ATARI BYTES

You're gliding along peacefully, when suddenly your periscope shoots upward. Through the murky depths you are shocked to see rocketing toward you... ATARI BYTES episode 281! Intellivision Month continues this week with Mattel's 1982 nautical adventure SUB HUNT. Is it a thrilling submarine simulator or a soul-crushingly boring, slow-paced game bogged down by an overly dense manual? Gee, I dunno......

INTELLIVISION MONTH 2021 has arrived in episode 280 of ATARI BYTES!  *Deafening cheers erupt* **Also an angry stampede out the door by some Atari purists** We kick things off with Mattel's 1981 title STAR STRIKE, which may or may not be inspired by Star Wars; which is true of much of life really. That's why I dress as an Ewok much of the time. Can anyone recommend a good conditioner? This week's s...

Doing something a little different this week in ATARI BYTES episode 279. Setting aside the games (Wait! Come back!) to share some thoughts I had while working a booth at a recent convention to promote the show and my books. In short, I noticed Atari did not have a huge presence, nor indeed did very much from before the 1980s. What gives? Could it be Atari is TOO OLD to be pop culture anymore?  Who...

Take a deep breath. Smell that? That's episode 278's equine-filled game. On this week's ATARI BYTES, we're playing the 1980 horse-racing game, STEEPLECHASE.  Jockey your way to this episode and mount your steed. This week's short story: STEEPLECAUGHT Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Take a Chance", "Reformat" and "Pinball Spring".  Thanks to Sean Cou...

What's that in your teeth? Why, it's another episode of ATARI BYTES! In episode 277, we take a huge, wet bite out of TOOTH PROTECTORS and let juices drip down our chin. This is the Johnson & Johnson (yes, the one-shot vaccine people) 1983 mail order, promo game. Instead of saving planets, shooting monsters or winning races, the goal is good oral hygiene. What kid doesn't love that?!?! This week's...

This planet sucks. Wait! Don't go! This isn't political or cultural commentary. THIS PLANET SUCKS, a self-published Greg Troutman title from 1997, is the name of this week's game on ATARI BYTES. So, absolutely NO sucking to be had in episode 276. Well, no more than usual...      Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Reformat", "Take a Chance" and "Pinball...

For those of you who lack the physicality to dance to the time warp, ATARI BYTES episode 275 has you covered. In the 1983 Coleco port of TIME PILOT, the time warp requires no dancing, just wave after wave of aerial dogfighting. Not even Tim Curry can help you. This week's short story: MARKING TIME Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Take a Chance", "Pin...

In ATARI BYTES episode 274, we're playing LASER GATES. Two guesses what this game is about. Wrong! It's monkeys and gonads, obviously. (You gotta listen to the show to understand that.) This week's Bad Poetry Corner: IF WARREN ZEVON'S A ROBOT Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incometech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Take a Chance", "Reformat", and "Pinball Spring".  Thanks to Sean Courtney fo...

One day in April 2021, ATARI BYTES drifted into Data Age's 1982 game BERMUDA TRIANGLE and was NEVER SEEN AGAIN. Episode 273 is the chronicle of that disappearance.  If you look up, you might see your host mooning you from the spaceship. This week's short story: BERMUDA SHORTED Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Take a Chance", "Reformat" and "Pinball S...

This week's ATARI BYTES episode, 272 for those scoring at home, is totally tubular (that's for you Gen Xers) Or is it? We're playing the unfinished 1984 effort TEMPEST, which tries to translate the 3D tubes the action plays out on on the arcade screen onto our home screens. Listen to find out if it works. We also talk about Shakespeare and say the word "panties". A lot.  This week's short story fr...

ATARI BYTES 271 revisits an old friend. A twitchy, large-nosed, profanity-obsessed friend who just won't just hold still for goodness sakes. We all have a friend like that. If you're not sure about that, it's probably you. It's Q*BERT'S QUBES, the 1983 follow-up to the adorable arcade-er (I'm trying to make that a word. Help me out. I'll be rich!). Is the game fun cubed, or just for squares, man?...

Guys, if life has taught us nothing else, we all should know by now that we must pick up our balls. This is especially true in Atari's 1983 let's-stick-it-to-em-and-see-how-mad-they-get, QUADRUN, our focus for ATARI BYTES episode 270. Tune in to find out just how frustrated this game makes me.  This week's short story: CAGE FREE Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incmpetech.com for creative commons use of...

In episode 269 of the ATARI BYTES podcast, we play SOLAR FOX, the 1983 CBS Electronics port of Bally/Midway's 1981 arcade game. Much like Icarus, we fly a wee bit too close to the sun, but do we get burned? Listen and find out! This week's short story: THE SOLAR FOXES REBOOT The ComicVine piece about the "Solar Fox" comic ad. Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of hi...

ATARI BYTES episode 268 is bubbling over with tasty goodness. We're playing PEPSI INVADERS, a 1983 cartridge created by Atari to cheer up sad Coca-Cola sales people sad about losing the "cola wars" to Pepsi. This episode is both sugar and caffeine free, so you'll just have to rely on my dulcet tones to keep you awake. Sorry.  This week's short story: THE COLA WARS BUBBLE OVER Thanks to Kevin McLeo...

In 1979, Twentieth Century Fox unleashed an iconic sci-fi movie called ALIEN. In 1982, Atari released the game version, in the maze style of iconic game Pac-Man. In 2021, the podcast ATARI BYTES did an episode about ALIEN, episode 267. It was...wait for it...iconic. THIS WEEK'S SHORT STORY: BAD POETRY CORNER - WHEN PERSEVERANCE RAN OUT Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons...

We're back to cram more square pod pegs into your round ear holes. It's another cubist's delight in 266 with RUBIK'S CUBE 3D. The three "D"s are "delightful", "delicious" and "de-wonderful", to borrow from an old song.  Or are they? Tune in this week to find out. With this 3D, there are no glasses required. Or pants.  Short Story: 3D-NYED Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative comm...

ATARI BYTES episode 265: Back in the 1970s, Hungarian inventor Erno Rubik, we assume, decided to see if he could drive people insane. He designed a cube consisting of a bunch of smaller cubes of many colors. He said, "Here, take this cube. Mess up the colors, then put them right again." Of course, he probably said it in Hungarian. But that makes it no less insidious. The Rubik's Cube was born. The...

On episode 264 of ATARI BYTES, we went back to the beginning; a bit of a palate cleanser after the disturbing "Porky's" last week. We take a look at PONG, the game that started it all. The original came out in 1972 with an Atari port in 1975. For my fifteen-year-old on the field report, it may as well have come out in the Pleistocene.  Kids, man. This week's short story: PING PRAWN Engadget.com "A...

In 1981, 20th Century Fox released a little family film called "Porky's" about a precocious lad named PeeWee with a knack for revenge against strip clubs and putting his privates where they probably shouldn't be. THEN, they made the obvious brilliant marketing move of turning that movie into an Atari game.  In episode 263, we play PORKY'S...because listener Patrick told us to. We're still a little...

In ATARI BYTES episode 262, we're playing the 1983 Tigervision port of Taito's 1980 arcade cabinet POLARIS. Defend your nuclear sub from withering attacks by destroyers, dive bombers and ever increasing frustration. Is the game a hit or miss - ile? Sorry. This week's short story: DOWNTIME Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Take a Chance", "Pinball Spri...

ATARI BYTES episode 261 is off the hook. Off the chain. Off the books. And occasionally off the rails. We're playing the 1989 Atari/Axlon title OFF THE WALL. The objective is to smash the brick wall to get to the dragon. Maybe they should have called it THROUGH THE WALL. But no one asked me. What other failings does the game suffer through lack of consultation with me? Listen to find out! This wee...

At some point, whatever governing body governs auto racing said, "What if we made up a racing sport where the drivers do everything we tell them not to do?" The initial idea - Murder Car - was scrapped. But the monster truck rally - complete with smashing cars, wheelies, jumping off ramps and wanton attacks on venerable Plymouth autos - was born. In episode 260,from 1990, we're playing the Atari t...

Don't worry about that penguin riding a sea otter reciting the works of Robert Frost (the penguin is doing the reciting. Not the otter. That would be stupid. Everyone knows otters are haiku creatures.) They're here to tell you that ATARI BYTES episode 259 has arrived. We're playing ACID DROP, produced by Salu Ltd. in 1992. This was the last commercially released 2600 game, which leaves us wonderin...

The skies over ATARI BYTES episode 258 glow bright orange with fire as fierce dragons sweep into view. We're playing the 1983 iMagic title DRAGON FIRE. Is the game more Puff than Smaug? Is the action hot or will we just get burned? This week's short story: DRAGON FIRED Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Take a Chance", "Pinball Spring" and "Reformat". ...

Man, I don't know if you've heard, but 2020 has been quite a year. I think we could use a break. So, in episode 257, we're setting aside the games and stories and we're just gonna kick back with a beverage to watch a movie. And what a movie it is! THE EARTH DIES SCREAMING is a 1964 black & white, sci-fi film. The aliens are invading via gas attack! (Insert joke here.) This 62 minute film has it al...