Ballot with Patrick Gutfield - Where Politics Meets Pop Culture

Patrick Gutfield opens with a solemn tribute to the real meaning of Memorial Day—then gets back to business roasting world leaders and scientific overkill. King Charles makes a rare speech in Canada just as Trump jokes about annexing it, scientists unveil a $10 million atomic clock that’s somehow more punctual than the IRS, and archaeologists open a 2,000-year-old sarcophagus because clearly no on...

Patrick Gutfield breaks down the week’s wildest headlines—from Trump allegedly firing a chef over Caesar salad to the U.S. government accidentally running a massive budget surplus. Plus: a Lufthansa flight flies without a pilot for ten minutes (nope, not autopilot), and the national debt becomes a cosmic concept. It’s a bumpy ride, so buckle up—and maybe keep your own salad opinions to yourself. C...

Trump says Qatar gave him a $400 million jet for free—except he asked for it, picked it out, and now taxpayers are footing the bill. Oh, and he’s building a $175 billion Golden Dome missile shield like this is a Bond movie. Meanwhile, two major newspapers published fake book recommendations made up by AI bots. Fake books, fake gifts, fake news—it’s all here. Hosted by Patrick Gutfield. Come for th...

Ben & Jerry’s co-founder gets kicked out of a Senate hearing for yelling about bombs. Meanwhile, Kansas City loses a legendary BBQ joint to—you guessed it—parking. Harvard accidentally discovers a real Magna Carta worth millions. And somehow, it all makes sense. From ice cream to ancient parchment, it’s another Monday in America. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for th...

President Biden reveals a serious cancer diagnosis, Trump offers unexpected kindness, and Kamala calls him a fighter. But the awkward questions about Biden’s age, memory, and fitness aren’t going away—especially with new audio from his Hur interview. Meanwhile, Trump launches a bizarre crusade against Bruce Springsteen, Beyoncé, and Bono. Plus: Vice President JD Vance visits Pope Leo XIV and gifts...

In today’s episode of Ballot, we dive into the surreal: a Mexican Navy training ship slams into the Brooklyn Bridge. Then it's off to the Vatican, where Vice President JD Vance attends the historic inauguration Mass of Pope Leo XIV—the first American pontiff—just four Sundays after Pope Francis called his theology "garbage." Meanwhile, New Jersey is falling apart (literally) with sinkholes, airpor...

Pope Leo XIV’s call as Supreme Pontiff goes straight to voicemail—because his brother was busy. We break down the viral sibling moment, explore a new AI that guesses your age from a selfie (sorry, Wilford Brimley), and wade into questionable waters as RFK Jr. takes his grandkids for a dip in a bacteria-infested creek. Plus: Steven Seagal's parade cameo in Russia. Yes, really. Come for the sass, st...

From Trump drooling over Qatar’s marble palaces and begging for a new plane, to his latest peace proposal—letting Russia play in the World Cup if they stop the whole “war” thing—it’s been another week of global diplomacy, Trump-style. Meanwhile, we check in on “ChiefsAholic,” the NFL superfan turned bank robber, and head to London, where American candy stores are charging $1,200 for two packs of s...

Patrick Gutfield dives into the day's wildest family dynamics - from Melania Trump's fourteen-day White House attendance record to the new Pope's Trump-supporting brother who shares memes about tarring and feathering Democrats. Plus, the Army's new fitness test that makes civilians voluntarily torture themselves, and why deadlifting one hundred fifty pounds is basically just picking up your entire...

Netflix announces their biggest homepage overhaul in 12 years with AI-powered search and TikTok-style features. Disney reveals plans for their tech-forward Abu Dhabi theme park, their first new resort since Shanghai 2016. And the Golden Globes make history by adding podcast categories - could Joe Rogan win the same award as Meryl Streep? Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. fo...

Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump's shocking appointment of Fox News' Judge Jeanine Pirro as interim US Attorney for Washington DC after Ed Martin's nomination flops. Plus: Qatar gifts Trump a $400 million Boeing 747-8 'flying palace' that's totally, definitely not bugged. And Trump kicks off his second term with a business-focused Middle East tour to Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and UAE - skipping tradi...

Patrick Gutfield skewers Trump's bizarre plan to reopen Alcatraz prison, his one hundred percent tariff on foreign films that has Whoopi Goldberg fuming, and the twenty-four-year-old girlfriend possibly perhaps maybe conceivably controlling Bill Belichick's business empire.   Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experien...

Patrick Gutfield had to work TWICE today on what supposedly is a national holiday!  Did you hear we have a new Pope and he is Pope Leo XIV from Chicago?  We have the details, or at least some AI generated jokes. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you lov...

Patrick Gutfield delivers razor-sharp commentary on Trump's Meet the Press confession about the Constitution, his bizarre AI papal image controversy, and why Sopranos star Joe Pantoliano is joining celebrities fleeing to Portugal.   Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows...

Patrick Gutfield skewers Trump's bizarre crusade against "excessive Barbie ownership" while the former president jokes about becoming the next pope. Meanwhile, San Francisco tech bros are scanning eyeballs to prove you're not a robot—all while serving margaritas!   Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Cal...

Patrick Gutfield delivers a biting commentary on Trump's multi-million dollar birthday parade plans complete with tanks and seven bands. Meanwhile, New Jersey residents can't get REAL IDs before the deadline, and driverless trucks are now operating between Dallas and Houston with "no humans needed!"   Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock a...

Patrick Gutfield hilariously skewers Trump's rambling University of Alabama commencement speech and his executive order slashing PBS funding. From renaming Veterans Day to firing Elmo,   The American Dream might be back, but apparently so is presidential freestyle and public broadcasting paranoia! Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad...

Patrick Gutfield's take on banned cruise passengers, Trump's romantic funeral dinner date with Melania, and baseball's posthumous Pete Rose controversy. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your App...

Why Democrats' impeachment efforts are like bringing water guns to tank battles, Josh Hawley's brilliantly named PELOSI Act, and how to lose a $60 million fighter jet in one easy step. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple u...

Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump declaring himself ruler of the world, Amazon's hasty retreat from tariff transparency, and the record-breaking heat wave turning 21 countries into human rotisseries. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle f...

Patrick Gutfield cracks wise about Trump's suspicious twenty-pound weight loss miracle, Don Jr.'s ultra-exclusive Georgetown club for the super-rich, and Russia's nuclear satellite that's now just a very expensive space disco ball. Plus, find out why Trump's five thousand dollar baby bonus might be the worst investment strategy since pet rocks! Join us for a show where "bringing back Tuesdays" is...

Patrick Gutfield skewers Trump's mission to rescue a holiday that was never missing, plus hilarious takes on the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame's newest members—where OutKast says "Hey Ya" to immortality and Chubby Checker twists his way in at eighty-three. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shar...

President Trump scores VIP seats at Pope Francis's funeral while holding unexpected peace talks with Zelensky. Plus, tonight's White House Correspondents' Dinner goes comedian-free as media tensions escalate. Patrick Gutfield breaks down the diplomatic drama, midnight blue suits, and awkward handshakes in Vatican City that could reshape the Ukraine-Russia conflict. Come for the sass, stay for the...

Patrick Gutfield skewers Bezos launching celebrities into space, Ivanka's astronaut dreams, astronomers discovering possible alien life, Kimmel blaming liberals for Trump's win, and the underground Lego black market Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you...

Patrick Gutfield delivers biting commentary on Vance's Vatican photo scandal, Trump's pay-to-leave immigration plan, Tesla's seventy-one percent profit collapse forcing Musk to abandon government work, and chimps' surprisingly human drinking habits. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Medi...