Beautifully Complex

There is a LOT online about ADHD and autism. A LOT! How do you know what to trust, what to try? It can be tough, especially when you’re searching through a lens of fear and worry for your child.    In this episode of Beautifully Complex, we offer some guidelines on knowing what to trust and considering what interventions are worth trying. We talk about ADHD medication, diet, brain training, and mo...

You want to help your child. So you make some assumptions as to why they’re upset, why they’re not getting things done, why they’re avoiding or disengaging… You show empathy and validation with that info, still trying to help, and then your kid gets more upset and you can’t figure it out because you feel that you did everything right. The hurdle you tripped over may be assumptions and judgment. We...

There are some tough and scary things in life that we need to talk to our kids about: divorce, serious illness of a family member, moving, death of a loved one, to name a few. As parents, we don’t want our kids to be hurting and often default to sharing as little painful information as possible with them. But, we do them a great disservice with that approach. Instead we need to be open and honest...

Instead of viewing ADHD and autism through the medical model, we need to view them through a strengths-based model as the neurodiversity movement does. A strengths-based model uses interests and strengths to help with challenges. We talk a lot about it in terms of parenting and educating, but now it’s time to teach our kids to operate through a strengths-based lens.  In this episode, Dr. Matt outl...

If there’s one thing parents of struggling learners understand, it’s that the IEP process is complex. Between the law (IDEA), qualifications, the IEP document, goals, measurements, and formal meetings, there’s a lot to know and navigate to ensure that your neurodivergent child receives the education they deserve (and have a right to).   In this episode, I’m joined by Master IEP Coach, Catherine Wh...

Biology influences behavior. Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world does, too. The challenges neurodivergent kids experience at school and in their classrooms are tied to their neurological differences and how their bodies interpret their environment and gauge their safety. When kids don’t feel safe, they cannot regulate and they cannot learn.   In this episode, Dr. Emily King helps us under...

It’s easy to fall into bad patterns with our interactions with others, especially our kids. But a better relationship is always possible, as long as you make changes and do the work. In this episode, Sarah Wayland, Ph. D. is back with me to talk about making amends, repairing the relationship, and pivoting to more healthy and rewarding interactions. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www....

Intelligence and learning and doing are different things. An individual can be highly intelligent and also struggle with getting things done or even with learning itself. When someone has both a high IQ and a learning disability, they’re referred to as twice-exceptional, or 2e. As you can imagine, this can be a struggle in school, as well as other aspects of life, because people tend to automatica...

It’s the 6 year anniversary of the Beautifully Complex podcast so I’m looking back at some of the most pivotal lessons I’ve had about parenting neurodivergent kids. I’ve interviewed nearly 150 experts and also parented my son from young teen to young adult during that time. I’ve learned a lot! Listen in as I explain my six biggest aha’s and what they could mean for you and your child — the interco...

Many neurodivergent kids — including those with ADHD, autism, and anxiety — can be quite aggressive at home or at school. To cope with and improve aggressive behavior, you have to understand why it happens. In a global sense, the child doesn’t feel safe, and acknowledging this is a great place to start.  Tosha Schore of Parenting Boys Peacefully is my guest on this episode. In her work with famili...

We’ve been busy recording the sessions for the upcoming Decoding Behavior Summit, March 3-5, 2023. In this episode of the podcast, Sarah and I reflect on the common principles and strategies we heard from the experts in this Summit, including your role in your child’s behavior, the importance of adult regulation, the transformative properties of a sense of control for kids, and more.  Become a sup...

The parenting long game is all about putting the right mindset and strategies in play so that kids can succeed and thrive. As parents, we often spend a lot of time in the “yuk,” overwhelmed by what’s hard and negative. And we’re wired to focus on the negative as a means of protection.  However, to parent with the long game, Rachel Bailey tells us that we have to shift from judgment to understandin...

It can be hard for our neurodivergent kids to find their path into adulthood. They often don’t yet know what they’re interested in pursuing long term, even after graduating from high school. The key is to support kids, teens, and young adults in exploring their interests, as actor and puppeteer David Bizarro illustrates as he shares his story with us. You’ll gain insights on the ADHD brain and tha...

Low demand parenting doesn’t mean that we dismiss all expectations of a child and let them do whatever they want. Instead, low demand parenting means dropping demands and reducing expectations in order to meet kids with radical acceptance. AS Amanda Diekman explains in this episode, the purpose of the low demand life is to find ease and joy. But how exactly do you shift from the high demand parent...

The challenge of raising a child with differences in a mostly intolerant world is very real. There’s both joy and heartache, as Kaylor Taylor illustrates in her book, “Canaries Among Us.” At stake in this quest to honor our kids’ individuality, is the mental and emotional health of an ever-growing population of neurodivergent children.  In this episode, Kayla and I discuss the injurious nature of...

“A brain that feels safe will not get stuck.” That’s how Britt Frank, author of “The Science of Stuck,” explains the connection between a sense of psychological safety and being stuck. In this episode, she not only shares that understanding of why we get stuck, but she outlines her step-by-step process to move through stuckness, something we’re all too often trying to help our neurodivergent kids...

We’re addressing a listener question about letting kids fail in this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast. When parents say, “Let kids fail,” they usually mean revoking all of the help and support they were providing and letting the kid handle it on their own, even if that means letting them fail (often knowing it means that a neurodivergent kid will fail).  Sarah Wayland, Ph. D. and I don’t...

The transition into college and then out in the “real world” are challenging enough, but can be even more daunting and complex when you have ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, or anxiety. Parents want to help their kids succeed and thrive but are no longer able to step in to help in the ways they had while their child was under age 18.  In this episode of Beautifully Complex, Alex Gilbert, who h...

Did you know that only about 10 percent of U.S. high school students get 9-10 hours of sleep a night, the amount required for healthy sleep at that age? Teens who aren’t sleeping enough don’t just walk around groggy. A lack of healthy sleep negatively impacts mental health, cognitive function, reactivity, emotional regulation, immune function, and relationships.  Clearly, adequate sleep is importa...

In celebration of the 200th episode of the Beautifully Complex Podcast, I have my son Luke back on the show. It’s been 14 years since his first diagnosis of ADHD, and we’ve both learned a lot of lessons along the way. In this episode, Luke and I each share our top 5 lessons learned — my lessons in parenting a neruodivergent child and his lessons in being a neurodivergent individual. The episode st...

There’s a cultural misconception that self-care is treating yourself to something, like a spa day or a weekend away with friends. While that is a type of self-care, it doesn’t sustain you through the day-to-day like internal self-care does, managing our stress, our mindset, and our thoughts and emotions.  Don’t discount internal self-care as “fluff” — I can personally attest that it’s life-changin...

It can be difficult to secure accommodations and services for your child at school. It requires that many people agree on a shared vision and how to make that student’s vision for their education a reality through necessary support. Getting everyone on the same page is key, along with focusing on a few priorities in the here and now.    In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m joined by Beth Li...

Did you know that we are reactive by nature? That’s right! Our brains are wired to respond in kind for protection. But responding in kind — like yelling at your child after they yelled at you — is rarely needed in today’s modern world. And it’s never helpful, which is why we need to reduce our reactivity with our kids and parent from a place of calm intention.  My guest on this episode of the Beau...

Recent data shows us that anxiety and depression have spiked tremendously in kids since the pandemic. Kids are struggling more than ever and they need our help (adults too, by the way). But what does that help look like?   In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, psychologist and author of several books on anxiety and depression, Dr. Gregory Jantz explains the signs of anxiety and depre...

The difference between supporting a child and enabling a child is often a very fine line when you’re talking about neurodivergent kids, who need extra support. Plus, busy, overwhelmed parents often default to enabling because it’s just easier to do it yourself a lot of the time and you’re on auto-pilot in survival mode yourself. So how do you parent more intentionally and as a supporter?   In this...