Ballot with Patrick Gutfield - Where Politics Meets Pop Culture

Patrick Gutfield skips the Labor Day chaos and dives into a different kind of American madness: Attorney General Pam Bondi calling Trump “President” like it’s his first name, New Jersey towns suing a mall for letting people buy pants on Sundays, and blue whales going silent because they’re starving. Also: Marco Rubio has four jobs now, Paramus wants your denim outlawed, and God’s fine with roller...

From mass resignations at the CDC to Trump’s bizarre idea of holding national party conventions before the midterms, things in D.C. are getting weird. Patrick Gutfield breaks down RFK Jr.’s attempt to fire CDC Director Susan Monarez, the total reshuffling of the vaccine advisory committee, and why doing things that are illegal and anti-science seem to be this administration’s favorite hobby. Plus:...

Trump rage-posts about Seth Meyers at two AM like your weird uncle arguing about traffic lights on Facebook. Former SNL cast member Beck Bennett reveals Elon Musk was somehow worse to work with than Donald Trump - and that's saying something. Plus, Trump's team insists he's "inexhaustible" while photoshopping his swollen ankles out of official White House photos. And the President of the United St...

Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump's surprising blessing of the Swift-Kelce engagement, the administration's catchy new names for detention centers (from "Alligator Alcatraz" to "Cornhusker Clink"), Vanity Fair's staff meltdown over a potential Melania cover, JD Vance's creative take on World War Two history, and America's first case of screwworm - because nothing says "welcome to Twenty Twenty Fi...

Marc Maron took aim at Bill Maher on Pod Save America, calling him “desperate” and accusing him of chasing relevance at any cost. Meanwhile, ICE accidentally turned a routine arrest photo into the internet’s latest thirst trap, Donald Trump threatened to revoke ABC and NBC’s FCC licenses over “fake news,” and RFK Jr. is reportedly plotting a COVID-19 vaccine ban. All that and more with Patrick Gut...

Cracker Barrel ditches grandma’s kitchen vibes for a sleek new logo, and the internet unleashes its full fury. Trump reportedly freaked out over clean sheets, locked his own bedroom door against the Secret Service, and possibly hides the Epstein Files under his mattress. MSNBC accuses him of ankle concealment, and the White House hilariously plays along. Meanwhile, a federal judge shuts down Flori...

Trump patrols the streets of D.C. with the military and celebrates “law and order” with a Shake Shack run. Meanwhile, the Vice President launches a crackdown on sunlight, banning “Solar” in all-caps, and Kamala Harris embarks on a 15-city book tour that somehow includes London. Also: the State Department decides to re-vet 55 million visa holders just in case, and no, you still haven’t heard about...

Trump wants to paint the border wall black because it gets hot—just like science says—and Jack White has thoughts about the new Oval Office, which now resembles a pro wrestler’s dressing room designed by Liberace. Meanwhile, Delta and United are being sued for selling “window seats” that don’t come with actual windows. It’s a big week for style over substance, beige walls over actual views, and go...

Donald Trump is furious that museums dare to talk about slavery, calling the Smithsonian “OUT OF CONTROL” and demanding more exhibits about “Success” and “Brightness.” Meanwhile, Oklahoma unveils a fifty-question anti-woke purity test for teachers that was cooked up by PragerU—because nothing says academic rigor like a quiz your uncle found on Facebook. Also: why Trump’s idea of “helping” Ukraine...

President Trump welcomes Ukrainian President Zelensky and top European leaders to the White House in a flashy attempt at diplomacy—no yelling this time! Trump pitches a Putin-Zelensky-Trump summit while Europe floats “Article Five-like” promises no one can define. Plus: Trump’s awkward Nobel Prize cold-call to Norway, and MSNBC’s wild corporate rebrand to “MS NOW.” Is peace on the table or just an...

British Foreign Secretary David Lammy and U.S. Vice President JD Vance got busted for fishing without licenses, sparking fines and a very “chummy” press conference. Vance’s trip got worse: he was rejected by a Michelin-rated pub, faced a protest called “Dance Against Vance,” and ended up retreating to Trump’s Turnberry golf course. Meanwhile, Trump celebrated Social Security’s 90th anniversary by...

Donald Trump is heading to Alaska for his first sit-down with Vladimir Putin since 2018, pitching himself as a diplomatic wedding planner while promising peace talks with Zelensky. Meanwhile, Trump mobilizes the National Guard for “community beautification” patrols in D.C.—because nothing says law and order like soldiers with leaf blowers. And in the culture wars, Taylor Swift’s appearance on Trav...

Trump wants a ballroom that would make Gatsby jealous, RFK Jr. torches half a billion in pandemic preparedness, and 2,300 Hollywood writers—from Spike Lee to John Waters—sign an open letter taking direct aim at the President. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any...

The White House tries to bury Epstein questions with denim ads starring Sydney Sweeney. Ghislaine Maxwell scores a cushy prison transfer, and Trump banishes Obama’s portrait to the political attic. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free...

When the President takes over a city’s police force, feuds with California’s governor over tacos, and still won’t release the Epstein files, you know it’s going to be a weird week. Plus, Harvard scientists officially ruin french fries. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our sho...

President Trump and Vladimir Putin plan an Alaska meeting to “end” the Ukraine war—without inviting Ukraine. Plus, Trump’s new AI chatbot calls January 6 an “insurrection” and fact-checks its own boss, and D.C.’s homeless get told to move “FAR from the Capital.” None of that distracts us from the Epstein Files.  Release them.   Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the joke...

Donald Trump “wins” another golf tournament at his own club—again—despite viral video showing some highly questionable caddie behavior. Rick Reilly calls it cheating, and we call it Tuesday. Then South Park returns with a brutal takedown of JD Vance, Kristi Noem, and Charlie Kirk—featuring sentient Botox, baby oil for Satan, and Cartman doing exactly what you think he’s doing. Also: JD Vance alleg...

Donald Trump takes a bizarre rooftop stroll at the White House while talking about “missiles” and ballrooms. Meanwhile, the government casually announces plans for a nuclear reactor on the moon, and Trump teases a third term with “probably not.” From lunar fission to constitutional fiction, Ballot breaks down the week’s strangest headlines—plus, a reminder: release the Epstein files, you cowards....

Donald Trump discovers Sydney Sweeney is a Republican and declares her jeans ad the “HOTTEST,” then goes on a Truth Social rant targeting Taylor Swift, Bud Light, and Jaguar. Meanwhile, the House Oversight Committee subpoenas Bill and Hillary Clinton over Jeffrey Epstein, and Homeland Security tries recruiting ICE agents using a South Park screenshot. Yes, really Come for the sass, stay for the sa...

Patrick Gutfield covers Trump's bizarre comments about Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt's facial features during a Newsmax interview, the Senate's failed negotiations over Trump nominees after the president told Chuck Schumer to "GO TO HELL," and Doritos' attempt to create the next Cool Ranch with their new Golden Sriracha flavor targeting Gen Z.  Also, release the Epstein Files. Come for the sass...

Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump's Truth Social meltdown after Charlamagne tha God suggested traditional Republicans could use Epstein files to retake the GOP. Plus, the incredible story of Tiah McCreary who legally stole a car dealership's name after they repossessed her vehicle. Also covering the White House's continued resistance to releasing Jeffrey Epstein files and what might actually be i...

From sit-ups to spin zones, President Trump brings back the Presidential Fitness Test with help from WWE, golf pros… and a convicted sex offender. Meanwhile, Kamala Harris launches her 107-day campaign memoir and hints at a 2028 run, to the GOP’s delight. Democrats remain rudderless as Hunter Biden hits the podcast circuit and the Smithsonian quietly scrubs Trump’s impeachments from its exhibits....

Patrick Gutfield unpacks Donald Trump’s latest mental slip-ups, including imaginary chats with dead relatives, forgetting his own appointments, and calling world leaders “Mr. Japan.” Plus, Hulk Hogan’s beer brand tries to rescue Hooters from bankruptcy—because of course it does. Portions of today’s show were made with the help of A.I. and nice hooters. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and bl...

Patrick Gutfield exposes a real-life cat burglar named Leo who’s been stealing socks across New Zealand, then digs into why your electric bill is sky-high (hint: blame A.I.). Plus, Jay Leno misses the days when late-night hosts just told jokes and didn’t pick sides. Portions of today’s show were made with the help of A.I. and a very judgmental utility bill. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—a...

Patrick Gutfield dives into Trump’s wild 1990s friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, the shady modeling agency connections, and that infamous Mar-a-Lago party with 28 young women. Plus, the jaw-dropping $934 million secret Air Force One makeover funded by nuclear missile money. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience...