Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

A goblin fiction ghost writer and artist at heart has an identity crisis after inheriting a million dollars from a distant uncle. This episode is brought to you by Always Forever Maybe, Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Great Women of Business (www.parcast.com/business).

Raised in a troubled home, with parents who lived a transient lifestyle and a father who eventually ended up in prison, this week's caller was able to rise above his circumstances and now works to give back to the community. Also, a casual debate ensues over the best NBA player of all time (Jordan vs. LeBron). This episode is brought to you by Thomas' English Muffins and Magoosh.

This week's caller tells Chris about the very close relationship she had with her recently passed grandmother. Gethard cheers her up with funny stories and by doing his best Freddie Mercury impression. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas' English Muffins, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).

How do you become successful in comedy? How do you know when you've made it? In a return to form for Beautiful Anonymous, Gethard chats with an aspiring stand-up comedian about getting out of her own way and making art, even if that means embracing her creepy, pervy side. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL) and Thomas' English Muffins.

Growing up in Northern England, this week's caller became unlikely pen pals with a death row inmate in the American South. That experience, along with an unusual proximity to murder that she describes as a "family quirk", inspired her career path. This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen, Thomas' English Muffins, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.

A political science student and self-described 'Robin Hood of sugar babies' talks with Geth about the significant emotional labor that goes into online sex work and the commensurate earnings. She also discusses her political aspirations, including her ideal running mate (hint: together they'll make money moves). This episode is brought to you by 9 Days and 9 Nights, Thomas' English Muffins, ZipRec...

A young man describes three difficult experiences of being sexually assaulted and overcoming drug addiction. It's a raw, honest conversation that is occasionally interrupted by Snapchat notifications and a barking puppy. This episode is brought to you by Thomas' English Muffins, Tripping.com, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.

Driving 10-12 hours a day buying and selling machinery can lead to challenges like finding a good gym and getting sufficient protein while avoiding fast food. Gethard has a fun chat with two dudes on a long road trip about making major life changes, maintaining positivity after losing loved ones, and creatine farts. This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Tho...

A mother of two talks about her youthful past as a wandering actor and the choices she made to change her life. Geth asks a question in this call that leads to the ultimate "Sorry Sally" moment: How much do Playboy models get paid? This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas' English Muffins, and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).

An aerialist turned sex education teacher from Australia chats with Gethard about her life on the road, falling in love and the challenge of explaining consent to high school kids. This episode is brought to you by Thomas' English Muffins.

Stuck between two cultures, a punk rocker calls in from the other side of the world to chat about finding his identity, navigating his country's social norms and tells a story about how hard it was to finish a huge American burrito. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful) and Tripping.com (www.tripping.com/STORIES).

Coping with tremendous grief from a recent tragedy, an astrophysics researcher talks to Geth about black holes, extraterrestrial life and the fate of humanity. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Your Mechanic (www.yourmechanic.com/STORIES), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).

A juicy family history, a fast approaching wedding and upcoming gallbladder surgery are on the caller's mind this week and Gethard helps her work through it all. After the call, stay tuned for a 2-year anniversary check-in (and live audience sing-along!) with caller #1, Ron Paul's Baby. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BE...

How did this self-described East Coast dirtbag go from selling drugs out of his mom's minivan to doing brain surgery? His answer: Donnie Darko. Gethard asks him some hard hitting questions like: What skills acquired in drug dealing are useful as a brain surgeon? Why did he go vegan? Can he control a monkey's brain with a special USB stick? This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackwel...

Ever heard of "granary bread?" Yeah? Then you're probably British, like this week's caller. If not, then get out your malted barley and listen to Gethard celebrate cultural differences with a mother and social media expert from England's rural south. Opening up about difficulties in her past, she says: "you know, it was 14 years ago, but it's still one of those things, when I open my heart to a st...

With a combined 200 years of life lived, a retired dentist and an amateur artist chat with Gethard about staying creative as you get older, living a fulfilling life, regrets and the fear of death. One key lesson: travel if you can, but skip The Mona Lisa, it's just not that interesting. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Your Mechanic (www.yourmechanic.com/S...

Longtime listeners know: math is Chris Gethard's nemesis. A real-life mathematician calls in and gives Gethard the most thrilling math quiz ever on a podcast. (We feel safe making that claim.) He also talks about his struggle with substances in college and getting sober. Geth also tells a never-before-heard story about an unusual religious ceremony in the rainforest, which involves hallucinogens a...

Headed to her first chemotherapy treatment after a recent cancer diagnosis, this young woman is naturally a little stressed and nervous. However, spirits are soon lifted in a call that includes stories of haunted apartments, puns and a doctor's note to party. This episode is brought to you by Merge Records (www.mergerecords.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Adam and Ev...

A man narrates his stroll though a Wal-Mart. As he peruses the aisles, from guns to kitchen appliances, the discussion ranges from philosophical to farcical. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful) and Zola (www.zola.com/STORIES).

She does improv, lives in New Jersey and considers herself a "niche person." Needless to say, this week's caller bonds pretty easily with Gethard. She explains what it's like to be on summer break from college and a little boy crazy. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIF...

"If anybody has seen hell, it would be me." What starts as an immigrant success story ends up weaving through prostitution, revenge, tragedy, sexuality, morality and religion. Note that this episode contains difficult topics including sexual violence. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and HBO's Crashing.

An art school grad talks about his success working in an emerging technological art form. Then, out of nowhere, something happens in this call that changes everything about Gethard's world. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Audible (www.audible.com/CG), and HBO's Crashing.

Beautiful Anonymous fans called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Chris their goals, hopes and plans for 2018.

Can stalking your crush lead to a successful long-term relationship? A young woman tells Gethard about her years-long pursuit. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses, Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Sonos (www.sonos.com).

Unsure of her future, a young German woman finds herself in Australia picking cherries with a group of ex-cons & social outcasts. She passes the phone to a fellow picker and mentor of sorts who opens up about finding solace in the wilderness. He shares some practical tips, like how to hunt and cook wild pig. Hint: Don't use a fishing spear. This episode is brought to you by Sonos (www.sonos.com),...