Bad Faith Media

What better way to start the new year off than with the latest and greatest from Donald James Parker? This week we watched Pickleball Princess, which turned out not to be a religious movie, except in the sense that pickkeball seems to be Donald's new religion. Pickleball is basically the Messiah in this movie. It can cure racism and build bridges, but it also has a deadly side.

Jesus' diner has closed for business, so now he's vacationing in Thailand and making new friends. You know what that means - it's the hit sequel to The Encounter, only this time, Jesus is taken hostage. David A. R. White is here too, as the world's worst policeman, but he's tied to a chair for most of the movie. Thankfully, Jesus can break the tension by revealing everyone's deepest darkest secret...

Kids these days, they're 29 and have major social media followings, am I right? Thankfully some parents out there still know how to raise their kids right, by waiting until their birthday, leaving the country, cutting them off, and forcing them into a life of poverty and homelessness until they can learn how to put God first. Dan, Alexa, and Ryan learn that what really matters in life is not money...

In which Ryan continues the saga of Harry Potter, very continuingly.

It's all very simple: Satan drives a semi-trailer truck, which he uses to kill a lady so that her infant daughter Sheri can someday grow up and be diagnosed with a terminal illness that leads her to become a Pentecostal superhero. With her newfound powers, Sheri stops middle-aged high school bullies, hypnotizes TV executives, and shuts down whole movie productions. And Satan hates it! So he sniffs...

A faith-based movie with F bombs! And murder! And angels that seem to be slacking off on their job of stopping terrible things from happening. This week, Dan, Alexa, and Ryan watch their first R-rated faith-based film, which comes with an important lesson about forgiveness. Or something. There's also a murder mystery that goes nowhere, a detective who does nothing, and a woman who knows everything...

Imagine an episode of Pinky and the Brain where Brain feeds Pinky to a cat, and you have a basic idea of what this Christian cartoon is like. Nero is killing all the Christians in Rome, and that means it's time for some hilarious antics where four probably-orphans have to run for their lives to avoid being sold into slavery. And it's all very wacky and zany! This was a listener request! If there's...

Ever wondered what it would be like if Jesus made you a cheeseburger? What if it was the most delicious cheeseburger you'd ever had? And what if Jesus ruined it by saying weird things about genocide? There's all this and more in this week's movie, The Encounter, in which Jesus fulfills his lifelong dream of becoming a small business owner. Unfortunately, the local law enforcement is giving him tro...

How did life begin? It's a question no scientist has ever thought about. What are scientists hiding? And do they have what it takes to win $5000 of Ben Stein's money? I might be mixing some things up. In any case, this week we watched Stein's 2008 propaganda-fest, which boldly defends the right of scientists everywhere to advocate for a vaguely defined theory without even bothering to tell us what...

One's a skeptic, the other's a lapsed Christian. Now they have to work together to get to the bottom of a mystery about UFOs. Sounds like a recipe for hijinks! But we'll never know, because the movie skips all that. Instead we have to spend endless hours in their magazine's office listening to people drone on about apple juice and the rapture. Why do we ever let Ryan pick the movie for the week? W...

God's Not Dead is back, and this time,  he's out for vengeance . Reverend Dave has to face his deadliest foe yet: Common Core. It's all very simple: The government wants you to think that its founding documents were written by rich old white slaveowning men, so that you'll be disgusted with them, reject our founding documents, and agree to let the government take away your freedom. But the truth,...

What happens when a tough-minded skeptic sets out to disprove Christianity? And what if that story is told by evangelicals who don't seem to know how tough-minded skeptics actually think? And what if it's based on a true story? That's right, it's the personal account of author Lee Strobel's journey from atheism to Christianity, although calling the character in this film "tough-minded" seems a bit...

Die Hard on a plane, but with the rapture! If there's one thing we can't get enough of, it's movies about the rapture that are set mostly on an airplane where the central premise of the film is treated as a surprise plot twist near the end. Sadly, this movie does not feature Nicolas Cage, but it does have Eric Roberts, who is almost as good! Basically, some guy named Chad gets the mark of the beas...

This week we're going back to the year 1890, when podcasts were more godly, and all people cared about was their unpublished manuscripts. Dr. Russell Carlisle wants to teach people to follow Jesus' morals without mentioning Jesus' name every two seconds, but his baldest colleague is so outraged at this idea that he sends Dr. Carlisle over a hundred years into the future, to the dystopian hellscape...

Try as we might, we just can't seem to escape the Kirk Cameron vortex. Why do we do this to ourselves? Do we enjoy the suffering? Is there something wrong with our brains? Perhaps if the three of us had received an education directly from our parents, this never would have happened. We'd all be outside, tearing up the countryside in our four-wheelers, flying gliders, running businesses, and sharin...

He's already saved Christmas. Now he has to save his own marriage. No, we're not talking about Ernest P. Worrell, we're talking about someone with far less dignity than him. That's right, we're back with another Kirk Cameron movie. This week we watched the 2008 Christian film Fireproof, about a fireman whose marriage is failing due to the fact that he is sort of a horrible person to live with. Fir...

Gramps is still at college! And now people are dying!

It's the 50th episode of Bad Faith Media, and it seemed like as good a time as any to finally watch the highly anticipated Gramps Goes to College, starring the one and only Donald James Parker. This time, DJP is taking on the liberal education system. More specifically, he's about to drop some creationist truth bombs on a bunch of alcoholic atheists by using out-of-context quotes from people who w...

You loved when Kevin Sorbo got run over at the end of God's Not Dead. You were thrilled when Judge Ernie Hudson "allowed it" in God's Not Dead 2: God's Not Deader. Now, it's time for Dan, Ryan, and Alexa to take on the third installment in the GND franchise: God's Not Dead with a Vengeance, better known as God's Not Dead 3, officially known as God's Not Dead: A Light in the Darkness. Everyone's fa...

This one's for all the haters who said we'd never watch a Christian movie where Satan explodes violently out of a human body! That's right, we're watching MEGIDDO, the smash hit sequel to The Omega Code. It's the Godfather II of Antichrist movies, and not only that, but it's a bold sequel that dares to retcon just about everything that happened in the first film. Let's just be clear: We love this...

What if the Blair Witch became obsessed with evangelical purity culture? In that case, you'd probably wind up with our movie for this week. It's our first found-footage Christian horror film. It's called The Lock In, and it's quite bad. Imagine Paranormal Activity, only all the activity is caused by a porno magazine. Not only that, but the "activity" is mostly limited to inexplicable growling and...

This week the gang takes on the world of Christian stand-up comedy, sort of. We watched an episode from a Pure Flix series called "Pure Comedy" that focuses on ventriloquist/comedian Kevin Johnson. Is it actually faith-based comedy? It's hard to say. All we know for sure is that it's not Kevin's fault when he bombs. In fact, it's probably your fault. People on cruise ships like his comedy, so why...

This week we're finally talking about everybody's favorite faith-based produce. We're joined by comedian Jake Leizear to explore the world of VeggieTales. We ponder its confusing title, its main characters with old-gay-married-couple vibes, and its unfortunate destiny to become a soulless piece of corporate media garbage, courtesy of its new owners. Just wait until you see what they've done with Y...

After making some big announcements regarding our recent week off, the podcast crew gets back to doing what they do best: suffering through bad movies about the apocalypse. If you took the story of Left Behind and removed all the rapture stuff, the end result would be this week's offering, The Omega Code. It's the story of how one man devotes his whole life to saving the earth, only to suddenly gr...

We were still feeling weird about our Gary-Busey-in-a-leash-and-dog-kennel movie from last week, so we decided to purify our hearts by learning about the evils of kissing. Have you ever heard about a woman getting married at the age of 22 and asked yourself, "I wonder what her story is?" Well that's exactly the story our movie this week sets out to tell, and OH MAN is it boring. Pamela's Prayer is...