Back to the Barre

“This is not an opportunity to set the record straight, HERE is the opportunity now 10 years later to set the record straight,” explains Christi as even when the moms got to explain themselves, they were never REALLY allowed to. Consequently there's no hell for our Bitches quite like a Dance Mom's Reunion episode, and Season 3's "Tell All" is a two parter to make matters worse. It's always an excu...

“God, the first statement [of the episode] irritated me” says Kelly as she straps in for "The Mother of All Specials", Dance Mom's own Mother's Day celebration. For a show with plenty of moms you'd imagine the producers could focus in on pretty much any one of them, and yet this is an Abby centric episode. As Abby says, "Whom knows more about being a mother than Abby Lee Miller?" As these Bitches...

"How does Abby get to call him an ass like that and then acted shocked when he responds back," wonders Christi as things begin to go downhill fast on the second half of "Candy Apple Showdown". With the ALDC arriving at the Masters of Dance Art Invitational, Kelly preps for what remains one of her worst Dance Mom memories. Things get off to a rocky start with Cathy and Vivi M.I.A., so Abby has to s...

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod www. LumeDeodorant.com “This is a drinky episode,” says Christi as she announces drink four only three lines into the first page of the "Candy Apple Showdown" notes. Though Bitch #1 and #2 are both incapable of drinking along this week, un...

"The foot is done!" exclaims both Christi and Kelly as the arduous Mackenzie's Broken Foot Saga finally comes to a close. After all, would Melissa let Mackenzie's foot stay broken if it meant not getting to dance on The View? On Season 3's "The View From the Top", the ALDC hits New York for a special appearance on The View that is being guest hosted by Abby, all the while prepping for Masters of D...

"Do you want to vomit on her, or do you want to vomit on her?” asks Christi as things are as painful as ever on "May I Have This Dance". After coming in second yet again, Abby is fed up with everyone (but Maddie) and is starting to get particularly cruel with her comments during Pyramid (of course except for Maddie). Paige's treatment of the flag was supposedly so bad that she did "a disservice to...

"Life is just a lesson," remarks Christi, "My Instagram bio literally says I make mistakes...some are on TV." At least she can be assured that on the second half of "The Politics of Dancing" the only one making mistakes as per usual is Abby, who is determined to pit the kids against one another no matter the cost. As the ALDC arrives in Philadelphia for Powerhouse Dance Invitational, Abby is alrea...

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] at  LumeDeodorant.com ! #lumepod "You are 15 you piece of shit," is not exactly what Abby said to Brooke, but Christi couldn't have summed up the mood better as Abby froths at the mouth after losing to Cathy. As "The Politics of Dancing" begins, Abby is already thr...

“Somebody has to fight with her,” remarks Kelly as we go through the motions of introducing Kristie Ray into the mom group on the second half of "Watch Your Back, Mack". Even though the moms (and especially our bitches) are on their best behaviors, tensions still seem to mount as Kristie begins to try and push the mom's every button. Though the show implies Melissa should be the one worried as Asi...

"You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to postmates a drink," Christi jokes as she's booze-less going into what may be one of the strangest episodes of Dance Moms yet. Season 3's "Watch Your Back, Mack" is most notable for the introduction of Asia Monet Ray, the newest member of the ALDC and a former competitor on Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. But to these bitches it will always be best re...

Due to techimical difficulties, we're replacing this week's epsiode with two bonus After Party episodes. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Due to technical difficulties, this week's episode is being replaced by two After Parties. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“In a 30 second span, two of the most iconic Dance Moms moments happen back to back,” Christi exclaims as "She's a Maniac" has those and more iconic moments to spare. To mark the occasion (and to celebrate one of her few episodes where she doesn't suffer) the Bitches welcome Paige Hyland to the Barre! Abby brings in Broadway dancer Rachelle Rak to choreograph the Golddigga group number. It's a not...

"I can’t drink I’ll die!" laments Christi as she nurses a migraine while trying to still overcome the fact Jill really seemed like she wanted Kendall to play Rosa Parks. It's the second half of "The Apple of Her Eye" and it's time for Power House Dance Competition where the ALDC is up against Cathy's boys once more, and this time losing to Cathy isn't an option. The last time Abby went head to hea...

Order your official Back to the Barre merchandise by Monday, November 27 to guarantee Christmas delivery!! https://www.jakenothing.com/collections/back-to-the-barre XO, Christi & Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Red plastic rhinestone crap, blue plastic rhinestone crap," utters Christi as one of her most iconic scenes comes into play as these bitches cover the first half of the massive Season 3 episode "The Apple of Her Eye". Joining our moms is none other than newly dubbed Bitch #3, Jill Vertes! There could be no better guest for the occasion as this episode features one of Jill's most infamous attempts...

"We're not very smart, we haven't done Back to the Barre for a while," Christi confesses as the bitches get ready to ease back into the Barre with a quick look at some of Season 3's Promos. It's been a busy few weeks of filming and traveling for both Christi and Kelly. Between producing and Dance Moms Reunions, they managed to miss a whole episode! But fear not Bitchettes as this week they're diss...

"Why do we care?" Christi asks as Bitch #1 and Bitch #2 have it out for Mackenzie on the second half of Camouflaged Maneuvers. Melissa reveals Mackenzie's sprained ankle will keep her from performing for a suspiciously short 72 hours. Abby is upset by this turn of events and insists that Mackenzie sit in a wheelchair for the duration of the episode. But before the moms can even process why the ALD...

“If we did this whole episode it would be like The War and Peace of Dance Moms," warns Christi as our duo begin tackling the first part of the two hour epic "Camouflaged Maneuvers". The ALDC returns for practice after a brief break with a longer than expected five days to go until their next competition. Abby is frustrated with second place, even Pyramid topper Brooke is only given backhanded nice...

"I'm so uncomfortable," Christi says speaking for us all as the moms take Abby on a speed dating excursion in "All's Fair in Love and War". Supposedly love is in the air and Abby decides to center this week's group dance on a tragic love story with Your Dream Will Be My Dream. While the moms welcome the return of Nick Dobbs to bolster the performance, Abby's choice to center the piece around a dyi...

“This is either the most deranged show of all time or the greatest piece of entertainment to ever hit the airwaves," says Christi as this seemingly sad episode continues to go off the rails as the moms must confront the death of Broadway Baby and one depressed Abby. Christi and Kelly are supposedly still not on good terms, but as they'll attest now they'd long made up by this point so the show mus...

“As the leader of the Bitchettes, I’d like to issue a blanket apology to everyone I’ve let down," Christi laments as she endures Episode 8 of Season 3 "You've Been Unfriended". The mere thought of having a heart to heart moment with Melissa of all people brings a shiver down Christi's spine, but this episode remains a sore spot as it not only features some horrific treatment of Chloe, but contains...

"Chloe and Paige took their first dance class 20 years ago, probably early September right after Labor Day," Christi remembers as these moms realize they've been officially been friends for 20 years this month! Few friends have ever gone on quite the journey that these two have, but 20 years later they're still the baddest bitches in town! With the help of their trusty intern Matt, Christi and Kel...

"I'm like five feet behind everybody, like you guys go ahead I'm just going to stay back here," Kelly remarks as the second half of "Rotten to the Core" sees bottles and bags being hurled left and right. Cathy's limo entrance in Detroit draws the immediate ire of the moms, which only worsens as Jalen's dad starts to pick a fight with Abby. If that wasn't enough, Holly requests that Abby acknowledg...

"I'm recapping this week and I have to say, it's not all that bad! says Christi. "Yeah, cause you ain't in it!" Kelly points out. It's Christi's dream come true as she can shit-talk all she wants and shares none of the embarrassment as Dance Moms Season 3 Episode 7 begins. Abby is thrilled by Cathy's defeat in the previous competition, but takes the opportunity to chastise the girls for only winni...