodies, and then she’ll share some strategies to help you support your kid’s health in a positive way. Victoria is an intuit...

Over the past 15 years, I’ve seen a shift in our society’s approach to parenting. We’re moving away from punishment and shame and toward compassion (I love it!!). But gentle parenting has its pitfalls, too. Today, I’m talking about why consequences matter and how you can use natural and logical consequences to help your child understand and take responsibility for the impact of their behavior with...

We all have them, those days when things are going well, you’re having a nice day with the kids and things feel easy…But then a switch gets flipped and everything goes to crap. In this episode, you’ll learn my process for resetting crappy moments so you can get back to feeling calm and connected (and maybe even have a little fun!). I know firsthand the challenges that come with managing unexpected...

In compassionate parenting, we talk a lot about emotions. In today’s episode I’m explaining the 5 emotional needs of kids, how unmet needs show up in behavior and how you can support your child’s emotional health. In last week’s  Parenting 101  episode, I talked about the core needs of attachment and authenticity for humans, including how we can teach better coping strategies while valid...

As we kick off 2024, it seemed like a good time to return to the basics of compassionate parenting. Plus, “Parenting 101” is a really fun title for our 101st episode! Today, I’ll walk you through some foundational principles and invite you to think about what you want to focus on as a parent this year.   The Basics of Human Needs In his book,  The Myth of Normal , Gabor Maté talks about...

Welcome to our 100th episode of Become a Calm Mama! Today, I’m getting pretty personal about things I experienced in my childhood and how trauma informed my parenting. We’ll also talk about some ways to feel better and heal from traumatic experiences in your past. I also have my best friend, Tiffany Howsam , here with me today. Tiffany is a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a cert...

In today’s episode, I’ll give you 4 winter break tips for you and 4 tips for your kids. You’ll learn strategies to take better care of yourself, feel less overwhelmed, be compassionate with your kids and reduce meltdowns.  Winter break can be hard for us and our kids. What often happens is we sort of just start going into the holiday season and winter break without a plan or being prepared.&n...

Whether it’s during the holidays or just on the drive to or from school, meltdowns and tantrums are part of parenting life. In this short and sweet episode, you’ll learn why tantrums happen and get tools and tips for how to handle a meltdown, help your kid deal with the impact of their behavior and cut down the frequency, duration and intensity of big feeling cycles.   Why Is Your Kid Having...

As we head into the holiday season, I want to give you some ways to prepare your nervous system for ALL the things coming your way. With all of the holiday buildup, family visits and kids being home for winter break, your nervous system is going to get activated and you're going to need to work harder to reset it.  You’ve probably heard me talk about your  stress response . As a parent,...

This episode is coming out on Thanksgiving Day, and the holiday season is officially here. But sometimes, as humans, we’re in pain even when we are doing celebratory things. Today, my friend and grief coach, Leslie Gelfand, is here to talk about navigating grief as a parent, especially around the holidays. As a grief recovery specialist, Leslie helps her clients navigate through many different kin...

Thanksgiving is about a week away here in the U.S. This is a day that can be challenging for kids and adults alike, so today’s episode will help you to prepare yourself and your family to have a calm Thanksgiving with kids.  Think back to the past few Thanksgivings. How did they go? Were there some things you’d like to change (or was it just a complete shit-show)? Whether you’re hoping for sm...