Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

If you feel like you're doing too much for your kids — and it’s time for them to do more for themselves — this episode is your roadmap out. Dr. Lisa Damour makes the case for using summer to foster independence in our kids. The summer months provide the perfect window to hand off real responsibilities to your tween or teen in a way that actually sticks. From laundry to cooking dinner to managing t...

 Does your teen seem more attached to their friends and their phone than to you? That's not just a feeling, and it's not a phase you have to wait out. Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with two of the world's leading experts on child development, globally renowned physician and author Dr. Gabor Maté, and developmental psychologist and author Dr. Gordon Neufeld, to address...

If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD (or you suspect they might have it) this episode will change the way you see them. Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their candid, funny, and genuinely moving conversation with Penn and Kim Holderness — viral content creators, bestselling authors, podcasters, and authors of “ADHD is Awesome: A Guide to (Mostly) Thriving With ADHD.” Together, they st...

If watching "Adolescence" on Netflix left you feeling worried about your son, this episode will help you turn your concerns into action. Dr. Lisa Damour breaks down what the show gets exactly right about adolescent boys: why they're emotionally constrained by culture, how that vulnerability gets exploited by toxic online figures like Andrew Tate, and what parents can do right now to connect with t...

If your child has just come out to you — or you sense they might be questioning their gender identity — you may be wondering what to say, what to do, and how to get this right. This episode is here to help. Dr. Lisa Damour walks parents through one of the most important conversations of adolescence: how to respond when your tween or teen comes out as gay, lesbian, or bi, or expresses a non-traditi...

Does your family hit September feeling more exhausted than when summer started? You're not alone — and it doesn't have to be that way. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour shares her research-backed S.U.N. framework — Sleep, Unplug, and Nature — a simple, three-part plan for making summer genuinely restorative for your tween or teen (and for you). Whether your family is drowning in screens, running on...

Does your tween or teen struggle with low confidence and self-esteem? Do you want to cultivate healthy self-compassion and self-worth in them — and in yourself? In this special "Best of Ask Lisa" compilation, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and co-host Reena Ninan pull together some of their most powerful conversations on self-esteem, confidence, and self-compassion, covering the full arc of...

Your teen does everything right. Homework done. Pays attention. Stays organized. Has study skills. And still struggles with tests. ​​Sound familiar? You're not alone, and this is not your kid's fault. In this episode of “Ask Lisa,” clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan dig into one of the most frustrating and confusing problems parents face: the capable, motivated teen who just can...

It's prom season, and one mom is facing a tough call: her son wants to go to an unsupervised after-party two hours away. Other parents are saying yes. Her gut is saying no. And her son is saying he'll skip prom entirely if she doesn't let him go. Whether it's prom, spring break, or any other "big night" moment, dilemmas like this one can keep parents up at night. Should you trust your kid, or shou...

Loot boxes, in-app purchases, Robux, skins — and a kid who won't stop asking for them. If you're a parent of a tween or teen gamer, you already know this pressure. But are these purchases actually harmful, or are you just out of touch with how gaming works today? In-app purchases are one of the most confusing pressure points for parents of tweens and teens right now. The games are "free to downloa...

In recognition of National Fentanyl Awareness Day, we're bringing back one of our most critical episodes — because every family needs this information. Illicit fentanyl has contaminated the drug landscape and is causing record deaths among young people. How should parents talk with their teens about this fast-moving crisis? What can we say to help keep our kids safe? Dr. Lisa Damour, who serves on...

Your tween won't shower, won't change their clothes, or lies about having brushed their teeth or washed their face...Sound familiar? If you're in the middle of a hygiene battle with your tween or young teen, you're not alone, and you're not failing as a parent. This is one of the most common (and confusing) challenges of early adolescence, especially when basic resistance starts to take the form o...

Creatine for teens, supplements for teen athletes, and navigating gym culture pressure on social media… Dr. Lisa Damour answers the question parents of teen athletes are searching for. Your teen's teammate is taking creatine. Now your kid wants it too. Maybe they're a serious athlete with real goals. Maybe you even take supplements yourself. But something still feels… off. This is genuinely a hard...

Your teen got into college. Now comes the harder question: are they actually ready to go? If you're wondering whether they have what it takes to handle a difficult roommate, navigate the college party scene, or make real friends on their own, you're not alone. This is one of the most common, and least talked about, worries parents carry into the summer before college drop-off. In this episode, cli...

Wondering how to talk to your teen about relationships and intimacy? Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour has the research-backed answers. Your teenager is in a relationship, and now you're asking yourself a question you never thought you'd have to answer: Do I allow this in my home? This is a tough topic to face, but avoiding it doesn't protect our kids. Honest, values-based conversation does. D...

If you're raising a tween or teen in a world of social media, smartphones, and AI, this conversation is for you. How do you protect your kid from the psychological harms of today's digital world (disturbing content, social media, and AI) without pushing them away or damaging the relationship you've worked so hard to build with them? That's the question at the heart of this special episode of Ask L...

Your kid just got dropped by their friend group, or they're being left out, iced out, or caught in the middle of middle school friendship drama… and you have no idea what to say. In this “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation, we’ve curated wisdom from clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour on friendship conflict to help parents understand exactly what's happening beneath the surface of tween and teen frie...

Is your teen obsessed with their appearance? Spending hours in front of the mirror, constantly taking selfies, and seeking validation for their looks? In a world where social media turns appearance into currency, building your teen's self-esteem on a stronger foundation has never been more important. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan dig into a letter from a parent whose 14-year-old...

You check your phone and your teen's location is off again. Are they okay? Are they hiding something? …And should you even be tracking them in the first place? In this week's episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena dig into one of the most common standoffs happening in homes with teenagers right now: location sharing. A dad writes in about his 16-year-old son, who has started turning off his location. The kid...

If your teen texts "I want to unalive myself" or "kms," should you be worried? The frightening topic of teen suicide is made worse by confusing headlines, evolving slang, and the fear of saying the wrong thing. But here's what you need to know: the research is cautiously hopeful, you have more power than you think, and asking direct questions saves lives. In this essential episode, Dr. Lisa Damour...

Is your teen too obsessed with their girlfriend or boyfriend? Constant texting, ditching friends, and living on their phone. Perhaps you're watching them disappear into this relationship and you don't know what to do. If you're worried your teen's relationship is too intense and wondering how to talk to them about healthy balance without pushing them away, this episode is for you. Dr. Lisa Damour...

Is your teen’s snark just “normal attitude”… or could it be something more serious? If you’re walking on eggshells around a constantly irritable, sarcastic teenager and wondering whether this is just adolescence or a red flag not to ignore, you’re not alone. In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, Dr. Lisa Damour helps parents make sense of the exhausting, confusing...

What would YOU do if you discovered your tween or teen was reading explicit fan fiction online? Today’s kids are often learning about sexuality through the internet, often long before parents realize it. How you respond can either shut down communication or open the door to thoughtful, values-based conversations that actually stick. In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & T...

What do you do when your tween or teen is convinced school doesn’t matter because they’re definitely going to be an influencer? If your child talks more about TikTok fame than homework, dismisses “real jobs,” or seems completely disengaged from school and real-world relationships, this episode is for you. Parents today are navigating brand-new territory, and it can feel scary, frustrating, and iso...

Is your teen pushing for another piercing? Are you feeling torn between setting limits and respecting their self-expression? In this episode of “Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens,” Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan take on a question sent directly from a 16-year-old listener: How many piercings should a teen be allowed to have?  What starts as a question about jewelry opens up a muc...