Authorized Novelizations Podcast

It's what the title says: Alien Romulus with cherished friends!

Lord forgive us, we’re going back to the old us. This week on Authorized, we kick off our Burton Apes coverage by discussing the novelization of the 2001 remake with Ben Hosley. It’s fine, but why is this movie mostly about a love triangle?  Check out Ben’s Clothing Line: https://congratyoulations.com/ Listen to Blank Check With Griffin and David: https://audioboom.com/channels/4278829-blank-check...

They came to us randomly, decreed by fate. At long last, we make order of the chaos.

It's the season finale of the random novelizations season! Maura Kidwell has The Wheel experience in reverse. She gets to choose My Girl, then has to take a spin. Also! What the F*ck Did I Draw? Part III Check out Maura's website for her acting, directing, and audition coaching! : https://www.maurakidwell.com/ Subscribe to our Patreon!: patreon.com/authorizedpod Follow us on Twitter: Twitt...

John Cribbs returns to spin the wheel, and it gives him a novelization he's read before. Overbye thinks it rules, Hannah doesn't. They vie for the swing votes of Johns Goodman and Cribbs.

We swore off ADF after Alien 3, but listener Marcus paid for us to do it on the Patreon. It was actually fun! But we still think he's bad. And we brought Sarah Welch-Larsoan along for the suffering. Read the Alien book Sarah wrote. About Alien! : https://wipfandstock.com/9781725283008/becoming-alien/ Force us to read a novelization via our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/authorizedpod/members...

The wheel gave us Charlie's Angels 1! The book is good as heck. Check out Mark's Books! https://markstaywrites.com/ Subscribe to our Patreon!: patreon.com/authorizedpod Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/authorizedpod Instagram: instagram.com/authorizedpod Next time on Authorized: Sarah Welch-Larson opens the Alien: Covenant

It's the novelization of a TV movie from the 70s. All hail wheel. Jesse Hassenger returns to discuss hauntings, possessions, and the lowest resolution film we've ever watched for this show. Check out Jesse's podcast The New Flesh: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-new-flesh-horror-movies-horror-news-scary-movie/id1050862266 Check out Jesse's podcast Sportsalcohol.com: https...

Follow Kris on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/krisluvspixels/videos

Book made me want to throw hands

The wheel gave us a great movie, with one of those decades later novelizations. We are not so positive on it!

It's Christmas in July on Authorized! Believe it or not, we didn't plan to put out a Christmas episode on July 4th, the wheel simply decreed it. And we must abide. This week, Leah Marilla Thomas returns to discuss the novelization of Jingle All the Way and it is weirdly high quality. You just never can tell which of these things are gonna be good. Subscribe to our Patreon!: patreon.com/aut...

The wheel finally serves us something we've actually heard of. This week on Authorized, Patrick Willems returns to discuss the novelization of Alien 3, and Hannah delivers her dissertation on the sins of Alan Dean Foster. Check out Patrick’s Youtube Channel! : ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@patrickhwillems⁠ Subscribe to our Patreon!: patreon.com/authorizedpod  Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/auth...

How do you get more listeners, and really become a hit podcast? You put out a 2 hour 40 minute episode on the novelization of 1967’s The Incident! The Wheel gave us this little known film, in which Martin Sheen makes his cinematic debut. It’s pretty good! Also, it is 80% character introductions. But once you get past how annoying that is, it’s cool, actually. Mel Kassel returns to discuss whether...

What if the story of King Arthur didn’t have magic? It might go a little bit like this. Richie Owens returns to discuss a pretty exhausting novelization of a pretty exhausting film. I mean, it recreates the experience of watching the movie. Kind of successful on that front?  Check out Richie's podcast The Moving Screen, where he plays basketball with a guest while discussing a movie! : https:/...

The wheel delivered Joe Saunders the strangest book imaginable, and we found a lot to like in it. This week on Authorized, we tackle the Licorice Pizza of its time, Sooner or Later. A TV movie that launched a minor star, and a novelization written by the guy who wrote the Sesame Street theme song.

What if James Bond was a comedy of manners? It might resemble The Glass Bottom Boat, a terribly named (There's barely any friggin' boat!) thriller almost called The Spy in Lace Panties (Even worse!!). We try to explain this movie no one has ever seen enough that the audience can follow, but there's really only so much you can do. The randomization wheel is a scamp! Matt Fisher returns, and John Go...

It's the first randomly selected novel of the season...and it flippin' stinks! Kelly Nugent returns to discuss a fairly funny movie and an author that simply couldn't be bothered. Check out Kelly's podcast What Even is This? : https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/what-even-is-this-podcast/id1686043147 Subscribe to our Patreon!: patreon.com/authorizedpod Follow us on Twitter: Twitt...

You'll have to listen to find out.

Leah leveraged her friendship to talk us into reading the novelization of the 2023 live action Little Mermaid. Why? It's still very unclear. Subscribe to our Patreon!: patreon.com/authorizedpod Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/authorizedpod Instagram: instagram.com/authorizedpod This Monday on Authorized: We spin the wheel. You have no idea.

Johnny used to cut ads for softcore spoofs so we watched the Planet of the Apes one. We have regrets.

We close out our first (of 3!!) Planet of the Apes miniseries by tackling an uncomfortable hefty behemoth of a Tertiary Tome: Death of the Planet of the Apes. Clocking in at 450 pages, this touts itself as the story of Col. Taylor's final days, but what it doesn't tell you is that there are 30 other plots. Book is all over the place. We enlist the help of John Cribbs once again to walk us...

It's a conspiracy! Jacob Bean-Watson joins to find out, what happened to John Landon on that Planet of the Apes?? Check out Jacob's podcast The Movie Connection: https://open.spotify.com/show/1wDLnt4kCQKCEfqVQpjS1H Subscribe to our Patreon!: patreon.com/authorizedpod Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/authorizedpod Instagram: instagram.com/authorizedpod Next time on Authorized: John Cribbs...

We’re at the end of the original series Planet of the Apes novelizations, and it’s wild how good these were. John Cribbs of The Pink Smoke joins to discuss how the novelization of Battle is so, so much better than the film. But we’re not done with the Apes yet, as next week sees us jumping into the original series spinoff books. You’re not out of the Forbidden Zone yet, listener! Check out John’s...

We're covering a lot of new releases this week and their quality...differs! Ethan, Overbye and Hannah get to know the Child of Fire, and they get burned! Subscribe to our Patreon!: patreon.com/authorizedpod Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/authorizedpod Instagram: instagram.com/authorizedpod Next time on Authorized: Back to the Apes