Battle Royale: French Monarchs

After seizing the regency upon the death of Henry IV, will the second Medici to rule France be as successful as the first? Get ready for court intrigue, family drama and shocking twists of fate. To view Marie's most famous series of depictions, Rubens's "Marie de' Medici Cycle", head to the Louvre website to view all 20+ paintings together. They are possibly the most spectacular paintings we have...

How will "Good King Henry" fare as we rate him? We know he spent his reign fighting, drinking and womanising, but what did he do for France? And more importantly, was he really the second coming of Hercules? Let is know what you thought of Henry, and whether he deserves the fate we've given him...⚜️The rendition of "Vive Henri IV" used for this episode was performed by Les Quatre Barbus, released...

We're back!!! And we're starting off a new royal line with Henry IV, the first Bourbon king. Is this stinky, ill-mannered heretic really the hero France has been waiting for after 30 years of civil war? Stay tuned for Part 2 next week, when we will rate Henry and decide whether he deserves the guillotine. ⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make s...

It's time for Margot to truly REBEL.How will Margot's rollercoaster end, and how will she rate compared to the rest of the Valois clan? ⚜️Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonu...

The last surviving of the Valois, this beautiful and intelligent princess is often seen as either a victim or a villain, but the memoirs she left behind and the reevaluation of modern historians show a different side to her story. She was a woman who struggled to find agency and self-determination in a world where the cards were stacked against her from the start. Can Margot break free of her abus...

Au revoir, Valois! We have now ranked all the kings of France belonging to the House of Valois, the cadet branch of the Capetian dynasty which reigned supreme from 1328 to 1589. Before they take a well-earned break and start gearing up for the Bourbon kings, Ben and Eliza step back to re-examine the Valois. Who did the best? Who did the worst? And who escaped the guillotine? Spoilers incoming, obv...

This week we delve into the treacherous, tumultuous and frankly bizarre reign of King Henry III, who is certainly unlike any other king we've seen thus far! Will his entertaining shenanigans earn him a place in the tournament? And how much of his scandalous legacy is historical fact? ⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a rev...

This episode, we close out Catherine de' Medici's life and give her a score. How does this notorious queen measure up against the likes of Charlemagne and Philip Augustus?⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official...

In our first part of the endlessly fascinating life that is Catherine de' Medici's, we chart her rise from an orphaned Italian "merchant's daughter" to the Queen-Mother of Europe's most prestigious kingdom. Next episode, we will conclude the story and ask ourselves, is she really the scheming sorceress history has made us believe? Well ... she's no angel, that's for sure!⚜️   Visit our Wordpress f...

There will be blood.⚜️A summary of the major political figures in this episode (most of whom will be dead by the end):Catherine de' Medici, ruling on behalf of her son Charles IX, a moderating force between the factions (at first)The Ultra-Catholics: Duke Henry of Anjou, Charles IX's precocious younger brother The Duke and Cardinal de Guise, recently kicked out of power Anne de Montmorency, Consta...

After the sudden demise of his father, young Francis II struggles to grasp his new responsibilities as King of France. Meanwhile, his ambitious young wife Mary Stuart and her relatives, the Guise family, make their first big bid for power. And the rumbles of religious unrest in France are only getting louder...⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! M...

He's the husband of Catherine de' Medici, the lover of Diane de Poitiers, the father-in-law of Mary, Queen of Scots. Can Henry II stand out in a period dominated by these legendary women? How will he fare against the might of the Hapsburg Empire? And how will he reconcile his religion with the unlikely allies he has to make?⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact detai...

It's time to pass judgement on Francis I, deciding whether or not King Big-Nose deserves the guillotine! With this monarch, we enter a new age of Protestant rebellions, American colonialism and Hapsburg domination. Did Francis rise to meet these new challenges, or was he just a blustering fool?⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leav...

The long-awaited Renaissance king has finally arrived! This episode we go through the big moments his life from birth to death, from his famous meeting with Henry VIII at the Field of Cloth of Gold to his disastrous imprisonment in Spain. Next episode, we will be examining Francis's reign and legacy in further detail, and determining whether or not he will escape the guillotine!⚜️  Visit our Wordp...

From unwanted daughter to first lady of France, this episode we chart the gradual rise of Louise of Savoy - the mother, mentor and "great regent" of King Francis I. We'll see how she measures up to other French rulers of her time, and see whether she gets to sit in the VIP Box with our other impressive matriarchs.⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more...

Now that we've done his life, let's pass judgement on Louis XII, AKA the Porcupine! Does he deserve a place among the great kings of French history, or is he just another snack for the guillotine?⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on P...

After a life spent in second place to his royal cousins, how will the Duke of Orléans fare with his new promotion to King of France? Stay tuned for Part 2, where we discuss Louis's legacy and rate him, with special appearances from porcupines, vipers and bees (oh my!). ⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Po...

 In Part 2, we learn of Anne's second marriage and her ultimate fate! Does she deserve the score she got? Were the unicorn tapestries inspired by her? Was she the Taylor Swift of her time? Flock to our social media and let us know!  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. Y...

This episode, we take a brief detour from the Valois boys to visit gorgeous Brittany and give our latest queen, Anne, her own episode, as she was also a fierce ruler in her own right, and fought for her independence from a very young age. In Part 1, we learn about Anne's early life, her dangerous liaisons with the Austrian Hapsburgs, and her complicated first marriage to Charles VIII of France. Bu...

As we reach the shocking end of Charles the Affable, we'll see how he measures up to his fellow kings of France. ⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie revi...

 Charles VIII's exciting and storied reign takes us on an adventure (i.e. invasion) of Italy at the height of the Renaissance and all the soap-opera-worthy drama of the Medici, Sforza and Borgia families. In Part 1, we learn what led him to this fateful expedition, and how he did with his great ambition to conquer the Kingdom of Naples. Apologies for the audio quality this episode, which is not up...

It's time for us to close up a loose end and finally announce the winner of the Regency of Madness mini-tournament. And to help refresh our memories, Ben has also trapped Eliza in a quiz! So put on your thinking chapeaux, and get ready for some Valois trivia. SPOILERS (obviously) for everything that happened in our Regency of Madness miniseries. We hope you enjoyed the ride! ALSO, this Saturday, c...

Also called Anne de Beaujeu or Madame la Grande, this princess inherited all the best traits of her father the Universal Spider. Like him she was cunning and ruthless, yet she also had an eye for art and literature, updating the court for the new Renaissance era. Sadly for France, as a woman she would never become queen, but she did rule the realm for almost a decade on behalf of her little brothe...

Louis XI, the Universal Spider, is perhaps the ultimate antihero. We've rooted for him every step of the way as he takes down his enemies and returns France to its former glory. But how will this translate in his scores? Will he beat Charles VII, the father he loathed? And will he be deemed worthy to escape the guillotine?⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details...

France may be out of the Hundred Years' War, but it's not out of the woods, and none knows this better than the suspicious, cynical and sinister character that is Louis XI. After an early life spent bickering with his father and fellow princes, Louis comes to the throne with a vengeance. But will his ambitions get the better of him? Next episode, things get juicy as we delve into the everyday life...