Ascension To Ten

We’re back!!! No amount of technical difficulties could stand in our way this time.   Spenny had some assembly required and stranded himself, JAD tells not one, but two magnet stories as part of a larger story about seaming, and the Cold Case segment returns. The bois discuss the movie Mayflower II, a story about getting lost in space.  Don’t watch it. Want to share a Typical Day story with us?  W...

Remember when we said we were back in a rhythm and on a strict recording and publishing schedule?  Me neither!! Spenny kicked things off this episode by trying his best to get the show canceled, the bois talk about garage doors, and JAD makes fun of his wife.  We also talk about The Fifth Wave, which is a very bad movie. Sorry this took so long to get out.  Thanks for sticking with us! Want to sha...

Episode 54: I’m gonna kill these birds, right? || Birdemic: Shock and Terror Movie Review Let’s do this! Birdemic is in the building, ladies and gentlemen! This has been long awaited, and we had to roll without Bryan to get it done. Wowwie! This movie takes things to a new level. It starts off with lots of time watching a guy drive a rental Mustang and everyone achieving their career goals. A clea...

We’re in Season 2 at last!  That’s right, whatever conditions were previously set for Season 2 to start, uhhh, we met those.  Sure. Anyways, we’re back after yet another long hiatus.  If you’ve stuck around, thank you for your patience!  We really appreciate your time.  On this episode, Spenny gets philosophical right away, leading the bois down a path discussing corn (maize if you will), palaces,...

It’s a trio!  That’s right the whole crew is back and ready to talk about the movie 65, a movie about aliens fighting dinosaurs or something.  JAD talks about softball, gold scooters, staying visible at night, and he even gives an update to a fan favorite segment: magnet stories!  In addition, JAD prepared a new segment for the bois in which they discuss how close Artificial Intelligence is to tak...

Episode 51: Accidental Double Feature || Evil Dead & Army of Darkness Movie Reviews Well, we finally did. We didn’t watch the same movie, and you’ll see JAD and Spenny scramble to put together a double movie review without the other ever seeing the movie the other watched. JAd watched Evil Dead, and Spenny watched Army of Darkness. Based on the movie's description, Spenny got the better e...

The bois jumped through a time vortex and are back to do a bit of podcasting.   Highlander was on deck this week, but we’ve been gone so long, we forgot how to review it.   That actually has more to do with all the stories we told.  Spenny went on a vacation that was fine, JAD solved his transportation problems, and the two remember an epic SPAM from 2002.   Want to share a Typical Day story with...

Episode 48: LoTR Poor Man Rewrite || In The Name of The King Movie Review The bois have been sitting on this one for a while. Both pre and post production. Its finally time to unveil the most ridiculous movies we’ve watch in a while and that includes velocipastor. This week we review In The Name of the King Movie. They literally had to rewrite 70% of this movie because the story was so close to th...

The bois did something new this week by reviewing a good movie.  Velocipastor might not have anything to do with velociraptors or pastors, but it does contain everything a movie needs in a convenient runtime.  The movie is basically animorphs, but we never mentioned that because I just thought of it.  Also, I did my best to make the show art for this episode reflect the production value of the mov...

Episode 46: Thumb War Jox A movie about huge robots with a boring plot? Sounds like a good recipe for the Ascension To Ten podcast. The bois review Robot Jox from 1989. It was a lame version of Pacific Rim. Spenny talks about karaoke and the bois reminisce about funny stories of t-shirts. Want to share a Typical Day story with us?  Want to recommend a movie?  Want to add to a previous review?    P...

Another week, another setup change.  This is the first episode the bois finally implement the technology JAD has wanted this entire time: green screen editing.  The bois are the only thing holding themselves back at this point.  This week we briefly talk about the movie Jupiter Ascending after discussions involving selling things on Facebook marketplace, camping, gas cans, and windows. Want to sha...

So we did another low-budget Steven Seagal movie (“Code of Honor” if it even matters).  This one is so bad that Spenny had to put JAD in a timeout and restricted his movie selections moving forward.  It’s a real stinker.  Hopefully this episode is better than the movie itself, or we may lose what audience we have.   Anyways, JAD shows up in costume, Spenny got a headstone,, and the bois discuss a...

Episode 43: The Clown Quest Well, well, well, another Van Damme film, this time The Quest. Frankly, we don’t really know what the real plot line was, but it's obvious Van Damme didn’t either, as this was his first film as director. Its something about being a clown on stilts but ending up in this epic fight tournament that reminds you of cheap mortal combat.  The Bois also discuss funny stori...

Hello? Is anyone there? We’re back! After a three month break, the bois get back in the studio to do very  important things, such as talk about clothes, hair, running indoor marathons, a critical lack of magnets, paying to park, drinking, and its consequences. We also discuss the movie Street Fighter, which is obviously based on Street Fighter 2.  Want to share a Typical Day story with us?  Want t...

Episode 41: Phantom Summer to Forget With JAD out of pocket for a minute to enjoy little baby Sloane. He leaves the fate of the show to Spenny. In Turn, Spenny calls in a familiar face to help, and Bry answers the call! This week we are reviewing The Phantom (1996). It is a great movie to review and talk about all the craziness of this film.  Billy Zane got his chance to be a leading man in an act...

Spenny and JAD sit down for a special episode announcing JAD's first child, Sloane.  No movie or clowning this week, just happy words on becoming a dad; although Spenny does manage to sneak in a TD.  While A2TEN isn't going anywhere, the next couple episodes may be a bit different with JAD taking some time off.  Spenny will carry the show forward though so no worries.  As always, thank y...

Episode 40: Black Adam Bad? This was another listener's recommendation to do Black Adam. Thank you, Zach and Derek. It was surprisingly a really enjoyable film. JAD and Spenny didn’t have much to say about it other than they enjoyed the movie and the visuals. The bois poked fun at a few concepts, like a nanobot girl making tornadoes and the atom smasher being a total throwaway character. Howe...

Episode 39: BatBoi vs. IcedMan This movie is another fan recommendation from our listener, Doug. We are reviewing Batman and Robin. Man, this is a sequel to Batman forever, but they lost Val Kilmer to The Saint, so they got a TV actor named George Clooney to play Batman. It was his first leading role. Unfortunately, it didn't translate to success. Batman almost met his match this time! He wil...

Episode 38: Winning by Tying We had an incredible fan recommendation from a show friend, Taylor. Cosmoball (2020). It is a Russian Sci-fi film. The premise is around this game called Cosmo Ball, which is soccer meets Tron. It took the bois by surprise. It is a visually strong film, and the dubbed English and subtitles were another level of entertainment added to this film. The dub only matched the...

Episode 37: Ascensions are Easy Spenny picked the movie this week; Earth Girls Are Easy (1989). It stars Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carry, and Damon Wayans. It is over the top Sci-fi musical comedy. It has weird furry aliens that somehow can shave off colored fur and look like completely normal humans. The bois try to get through this without too much of an issue. Unfortunately, there was an...

Episode 36: Miami Vice on Ice COLD ZONE! the bois are reviewing the film, Cold Zone. It’s a made-for-TV movie from Canada. A Miami family who vacations to Alaska each week comes up when the world’s largest ice hurricane hits and it follows the ice apocalypse! Their son, Jordan is SOO bummed about not being in Cabo. Spenny did some work travel and the bois go from stuffing envelopes to talking abou...

The bois wanted to do a year in review, but this came out after 2022 ended and three months before the one year anniversary, so we are doing a YTD for the show.  We discuss Avater 2 in extra dimensions, a movie about Bigfoot or something, and then spend most of the time ranking all of our Ascension ratings to date and also all the episode thumbnails.  This is a great episode to watch on our YouTub...

Seagal is in the house this week, and he could not care less. The film is Born to Raise Hell, 2010. This film proves that Seagal only cared about karate chopping his way through bad guys. This is one of over 185 movies he’s done. Who keeps letting him make these? Spenny points out that he sounds like a whispering Donald Trump. This may have taken the cake for the absolute worst movie we’ve watched...

JAD’s fond childhood memory of Mission to Mars is torn to shreds this week.  I guess movies that seem cool as a 12 year old don’t always hold up 22 years later, especially when the movie actually just sucks. The bois were sick this week, so please excuse our lack of energy.  JAD talks about a previous illness, Spenny reads off his resume, and the two comment on the hostile takeover by artificial i...

Episode 32: Uncrustable HeMans  "I HAVE THE POWER," says HeMan only once in this week's film, The Masters of the Universe. It features Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, and Courtney Cox. Gwildor invents a cosmic key but has no idea how it works, Skeletor is constantly looking for someone to love him, and HeMan is the 4th most important character in his film. The bois enjoy dunking and...