ATARI BYTES

So. For the last episode in 2018,  I reviewed a video game-related movie (Megaforce). This year, I fully intended to do that again, but after playing the game "Revenge of the Beefsteak Tomatoes", I decided instead to go with one of its inspirations, the 1978 disaster parody "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes".  It's a...comedy?....about ordinary tomatoes that mutate and go aroud killing people. Also,...

Like the mud and slush stuck to the runners of Santa's sleigh, episode 204 glides onto your podcast rooftops. No game this week, but plenty of nog-worthy fun! Our short story is: TINY TIM'S ATARI DREAMS. Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Take a Chance", "Reformat", "Pinball Spring", Jingle Bells", "We Wish You a Merry Christmas", Dance of the Tuba Plu...

Episode 203 comes to you from a galaxy pretty not far away at all. In honor of the final installment of the most recent Star Wars trilogy coming out, we're playing STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI - DEATH STAR BATTLE, inspired by the final installment of the original film trilogy. Does this 1983 Parker Brothers offering feel the force or does it Jar Jar Binks all over the place? This week's short sto...

Do you have any idea how hard it is to put four pairs of tiny boxing gloves on a spider? We find out this week on episode 202 as we're playing the Activision 1982 title SPIDER FIGHTER. Was designer Larry Miller confessing a phobia with this one? His other titles "Snake Strangler", "Dental Damage", and "When You Have to Give a Speech, Blast Everyone Naked with Your Laser" would seem to suggest yes....

You might not know it from the recent self-destruction of Sears & Roebuck, but back in the day Sears was HIP, man. All the best stuff came from Sears. And then there's SLOTS, the Sears Tele-Games 1979 version of the Atari title SLOT MACHINE. Because there's nothing eight-year-olds like better than casino gambling. SLOTS is our focus this week in episode 201 and playing it gives you some insight th...

TWO HUNDRED EPISODES! Yep, two hundred weeks in a row (well, except for that one week I missed in 2017) this dumb show has been burrowing into your brain via your listening holes.  To celebrate, this week we're taking a break from writing stories and playing video games. Sort of. We're playing a BOARD game!  What?!?! I know! We're playing the 2018 IDW adaption of one of my favorite games: MISSILE...

"Blueprint" is a process developed in the 1800s to reproduce techical documents, turning them blue in the process. Coincidentally, the CBS Electronics game "Blueprint" also makes people blue. What about you? This week's short story: WITNESS TESTIMONY, THE PEOPLE vs. BARNABY BUILDER Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Take a Chance", "Reformat" and "Pinb...

Episode 198 is PELE'S SOCCER, Atari's tribute to one of the greatest athletes of all time: Brazilian soccer star PELE. That's right, this week's game about an amazing sports star is brought to you by one of the least sports-y people ever. Enjoy! This week's short story: LEAVE IT ALL ON THE FIELD Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Reformat", "Pinball Sp...

Remember how great Sears was? When I was a kid, Sears Roebuck was THE place to shop. And along with your Toughskins and washer/dryer sets, you could get Atari games cleverly renamed and packaged in boring, generic text labels so that...well, I don't know why exactly. BUT, thanks to this bit of video shell-gaming,  in episode 197 we get to revisit one of the "original nine" from 1977, COMBAT, only...

Episode 196 featuring the 1983 Fox Video Games offering REVENGE OF THE BEEFSTEAK TOMATOES is clearly an allegory for the plight of the American farmer in the 1980s international trade market. Also, tomatoes are trying to kill you, so maybe the message is: Kids, eat less fruit. This week's short story: TOMATO PUREE  Flat Earth Rocketman Measuring Curve of the Unite States A ROM Has Been Released of...

In episode 195, we're teeing up the golf ball that is the podcast to sink in a hole in one of your earholes. Or maybe both. But we don't want to overreach. That's right, we're playing MINIATURE GOLF, Atari's 1978 plaintive cry about being out of ideas already. "Weird. I thought they'd come up with more stuff. They had such potential," said the 1970s consumers. This week's short story: MINIATURE DE...

Don't stop believin'...it's episode 194 of ATARI BYTES! Drive one of your Cars to your game console and Wham your cartridge in. Don't get distracted by the Eagles above or Hall & Oats bringing you chicken nuggets and Oreo Speedwagons. We're playing JOURNEY ESCAPE, a 1982 game inspired by the artwork on Journey's album of the same name. Because apparently in 1982, Atari was doing lots of coke.* *Ki...

Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am. Cogito ergo playsumhuhhhh???? I think no one knows what this game is; does it exist? In episode 193, we're playing AUTO RACING, which despite hold it in my hand, seems to not exist if the Internet is to be believed. But I played it...I think I played it...does anyone else see the walls melting? This week's bad poetry corner: OTTO RACING Thanks to Kevin McL...

This week on the show, you have two jobs. You must hunt. You must score. That's because we're playing Atari's 1978 Concentration , Memory , Memory Match , A Game of Concentration ...fine, let's call it HUNT & SCORE. You might remember that as being part of the second wave of new titles from Atari. But hopefully that's not all you remember, because you'll need a steel-trap mind to line up these pai...

Episode 191 is right up your alley...if you're a cold-hearted criminal - possibly with an eye patch, but that may be optional - or a federal agent with a chronic inability to avoid the short straw for assignments. From 1982, we're playing Spectravision's GANGSTER ALLEY. Join me as we power through my personal game cartridge's attempts to sabotage the episode. Grrrrr, technology! *shakes fist at th...

In 1982, there was an epidemic of sides splitting at CBS Electronics due to all the laughing. What was so funny? The programmers were handed a new arcade game to adapt for the Atari. "Tell me again what it's called," one giggling programmer said, gasping for breath. "It's called GORF," the other shrieked, wiping mirthful tears from his eyes. This week's game in episode 190 is the space shooter wit...

Remember "Happy Days", the feel good 1970s show about a bunch of teens in 1950s Milwaukee? In the show, break-out popular hoodlum character Fonzie had cut ties with his old gang of trouble-makers "The Falcons".  DESERT FALCON, the 1987 Atari game that is the focus of episode 189 has absolutely nothing to do with that. But it's fun to remember such a good show isn't it? This week's short story is t...

We're not sure, but we're guessing that in 1978 at Atari HQ, game designer Warren Robinette won an office pool. The bet was who could come up with a game that matched it's title close enough that the boss would take it, but still had really nothing to do with it. SLOT RACERS, a game that has "cars" in it, but are not slot cars, nor are they racing, was the result.  In keeping with that spirit, thi...

You know, we here at ATARI BYTES are tired of hearing people whine about video games dumbing down generations and making kids illiterate. We happen to think there's lots of educational value to be had and these games are designed by sharp literate people with impeccable language and spelling skills. Just consider the game in episode 187: WIZARD OF WOR. Uh. Never mind.  But does the dubious spellin...

In episode 186, we're playing FLASH GORDON, the 1983 Twentieth Century Fox game inspired by the golden age comic book character. Flash Gordon is a blow-dried, blonde, muscular polo-playing-space-football-astronaut. Who says video games aren't relatable to our real lives? This week's short story is: WHY IS EVERYONE FLASHING GORDON? Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use...

In episode 185, imagine yourself on an early Sunday morning in a crowded, noisy breakfast joint. The scents of coffee and waffles waft through the air. Your arms are pleasingly sticky from syrup residue on the table. What are you doing to pass the time until your twelve egg omelette and bacon with a side of heart attack arrives? Playing HANGMAN on the placemat of course! And this week, we've got A...

In 1977, Atari said, "We need a small batch of games to show off this new video console we've got." Larry Kaplan heard this and was like, "Great! Here's like six of them. Car racing. Skiing. Airplanes. All sorts of stuff." "But, Larry," Atari said, "we've only got room in the catalog for one more." Larry grumbled a bit and instead of scrapping his six games, he stuffed them all into one cart, slap...

Episode 183 flutters in on cute-as-a-bug little wings with FIRE FLY, a 1983 offering from Mythicon. Is this game where you pilot a metallic humanoid insect in battle against other metallic humanoid insects in exchange for fabulous prizes mere myth? A flat-out con? The bee's knees? What's the buzz around the nectar-filled flowers on this one? Plant your stinger in this episode and find out for your...

It's episode 182, in which I lose my title belt and my podcast pants fall down so I'm left in my gaming skivvies. Aren't you glad this is an audio podcast? This week, we're playing TITLE MATCH PRO WRESTLING, a 1987 entry from Absolute Entertainment. Is it absolutely entertaining? Well, we'll pile drive this sucker to the mat and see if it airplane spins out some fun. Or something. This week's shor...

Everything old is new again...even in podcast land. In episode 181, we're going home to episode 8 with MS. PAC-MAN. Sort of... You see, this week we time travel to Atari's future with the 7800 port of this iconic 1984 title. Do we still like the game in new wintergreen - er, 7800 - flavor? Yes, yes we do. (spoiler) Are we any better at it on the new platform? Well... This week's short story is: TU...