Bad Princess Movies

For our last episode of the year we're taking a look at Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas, a direct-to-video "midquel" that dares to ask the question "What if the Beast just continued being a huge jerk to Belle?". This is the third direct-to-video offering put out by Disney in the 90s and it definitely shines as an example of what people dislike about the Disney sequels. So join us as...

Nutcracker November is coming to an end and we've saved the best (worst?) for last. We're taking a look at Nutcracker: The Untold Story, also known as Nutcracker in 3D, an infamous box office bomb that Roger Ebert once said "may send children screaming under their seats". Join us as we discuss among other things odd music choices, Christmas-time body horror, and beloved magic pebbles that may or m...

Nutcracker November continues with a look at the Nuttiest Nutcracker, an early CGI entrant from our old friends at Golden Films. The Nuttiest Nutcracker appears to be Golden Films' only foray into the world of CGI animation, and while it went over like a lead balloon we can at least give them points for trying. So come and join us as we discuss the possible VeggieTales connection, annoying charact...

Come one, come all, we're kicking off the holiday season with our first official "Nutcracker November", where we're gonna spend the entire month looking at various adaptations of E.T.A. Hoffman's "The Nutcracker and the Mouse King". First up is this 1995 entrant from Goodtimes Entertainment. This adaptation is one of the more faithful ones out there, which will provide a good foundation for the ma...

In our second Halloween-ish episode we take a look at Twitches Too, a sequel that... really has nothing to do with Halloween aside from the main characters being Witches. Join us as we discuss the aforementioned lack of Halloween representation in this film, unnecessary subplots, and this podcast's most frequently recurring topic: Royalty being royal jerks.

In today's vaguely Halloween related episode we're taking a look at Beauty and the Beast: A Dark Tale, a 2010 movie that seeks to answer that age old question of "What if Belle wore a miniskirt though?". This is an R-rated version of the Beauty and the Beast story that tries to lure you in with gratuitous cleavage on the DVD cover and the promise that a couple of peasants will have their arms ripp...

In this episode we're taking a look at Dazzle, a 1999 movie that was re-released as The Fairy Princess: The Secret of the Crystal in an attempt to trick unsuspecting viewers into thinking that this movie 1. Featured a Fairy Princess and 2. Had some kinda mystery to solve involving a crystal. As it turns out, this movie has neither of those things, but it does have Maxwell Caulfield in a non-Grease...

In today's episode we're taking a look at Princess Arete, a thought provoking film that follows a young Princess as she struggles to not only find her place in the world, but save herself from a self-hating Wizard. Join us for yet another episode of "Kristi makes Bri watch a Princess movie that isn't actually bad, because it's her Podcast and she'll do what she wants with it". We'll discuss hopele...

We're celebrating our return from hiatus by discussing my favourite Barbie film: Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper. While there have been many, many Barbie films that came after it, none have managed to capture my cold-withered heart as strongly as this film. Come and join us as we discuss the overall quality of the Barbie film series, transparently evil Royal Advisors, and our intense 90s-kid...

This week we're taking our first look at Avengers Grimm, a film from the infamous mockbuster movie company The Asylum (Creators of films like Transmorphers, Lord of the Elves, and Sharknado). Avenger's Grimm mixes together two of the mid-2010's hottest shows: Marvel's Avengers and Disney's Once Upon a Time. Join us as we discuss princess costumes (or rather, the lack thereof) silver Lou Ferrigno's...

This week we return to the Swan Princess universe for the 6th film in the series: Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today. Swan Princess 6 isn't as madcap as the previous films but it's important we give it a watch because from here on out the Swan Princess continuity becomes a tightly woven tapestry from which we cannot escape. So join us as we discuss Odette's patronizing attitude towards poor peasants,...

Today we're taking a look at The Princess and the Dragon, a 2018 CGI film with so many loose story threads that we found ourselves weaving together alternative plots. This is one of those films that looks pretty decent visually but fails completely in the story department. Join us as we discuss the disappearing/reappearing Queen, the many baffling song choices, and my inability to let go of a DVD...

This week we're taking a look at the infamous Cinderella III: A Twist in Time. It turns out there's a helluva lot more to this movie than that infamous moment where the Prince throws himself through a window (Though that is definitely a highlight, don't get me wrong). Join us as we discuss Anastasia's awesome character development, nightmare pumpkin rides, and the perks of being able to fit into t...

In the spirit of April Fools the Bad Princess Movie podcast is taking a look at a movie featuring a Prince! Join us as we discuss the secret Kaiju movie Galgameth (1996), an odd little film that somehow managed to win us over despite the terrifying design of it's titular character. We'll be discussing the very unexpected history of the film, dog-hating villains, creepy monster costumes, and so muc...

Bri's Birthday is coming up! To celebrate we're taking a look at a beloved childhood film of hers: Don Bluth's Thumbelina. This film is kinda all over the place story-wise, and yet we both somehow still find ourselves loving it. So join us as we don our rose tinted glasses to discuss overpowering nostalgia, the 1994 Razzie winner for Worst Song, and much more!

This week we journey to the mythical land of North of North to learn the secret of horse magic. We're taking a look at Bella Sara: Emma's Wings, a 2013 CGI movie based off a series of novels which were themselves based on trading cards focused around collecting and caring for magical horses. Join us as we discuss the movie, novels, and trading cards (And most importantly of all, my love for Angela...

This week we're taking a look at Toei Animation's The Little Mermaid, a re-telling of the classic Hans Christian Anderson story that beat Disney to the punch by a little over 10 years. It also beats you with a couple of punches straight to the gut with an ending that's true to the original story (AKA, extremely sad). Join us as we discuss our favourite odd character designs, the failed romance of...

This week Bri and I are left feeling especially old and out of touch as we take a look at Disney Descendants, a film that is in no way intended to be consumed by the average 30+ year old (But we're sure as heck gonna try). Join us as we discuss the Beast's prison camp for villains and their families, standards of beauty in the Disney world and our own, and most important of all: which classic Disn...

In this week's episode we're taking a look at Charming, a fractured fairytale full of potential that veers close to greatness but unfortunately misses the mark (Though it does win points for that electric hurdy-gurdy). Join us as we discuss all the things we liked and didn't like about Charming, including confusing curses, fun side-characters, and that aformentioned hurdy-gurdy.

To kick off our 2021 season we're taking a look at Cinderella and the Secret Prince. This film attempts to build off the original Cinderella story to create a unique re-telling all their own, but as we find out the patchwork quilt of a plot just leaves us scratching our heads trying to piece together all the loose threads. Join us as we discuss confusing prophecies, gentlemanly mice, and the all i...

We're closing out the first season of the Bad Princess Movie podcast with a very off-the-cuff Bonus episode where we talk about the past season (And any other topic that springs to mind). Thank you all for tuning into our first podcast season, you can look forward to season 2 starting up sometime in January!

We cap off our first podcast season with A Swan Princess Christmas, the first CGI entrant in the Swan Princess series released 14 years after the original film. Join us as we discuss the anti-climactic return of the series' most iconic villain, Prince Derek's burning hatred towards cats, and how Christianity apparently exists in the Swan Princess universe. 

As an early Christmas gift to ourselves we're taking a look at a good Princess movie, The Nutcracker Prince. The Nutcracker Prince is a lovely little film that despite a great voice cast and some pretty decent animation failed to find a foothold at the box office. Join us as we discuss the theme of growing up, Roger Ebert's review of the film, and have a brief conversation on the best way to eat s...

This week we're taking a look at Princess Castle, another entrant in the Golden Films filmography. Princess Castle is one of Golden Films' original stories and it shows, with it's very strange time-travel-but-also-dimensional-travel plot that'll leave you scratching your head as to what was intentional and what was just bad storytelling. Join us as we discuss the murder of sentient objects, villai...

To celebrate Halloween we're taking a look at Twitches, a Disney Channel Made-for-TV movie starring real-life twin sisters Tia and Tamera Mowry. Join us as we discuss uncles with evil plans, Canadian children's TV programming in the 90s, and the spookiest thing of all: Our aging 30+ year old bodies.