Ayla and Potato3s: A Nightly Message From Your Best Friend

Today I tried making homemade pasta for the first time—it totally flopped, but I learned a lot and laughed through it. That led me to think about how far I’ve come in five years: painting, podcasting, baking, Reiki, yoga, writing, creating meditations, and just becoming someone I actually like. I used to measure everything by money, but now I see that doing it—living it—is the real credit. This ep...

Today’s episode is quieter, more grounded — just me reflecting on open windows, fresh air, and finally deciding to move out before my birthday. I talk about what it feels like to release old dreams (school, acting) and remember what still calls to me: hosting, connecting, creating. My outlook’s shifting — not spiraling, just softening into trust. I don’t know how it’ll all work, but I’m learning t...

Today I did something wild — I went to my first open mic comedy night! I wasn’t great, but I was brave, and that counts. I also faced some hard money truths, sat with disappointment, and still chose to believe things can shift. Hope feels tender right now, but it’s still here. I’m learning that progress doesn’t always look like profit—it sometimes looks like showing up with $6 and heart.

Today I let myself spiral—but gently. I didn’t force productivity; I wrote, painted, meditated, and let the day unfold. Somewhere between counting backwards from 200 and tearing up at The Little Mermaid, I realized I don’t have to know all the answers yet. I can just be—confused, hopeful, alive. I can let things take shape in their own time. So this one’s for the part of us that’s still figuring i...

Today I took myself on a little accidental pilgrimage of self-care. I went to the New York Bridal Market, wandered by the water, and somehow ended up at the A-R-T-E Museum—an immersive art exhibit that turned into a soul bath. I used the waterfall room to cleanse my insecurities, the flower room to receive my flowers, and the sun room to recharge. Somewhere between walking 7 miles , coloring a pho...

Today was one of those “I’m doing my best” days — I turned in homework late but still proud, cleaned my floors, tried monkfish, and picked out my dream Nikes (Superflys!). I talked about perfectionism, confusion as safety, and how I’m slowly learning to show up — for my business, my art, and myself. Sometimes you just need to do ten minutes a day, smile at your dog, and keep believing it’s all gon...

I talk about pressure and how it builds quietly, even when I’m doing everything right. I share what it’s like to be the one everyone calls to fix things, but not knowing who to call for myself. I read the letter I wished my family would’ve written to me, and remind myself that love doesn’t need conditions. Sometimes the most healing thing is letting myself be enough, even when I don’t finish the h...

Today I slowed down and let myself just… be. I talked about my model & actor boot camp, my dog’s hilarious love for Pedigree food, and how her unconditional love feels like medicine. Somewhere in between brushing her beard and thinking about moving out, I realized that maybe this pause—this break—isn’t a setback. It’s grace. Sometimes you don’t have to have it all figured out; you just have to acc...

Today felt like a quiet kind of happy. I got boba for the first time in forever, had this cold pork feet salad that was way better than it sounds, restarted Kundalini yoga, and even finished my message early. I thought about how much it means just to have someone to talk to—someone who listens without judgment. I watched Wicked (finally!) and didn’t cry, which made me wonder if I’ve just been lear...

I talk about the supermoon energy, depression, and how I keep finding small ways to care — for myself, my dog, and the people I love. I pull chakra cards, pray again, and realize that love, support, and transformation all start with an open heart. This one’s quiet, raw, and real — kind of like a late-night prayer wrapped in conversation

T I talked through what it feels like to have your life up in the air — not sure what’s next, not sure where home is, and trying not to be too hard on myself in the middle of it. I caught myself realizing that maybe my “procrastination” isn’t laziness, but fear of disappointment. I’m learning to let that be okay. I made gnocchi, meditated (twice), did my shadow work, and said a little prayer — for...

Today was slow, sleepy, and surprisingly tender. I tried fennel for the first time (verdict: stalks yes, bulb no), made peace with taking naps three days in a row, and reminded myself that healing doesn’t happen overnight. I’ve been comparing my progress in class to others, but I’m learning that one week in, showing up is enough. Between affirmations, designing, and dog walks under a supermoon I c...

Day 2 of my 46 new things: I tried a new flavor of Bloom (juicy orange!) and accidentally turned the whole day into an orange theme — orange drinks, orange lessons, orange surrender. I cried on a call I almost skipped, finished editing my 500-count meditation, and reminded myself that progress isn’t about crashing out. It’s about showing up, softly, one thing at a time.

was totally convinced my assessment was due today, spent hours fighting with a glitchy website, and nearly crashed out , only to find out it’s not due for three more weeks. 😂 It turned into a lesson about publishing as I go, giving myself grace, and trusting that things work out (even if not how I plan).

Hey, my little potato 💛 Today I finally recorded my first guided meditation for Insight Timer (counting backwards from 500!). I also share a messy, funny story about getting sick at dinner, reflect on how my friendships have grown, and talk about dreaming of vacations, soul tribe, and finishing my to-do list. It’s real life in the messy middle.

Today I did something big for me: I called bill collectors, unpacked my suitcase at my brother’s house for the first time in years, and literally took up space. I’m facing debt, tasks, and fears head-on, planning 46 new experiences before my 46th birthday. I’m proud of me

I spent the day at the park with a friend, swapped sandwich recommendations, reflected on finishing 40 days of Kundalini yoga, and realized I’ve accomplished more than I thought—80+ paintings, Substack articles, workouts, and showing up for myself. I’m taking a week to reset, list what I’ve been avoiding, and keep building the life my inner little girl will be proud of

Today I shared how friendships , both old and new are shaping me. From park conversations that feel like time warps, to little moments with the dog who adores me, to realizing my Virgo-level lava cake hacks, it’s all about gratitude, healing, and being seen. God’s got me. I got you. We’ve got us .

In this episode, I sit down with my six-year-old self through a letter , a conversation across time. I tell her the things I wish someone had told me back then: that she’s brave, that what happened wasn’t her fault, that she’s smart, creative, intuitive, and worthy of love. I share how the very things that once got me in trouble : distraction, curiosity and imagination became superpowers later in...

I talked about what it’s like to finally feel safe after years of walking on eggshell s: learning to trust ease, receive hugs, share my truth without gaslighting, and let daily moments slowly rebuild my confidence .

Today I let myself slow down and rediscover simple joys such as good food, quiet parks, and honest reflection. I joined a dating app, thought about my routines, remembered how far I’ve come, and chose to keep going one more day.

I arrived in New York with $1.15, trust, and a dog waiting to love me. Things worked out better than expected : money showed up, support appeared, and I felt a quiet joy. This season is about replacing old patterns with new trust .

It’s 3 a.m., and I’m running on excitement more than sleep. I’m heading to New York, and even though I’ve been before, this trip feels different , like a turning point. My dad unexpectedly stood up for me about how my brother takes me for granted, which hit deep. I baked, packed, reapplied for food stamps, and even considered a tattoo. I’m nervous but prepared, trusting that opportunities will unf...

Today I did a thing, I launched my own Substack with a $5.55 subscription and a ‘Sacred Spark’ founder circle. It felt so different to start something with the intention of being paid. I talked for hours with my sister-in-law, shared my art journey from coloring books to painting, and even gave her crayons and a formula to try. My body’s sore from assisted pull-ups, but my heart’s full from creati...

I tell you about a weird gym day (shirt inside-out, sauna, +5 lbs muscle), bake brown-butter toffee cookies, and wrestle with pouring from an empty cup aka how to care for myself while still giving to others. Short, messy, grateful.