Bad Movies & Beer

Cooper and Nolan are on a two-man quest for justice this week with MURPHY'S LAW, and they don't care how many 80s cop movie tropes they have to go through to get it!  Thanks to the magic of Charles Bronson (and more of the incredible production value you've come to expect from the Cannon Films Group), what seemed like a paint-by-numbers cop thriller gave the guys a lot more than they expected - mo...

This week Cooper and Nolan take a bite out of the big apple with the legendary 1998 monster movie misfire GODZILLA!  Terrible casting, a wildly implausible story, low-hanging laughs... there's plenty to pick apart in this disaster of a movie.  In FACT, if it hadn't been for the 9.5% ABV beer from Signal Brewery or the Brooklyn bridge making an appearance (Nol loves bridges), this might have seriou...

This week Cooper and Nolan are getting their glow on with Berry Gordy's THE LAST DRAGON - a movie that (despite being harmless fun) almost caused the guys to break out some Kung Fu on each other.  They may never agree on who the audience for this movie is supposed to be, but if you like martial arts action, bright colours, and 80s music, then maybe the answer was inside you the whole time.  Either...

This week Cooper and Nolan explore LIFEFORCE, a failed 80s sci-fi/horror mashup from the director of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Sexy vampires are invading the Earth, and just the thought of it is forcing the guys to ask some tough questions. Is there such thing as too much mouth? Is having your name yelled during sex REALLY a good thing? Do umbrellas look like d***s? And most importantly, would...

It's time to go to work this week, and in the spirit of Lincoln Hawk(s?), Cooper and Nolan weren't going to let anything stop them from making their 25th episode... not even increased Covid restrictions or the challenges of distance recording.  The result was a lot like OVER THE TOP itself - it may not be pretty, but it's a good time.  Creepy family vibes, scenery-chewing performances, nonsensical...

This week Cooper and Nolan get cozy with a long-lost horror film of the 70s... DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS.  A truly bizarre combination of arthouse film and the LOWEST budget horror, this movie will leave you with more questions than answers (questions like: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP GETTING IN THE BED???).  But it'll also make you laugh, which the guys did a LOT while enjoying a beer from All Or Nothi...

It's mind over movie this week as Cooper and Nolan strap themselves in for 2012's TOTAL RECALL, a terrible remake of a beloved 90s classic.  Colin Farrell instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger?  A dull, bleak dystopian Earth instead of a bright, colourful Mars colony?  Endless CGI instead of tangible sets & effects?  Yep, it's as awful as you remember.  The good news is, this episode (featuring a beer...

This week Cooper and Nolan take a bite out of JAWS: THE REVENGE, a movie that asks the question: What if sharks had superpowers?  In all seriousness, it would take something more than human to make sense of this plot, and the guys are going to have to sink or swim as they try to figure out who thought this movie was a good idea and why.  This audience-requested episode is a final look at the Jaws...

This week Cooper and Nolan are rolling out an example of what happens when shock comedy goes wrong with the ridiculous FDR: AMERICAN BADASS!  If you're looking for an accurate, well-told recounting of the life and times of America's 32nd president, then boy have you come to the wrong place.  Instead, the guys get increasingly drunk and attempt to make sense of a movie with Nazi werewolves, firesid...

This week Cooper and Nolan have their claws out for CATWOMAN, which might just be the worst superhero movie from an era of exceptionally bad superhero movies.  Blame it on missed opportunity; what could have been a credible, action-packed story of female empowerment instead became a CGI-filled laughingstock.  No wonder it brought home four Razzie Awards (including Worst Picture)!  It's a truly ter...

This week Cooper and Nolan swing by sorority row for some good old fashioned 80s horror with NIGHT OF THE CREEPS! What's the only thing worse than zombies invading a college town? Zombies caused by alien slugs, which is just one of many strange choices in a movie that includes cryogenically frozen corpses, vanity license plates, and police issue flamethrowers. The guys try to make sense of it all...

Cooper and Nolan are back from their mid-season break and getting right back into the action with the Jean Claude Van Damme martial arts classic BLOODSPORT!  Hear the guys break down Frank Dux's journey from humble beginnings as a terrible child actor to the absolute peak of the underground fighting world, complete with all of the montages, synth music, and action movie clichés you would expect fr...

Cooper and Nolan weren't planning on recording during their break, but when the producers of MOTORPSYCHO MANIACS reached out and asked them to give it a look, they decided it was the perfect excuse for a BONUS EPISODE!  It's pretty clear the guys had no idea what they were getting themselves into with this bizarre, low-budget homage to '70s exploitation films, but thanks to some liquid courage fro...

This week the guys dive into a movie that might be their most controversial choice yet - the 1991 surfing crime masterpiece POINT BREAK!  And before Cooper and Nolan head into THEIR mid-season break, they're going to try to figure out whether or not Keanu Reeves has any real-life football skills, which Swayze is the sexiest Swayze, and as usual - who the REAL hero of this movie is.  They'll also b...

This week Cooper and Nolan are celebrating the holiday season with one of the most controversial Christmas movies ever - SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT!  It's been called worthless, sleazy, exploitative, and downright offensive, but could it also be a groundbreaking portrayal of PTSD and its effect on developmental psychology?  Probably not, but that won't stop us from trying to make the case!  With bi...

This week Cooper and Nolan travel back to the days of high adventure when they discuss CONAN THE DESTROYER!  It's Arnold Schwarzenegger's second outing as Conan, and he's got a lot to deal with - cannibals, wizards, André the Giant - not to mention the unenviable task of protecting a princess' virginity when NBA Hall of Famer Wilt Chamberlain is around.  It's exactly the kind of low budget 80s non...

This week Cooper and Nolan kick things into high gear when they discuss MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, the first (and only) film directed by Stephen King.  It's the age old story of man vs. machine, when a passing comet somehow causes the Earth's technology to turn against its makers.  Luckily Emilio Estevez is here to save the day with his heroic behavior (or at least lovemaking), and even more luckily there...

This week the guys are pouring one out for COCKTAIL, the 1988 Razzie award "winner" for Worst Picture!  It's drama with a capital "D" when a young Tom Cruise moves to the big city and tries to make his bartending dreams come true.  Will he find the fortune he's looking for?  And more importantly, will he bed enough women to satisfy Nolan's expectations for this movie?  Hear the answer for yourself...

This week the guys get scared silly by the horror/comedy hybrid TALES FROM THE CRYPT: DEMON KNIGHT.  In keeping with the tone of the TV show, it's got the kind of gory special effects, groan-worthy jokes, and gratuitous nudity that a whole generation stayed up late to see.  It also inexplicably features multiple appearances by the "Wildcat" sound, which makes about as much sense as Billy Zane not...

This week Cooper and Nolan man up to one of the all-time movie misfires - CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC.  Billed as "The Movie Musical Event of the 80s", it was more like the dying gasps of the 70s.  Either way, the performances, fashion, and wildly misplaced optimism will take you back to a time when anything seemed possible.  Fame, fortune, platinum records... this episode (featuring a beer from Lost Cra...

This week Cooper and Nolan try to make sense of a movie that doesn't know what it is - probably because of the SEVEN different writers & directors telling SEVEN different stories.  It's THE DUNGEONMASTER, and it features (in no particular order): 1980s workout classes, supercomputers, solid laser beams, Bull from Night Court, claymation, a New York City serial killer, mischievous dwarves, heavy me...

This week Cooper and Nolan sink their teeth into what may be the worst James Bond movie of all time - MOONRAKER!  007 in space!?!? Yes, instead of flying around the globe, this time (thanks to the popularity of Star Wars) James Bond will LITERALLY BE FLYING AROUND THE GLOBE.  Featuring a beer from Left Field Brewery, this highly classified episode has been given a license to kill... the James Bond...

Halloween is just a few days away, and in honor of the recently released Scream Factory box set (and our eighth episode), Cooper and Nolan are taking a stab at FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN.  Drift along with us as we watch Jason carve up a literal boatload of teenage stereotypes and try to figure out what all of the heavy symbolism means (or if any of this is actually happening...

Cooper and Nolan have their work cut out for them this week as they try to convince the world that FACE/OFF is a bad movie (despite being a massive hit).  But thanks to the ridiculous plot, John Woo clichés, and unhinged glory of peak Nic Cage, they might just have a case!  Good or bad, Archer or Troy, this episode (featuring a beer from Wellington Brewery) is a winner no matter whose side you're...

This week the guys take a trip back to Nolan's childhood when they say hello to KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE. Questions abound, like is this movie more funny/scary or scary/funny?  Was it possible to be considered a perv in the 80s?  And how had Cooper never seen this before???  This episode features a beer from Amsterdam Brewery and the answers to only some of these questions, because if a movi...