Art That Overcomes

"How do you work through confusion to find direction and clarity after leaving an abusive relationship with a narcissist? That’s a good question, right? It’s hard to know which way is up when you’re in survival mode, and then even as things start to calm down in life, we can get so stuck in indecisiveness that we’re not really moving forward. We’re living an 'ok' life…but are we growi...

These days, we’re all photographers, aren’t we? Armed with a smartphone, tablet, or basic little digital camera, we all have the ability to take some pretty awesome photos. Heck, even back when I had a flip phone, I found myself using the camera feature a lot. And even before that, disposable cameras were so easy to come by, I always had one on hand, to capture both the beautiful and silly moments...

Sometimes we come to a place in life where we realize that certain people or situations are not fulfilling us the way they used to. And sometimes, those people or situations are not only failing to give us what we need, but they are also draining and depleting us. Our energy is low, and we don’t have the time, space, or resources to fill ourselves back up as long as we stay in the same place.  I’v...

Who gets to decide who you are?  The natural answer might be, “Me, of course!”. But in reality, we often let others decide and define who we are. Our family members, spouses, teachers, friends, coworkers, employers, and especially…the abusive and narcissistic people in our lives.  Sometimes we get in the habit of trusting others’ definitions of our identities more than our own. And sometimes this...

Feelings of self-doubt and lack of confidence are so common for Overcomers of narcissistic abuse to experience. The narcissist made it their job to instill this self-doubt in us, so that we would always follow their lead and look to them for guidance and answers. They trained us to question our own thoughts and opinions, which kept us trapped under their control.  So, understandably, we come out o...

What does it mean to have strength? Of course, one definition of “strong” refers to physical strength - “having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks”, or “exerting great force.”  People also use the term “inner strength” when referencing an individual’s ability to overcome hardship and have resilience. Corresponding definitions for this type of “strong” could...

On last week’s episode, we started exploring the concept of trust. I talked about how this is a very difficult exploration, and that’s why we’ve eased into it.  For those who have been in any kind of abusive relationship, trust has been broken. Trust has been severed. It has been torn up into tiny pieces and stomped on, burned, or buried. We have possibly trusted others too readily in the past, an...

Today, we are talking about TRUST. I believe that cultivating a sense of trust in ourselves, our Creator or higher power, and in others is a key part of getting us unstuck. Similar to last week’s mantra (I am safe and I am protected), this week’s mantra has two parts: I trust the process, and I trust my Creator’s voice within me.  To view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly e...

The concept of “safety” is complex and multifaceted.  Once you’ve experienced trauma, your brain and body can stay hypervigilant and on guard, continually telling you the story that you are not safe.  Your brain wants you to stay alert and aware of the potential for future danger. This is your brain’s way of  trying  to keep you safe.  But, what happens when we stay in this mode, day after day, ye...

In the introduction to the second session of my coaching program, The Redefined Process, I say: “In order to allow for change to enter our lives, I believe we need to create some emotional and mental space. Just as a room in our house can become cluttered with junk, our brains get cluttered too. We need to clear that stuff out! Consistently! We need to consciously create the mental and emotional s...

After surviving narcissistic abuse, we tend to think we’re aware of our feelings, and that we’ve learned to express those feelings in a way that helps us.  However, reality can be quite the opposite. Sometimes we use our thinking brain to rationalize our way out of feeling, and often we haven’t even stopped to truly experience our emotions. They get shoved to the side, and we continually tell our...

Are you being too hard on yourself? Are you beating yourself up over things that are in the past, or that weren’t even yours to take responsibility for in the first place? After surviving narcissistic abuse, it can be difficult to focus on the positive. We can’t quite envision a better future. Or, we’re not willing to do the work to set those goals.  Our brains like patterns, and it’s easier to le...

I often share that the number one key to healing from narcissistic abuse is to stop reading about narcissism. While it’s crucial in the beginning of our recovery to learn all the things we can about the trauma we’ve been through… to piece together what the heck just happened to us?... If we keep up with this constant information gathering long term, it only keeps us stuck. True growth and healing...

Here’s a quote from my new book: “The thing that felt risky. The thing that felt scary. The decision that some friends would have cautioned me not to make. That choice was a crucial turning point for the better. It wasn’t selfish or foolish. It was necessary.” You can do hard things, Overcomer. Today we are talking about why you *need* to do hard things, and how to get started.  And I’ll give you...

Today I’m answering a question from a member of my free Facebook group, Women Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.  The question is: How do you overcome the insecurities they leave you with? I know loving yourself is key, but will I ever have that confidence again? I thought this was a great question because this feeling of insecurity and lack of confidence is so common to us as Survivors or Overcomers...

Do you have trouble envisioning goals for your life? Or trouble believing that you can actually reach the goals you’ve set? Or, did you think you had gotten it down, only to find that you’re now at a standstill, not really taking purposeful action toward where you want to go? No matter where you might fall on this spectrum, I want to tell you that it makes sense. Lots of humans struggle with this,...

Who gets to decide what real art is…and who the real artists are? And if a piece of artwork is good or not?  Do you have to exhibit artwork for others to see? Do you have to perform on a stage or on video? Today I’m sharing my two cents on this topic. Here's the link to all the things! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Go here to view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page...

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. I find that this concept encourages us to set huge unrealistic goals that we pretty quickly fail to take action on.  It encourages an all or nothing mentality. We try to tackle the big goal, don’t reach it quickly, and then stop trying… and then feel guilty or disappointed in ourselves.  Listen, I think it’s great to set goals. But when we’re talking ab...

Anger. This is stereotypically a difficult emotion for women to allow themselves to feel and to express. We are taught that it’s acceptable for us to be sad, nervous, anxious, scared, disappointed, depressed…. Any of the “negative” emotions that make us small and shrink back, needy of others to comfort or save us. But anger is an emotion that’s usually expressed more outwardly, in a way that comma...

Are you able to be yourself, Overcomer? Do you truly feel like you can let loose and be YOU, even if just for a little while, or in certain environments, or around certain people? One of my biggest goals in life is to become more and more comfortable being ME in all places, spaces, and relationships. I find that some of this increased comfortability with being Me comes naturally with age, but it a...

I often talk about the concept of “anniversary reactions” with my clients. This term refers to the yearly anniversary of a traumatic event or loss of some kind, and with it, the return of symptoms of grief.  A quick Google search told me that according to psychological literature, an “anniversary reaction” is defined as an individual’s response to unresolved grief resulting from significant losses...

TODAY IS THE DAY! Now is the time to order your copy of The Uncommon Guide to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity! Are you a woman who has survived narcissistic abuse, gone to therapy, attended support groups, tried countless healing modalities — yet you still feel stuck in life? The Uncommon Guide to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: How I...

I am so excited to announce that the Kindle E-book version of ‘The Uncommon Guide to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity’, is now live on Amazon! That means if you pre-ordered the Kindle E-book it should have been magically delivered to your device a few days ago, by the power of technology.  AND, I’m even more excited that TOMORROW, FRIDAY...

I am so excited to announce that the Kindle E-book version of The Uncommon Guide to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity, is now live on Amazon! That means if you pre-ordered the Kindle E-book it should have been magically delivered to your device today, by the power of technology. I can’t wait for you to start reading it, completing the art...

I love the idea of creating a vision board to help envision our goals for the future, but as I shared back in episode 63, I also have some mixed feelings about vision boards.  In that episode, I declared that I was going to make a more gritty type of vision board to accompany the one I had created sometime last year. And, I did just that. Today I’m here to report how that went. It wasn’t what I ex...