At Peace Parents Podcast

In this episode I talk through some of the most common places that the parents, therapists and teachers I've worked with get stuck. If you're stuck in one of these spots don't feel bad. This is hard stuff we're all doing. And I hope this episode can help.

In this episode I share some stories that show that the accommodating we do for our PDA children and teens isn't all that crazy. In fact, you could make a reasonable argument that many of the most successful people working in retail are constantly using their ability to coregulate their customers' nervous systems. I share these stories with two hopes - that they help you feel less crazy, and more...

In this episode I answer your questions with Dr. Alex Klein, clinical psychologist. We covered a few diagnoses - DMDD, IED and ODD - that children often receive before their parents figure out they are PDA. And then we also discussed the grieving process that many parents go through after learning their child has a disability, and how that can be different from ableism, which parents often feel gu...

The holidays can be excruciating for us parents of PDA children and teens. So in this episode I share five tips to help you and your family get through them (with as much joy as possible). I hope they are helpful. Also, this episode includes a story about my PDA son not being able to sleep on Christmas Eve several years ago. After I recorded this I then re-read a blog post I'd written shortly afte...

Advocating with the school of your PDA child or teen can feel like slamming your head against a wall. But you keep trying because you think that if you just explain how PDA works clearly enough the school will start accommodating appropriately. At least that's what I thought. And I was wrong. But it took me more than a year and multiple lawyers to get to the place where I pulled my child from our...

I love it when alumni of our Paradigm Shift Program™ send me updates. It's just so wonderful to hear about the work that parents do and the slow but tremendous progress they make. In this episode I decided to invite on one of the moms who sent me such an update about a year after she finished the program. We talk about how she ultimately fared with the questions she was grappling with during the p...

 I conceptualize PDA as a nervous system disability because it can impair access to basic survival needs - such as eating, sleeping, toileting, movement, and safety. It's terrifying for parents when this happens, and in this episode I discuss why it does. This understanding helps many parents support their children, who can then regain access to those needs over time. Are you ready to start worki...

Lowering demands is how many parents start accommodating their PDA child or teen, and it's also where many get stuck. In this episode I talk through the mindset work that parents can do to get unstuck and be more successful with lowering demands. I also explain why lowering demands is a necessary but not sufficient accommodation for our PDA children and teens. Are you ready to start working to dee...

Does you child or teen often try to control you, criticize you and/or destroy your things or things around the house. This is very common among PDA children and teens, because they are equalizing. Equalizing is a nervous system response - out of their control - in PDA children and teens whereby they try to regain sense of nervous system safety due to a perceived loss of autonomy and equality. In t...

Este episodio está en español. This episode is in Spanish. En este episodio hablo con Juliana Carrillo sobre PDA - la Evitación de Demanda Extrema - y como entender la discapacidad del sistema nervioso en niños y jovenes. Juliana es una psicologa y "coach" con At Peace Parents. Puedes leer más de ella y sus servicios aquí: https://www.atpeaceparents.com/Juliana-asesoria-personalizada Are you ready...

It's very common for two parents to be on different pages or trajectories with PDA understanding and acceptance. Sometimes this is because one parent wants more "evidence" that PDA exists at all, which can be very difficult given that academia has not yet caught up to our lived realities. In this episode I provide a possible way forward - building your own evidence! I hope it's helpful. Are you re...

In this episode I share the techniques for using declarative language that I've seen are most effective for parents of PDA children and teens. And I snuck in a suggestion on how to get your PDAer's teacher to use declarative language, too ;) Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of...

There are tons of misconceptions about if and how we set boundaries with our PDA children and teens (spoiler - we do!), and in this episode I talk through the most common of them. I also explain the process I use - cost-benefit decision making within constraints - to help parents decide when they should set boundaries and how to do so with eyes wide open to the activation this will cause their PDA...

Hi everyone - in this episode I share some of the many messy, awkward and (in retrospect at least) kinda funny situations I found myself in during the many months I was in the process of changing my parenting approach to better support my PDA son. I share these as a reminder that this can be (almost always is) a chaotic transition, and that's ok. You're learning and implementing a new parenting pa...

ABA is helpful for some PDA children and their families. For other PDA children it doesn't help or can make things worse. With this in mind, I'd love to live in a world where ABA and additional options were available - and covered by insurance - to support PDA children and teens. In today's episode I provide more information about ABA and the how parents of PDA children can better understand the r...

In this episode I share my experiences with the Safe and Sound Protocol, and also provide guidance on how parents can think about trying therapies with their PDA child or teen. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparent...

This is a question I get frequently, and there's a lot of nuance that goes into answering it. I hope this is helpful to you! Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and...

In this episode I explain the logic that underpins all my teaching, and why traditional behavioral parenting approaches - which are great for many children - don't work for PDA children and teens because of the way their brains and nervous systems work. Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the ne...

Like many parents, I spent years looking for a magic solution that would fix or circumvent my son's PDA. And then I came to accept that this is a disability he has. Only then was I able to make the decisions to truly support him and our family. In this episode I share the tool I teach in the Paradigm Shift Program™ to help parents accept the limitations they face and make decisions to move forward...

In this episode I explain why it makes total sense that we have PDA children and teens before academia has proven the existence of PDA, because research follows real life. (And while I love research, it is often slow and expensive.) But that doesn't mean we can't move forward and experiment with approaches that support our children. That's what parents have always done, and then studies come after...

One of our goals in accommodating the nervous systems of our PDA children and teens is to make them feel safe. And in this video I walk through nine ways we can signal safety (many of which aren't verbal) to help them feel safe, and safe in their connection with us. This podcast is the audio recording of a video I made, and you can hear me talk about some of the visuals I shared, which you don't r...

I don't plan a single weekend - nor really any other free time with my PDA son - without thinking about the 4 S's. Just keeping them in mind buoys my confidence that I know how to prevent or interrupt my son's dysregulation. This podcast is the audio of a video I made explaining the 4S's in detail. I talk a bit about the graphics I drew for the video, which you don't really need to see, but can fi...

Are you thinking about taking your PDA child or teen out of formal school for homeschooling? Or perhaps you've already done so and are finding what you've gotten into to be pure chaos? This episode is for you! Kelly Edwards is the mother of a PDA child and founder of 90-Minute School Day ( https://90minuteschoolday.com/ ), an organization that helps parents homeschool and unschool their neurodiver...

Raising a PDA child or teen is extremely challenging. Trying to be perfect in your implementation of accommodations makes it impossible and unsustainable. But here's the good news - you don't have to be perfect! Not when your child is in burnout, and certainly not when they're in equilibrium and you need to bring some nuance to your caregiving. I explain these distinctions in this episode, which I...

Are you ready to start working to deeply understand and support your PDA child or teen and lead your family to peace? Join the waitlist for the next cohort of my signature Paradigm Shift Program at https://www.atpeaceparents.com/paradigm-shift-program To learn more about and figure out if your child or teen is PDA, you can take my FREE Clarity Masterclass at www.atpeaceparents.com. You can also co...