Bard's Eye View

FlimFlam and Wonko review Ten Little Warlords, an episode filled with shenanigans. Body swap shenanigans, missing Godhood shenanigans, angery Gabby shenanigans, and - alas - Joxer shenanigans.

🎶 I looked into your eyes / And my world came tumblin' down / You're the devil in disguise / That's why I'm singin' this song 🎶 

FlimFlam and Wonko review Warrior...Princess...Tramp, another doppleganger episode, because that is a concept that needed to be revisited. Again. And again. And again.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Return of Callisto, aka also the return of Perdicus. With Wonko still recovering from TJ Scott's last directorial effort, will she give this one a fair shake? Let's find out.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Spoilers: we didn't. Have fun, that is. But we did review it, for which I expect some sort of medal.

FlimFlam and Wonko review The Giant Killer, the episode that baby Wonko tried to convince her mum was religious so she could watch it while banned from TV. It didn't work, because Wonko's mum's heid does not, in fact, button up the back.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Remember Nothing, aka Xena It's a Wonderful Life, aka daily life once you hit menopause.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Orphan of War, the season 2 premiere of Xena Warrior Princess. Aka Warlord of the Week and the Ixion Stone. Who's this kid? What happened ten winters ago? How did he get that blond hair? Some of these questions may well be answered in this week's exciting episode of Bard's Eye View.

FlimFlam and Wonko review the first season finale: Is There A Doctor In The House? Why yes, yes there is, and her name is Xena. With shades of Bernie Wolfe. Three people will get that.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Death Mask, because the run of good episodes had to end sometime. You wouldn't think an episode in which we meet a long lost close relative AND Xena's first nemesis could be boring, would you? And yet, here we are.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Callisto, an episode that introduces two extremely important recurring characters and finally reveals the massive mystery of who was the blonde who shot Xena with a poison dart last week. Spoilers: it was Callisto.

FlimFlam and Wonko review The Greater Good, the episode where the producers were finally confident enough in their ability to still be filming next week that they were able to leave a cliffhanger. We tried to rein ourselves in, re: runtime, but failed. We may need outside intervention.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Ties That Bind, not to be confused with Binds That Tie, which is something else altogether. You may be wondering why this episode is so long. It's because we are both desperately in need of a muzzle.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Altared States, the episode that Wonko has been waiting for as this is the one where she thinks the subtext started to become deliberate. Featuring hallucinogens, the voice of God, and a baby-faced Karl Urban.

FlimFlam and Wonko review The Prodigal aka Xena Warrior Bug's Life. Yes, A Bug's Life. Think about it. Seriously, think about i- ::FlimFlam removes Wonko from the stage using a Victorian music-hall hook::

FlimFlam and Wonko review Wonko's new favourite episode of the season, The Royal Couple of Thieves. Featuring a crystal worthy of a Channel 4 gameshow from the 90s, some highly quotable aphorisms, and a chin that could kill.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Mortal Beloved, the follow up to one of our least favourite episodes of the season. The good news is it's better than that one. The bad news is that's a low bar. Make sure you stick around for the blooper reel of this one!

FlimFlam and Wonko review Warrior...Princess, the first doppleganger episode of Xena, unless you count all the other episodes where actors are recycled. Featuring hijinks, hilarious misunderstandings and Xena setting more people on fire than you can shake a molotov cocktail at.

FlimFlam and Wonko review A Fistful of Dinars, the most Indiana Jones-y episode of Xena until the season 2 Indiana Jones episode. Featuring Wonko's best efforts at suggesting ways the plot could have made more sense and, for some reason, David Cameron's sleazy lobbying issues (since superseded by Boris Johnson's sleazy wallpaper issues.)

FlimFlam, Wonko and special guest Goblin review Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards, this young series' first cheesy clipshow. We then attempt a little retrospective of our own, and try not to be sidetracked (largely unsuccessfully.) Content warning: Goblin behaviour.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts, featuring the shittest horse ever and a "city" so tiny it could fit in my front room. Also, the return of a familiar face, or rather a face that would be familiar if they hadn't recast him since the last time we saw this character.

FlimFlam and Wonko review The Black Wolf. Awooooooooooo! Awoooooooooo! Have you had enough awoooooo-ing? Then I have bad news for you about this episode. Featuring my man Salmoneus, not enough Gabrielle, and a triangle we're supposed to think is a wolf.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Hooves and Harlots, the episode that introduced us to the Amazon Nation, aka the women of Greeceland Common. Featuring bad dancing, vitally important poop and surly butches. A cracker.

FlimFlam and Wonko review Death in Chains, in what felt like a truly Sisyphean task. Featuring another soulmate of the week (when will it end?) plus a little straighbaiting (another Xena innovation.)

FlimFlam and Wonko review Prometheus, the most Hercules-y episode of Xena ever. Wonko doesn't take notes. We have technical problems. Have I lowered your expectations enough yet? Then we'll begin.