Another World is Probable

I feel incredibly off. In large part, it’s because I’ve been sick with a cold for the last nine days. Add in lack of sleep due to said cold, disruption at my apartment because of construction, Trump returning to the White House, the collective heartbreak around the LA wildfires, continued destruction of Gaza, and all the other tragedies in the world, and I want to pull a Rip Van Winkle. If I could...

Over and over again life surprised me with curveballs both good and bad. So instead of making lists of what I want to accomplish, I’m embracing something poet Mary Oliver said: “Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.” More in this week's post.

As I thought about how to close this year (last post of 2024!), the blog that kept coming to mind is one I wrote almost exactly eight years ago. So no, I’m not in Malibu, nor have I flown home from a retreat just yet – that happens on Wednesday – but the message is still relevant. Enjoy.

The past few weeks I’ve toggled between wanting to do things my way and wanting to do things other people’s way, with my inherent goodness at stake. My therapist encouraged me to change my definition of good to encompass living in harmony with nature and all created beings. She specifically told me to look up “walking the beauty way path,” a Navajo/Diné concept. More in this week's post.

I have a confession: I make mistakes. I know, that doesn’t seem like much of a confession because everybody makes mistakes, but with the amount of shame and fear that comes up from admitting it, you’d think I stole money from little old ladies and kicked their dogs. More in this week's post.

On the heels of my post from last week about making new milestones, the phrase that keeps coming to me is, “Let go of the way you think things are supposed to be and embrace what is.” That’s a big one for me because I have a lot of “supposed tos.” More in this week's post.

If you’re listening to this on December 1, today is my 40th birthday. I’ve had numerous feelings about this birthday. I’ve cried many tears about it because I’m not at all where I thought I’d be at this age. I don’t have anything society told me I “should” have at 40 as a cis-het woman: I’m single, childless, and don’t own a home. More in this week's post.

A friend sent me a podcast he created solely using AI and it freaked me out. By feeding a discourse into a language learning model, it spit out a realistic conversation between two “people.” From there I spiraled into “AI will replace me” territory because I’m not a plumber – I’m a writer . And then my higher power wrote me a letter. More in this week's post.

This has never happened to me before but last week a chestnut-backed chickadee pair flew to my living room window. One of them chirped at the sill as if it was talking to me directly. I exclaimed in delight at this tiny bird watching me as I watched it. The encounter reminded me of the power of joy.

There seem to be endless ways that people are cruel to one another and I know many people are worried that the recent U.S. elections will embolden more of that kind of behavior. But people aren’t only cruel, they’re also kind. More in this week's post.

I had an interesting experience on Friday. I walked by the yoga studio where I used to host a weekly group meditation before the pandemic. I discovered the building is no longer safe to enter and has been stripped to its studs! I don’t know if they’re renovating the building or tearing it down, but regardless, I likely won’t be in that yoga studio again. More in this week's post.

All week I’ve been thinking about how people are complicated and contradictory. A person can be a mass murderer and an excellent dog parent. A man can beat his wife and act meek at work. A woman can preach love and kindness and be sharp and cutting with her inner circle. Instead of trying to puzzle out which side is the “real them,” my perspective is it’s all them . More in this week's post.

I watched a reality TV show where every single contestant wanted to boot off one guy. He was inept, mooched off other people, annoyed everyone, and was consistently in the bottom two. I kept waiting for him to be eliminated but he wasn’t. That guy won the whole competition. It felt like such a fluke and reminded me of two sports stories. More in this week's post.

As I’ve continued to process the devastation in North Carolina from the hurricane, what occurred to me is love is here, too. It’s the people who are helpers, but it’s more than that. Love is all around, holding us in good times and bad. It reminds me of an experience I had in 2017. More in this week's post.

It’s been heartbreaking for me to witness the news coming out of western North Carolina. I spent ages 6 to 12 just outside of Marshall and as an adult, many of my friends moved to the area and I’ve visited them. The whole thing is tragic and I’ve cried many tears about it. All of that is true. But what’s also true is that quote from Fred Rogers. More in this week's post. And you can donate to www....

Related to my post from last week about accepting the mystery is a Sanskrit word: liilá. What we don’t understand, what we can’t explain, is called liilá but the more literal translation is divine play or sport. My spiritual teacher says, “The numerous ways in which the divine game of [Cosmic Consciousness] is being played is simply beyond human imagination.” More in this week's post.

I want to know everything and if I could know it in advance, that would be great. As a journalist, this trait serves me – it drives me to keep asking questions and to understand whatever I’m writing about. In life though, well, I’m sure you can guess how this plays out, especially when life is doing its thing, i.e., being unpredictable and mysterious. More in this week's post.

When I take a zoomed-out perspective on my life since the start of the year, I notice numerous endings that led to beginnings that led to endings. There has been so much upheaval in practically every area of my life – health, finances, relationships, and where I live. It reminds me of a story from Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ Women Who Run With the Wolves . More in this week's post. And here&#3...

Lately, I keep thinking about how I give my power away. A couple of years ago, I had an astrological reading and the person told me I would likely move in March, April, or May of this year. Starting in January, I was so nervous I would have to move unexpectedly because I wasn’t making enough money to move into the sort of place I want to live. More in this week's post.

It’s funny that the title of this post is “It Can Be Gentle” when this week has been anything but. It wasn’t quite a Murphy’s Law week where everything that could go wrong did, but everything that could veer off course before redirecting did. More in this week's post.

Growing up on Disney fairytales and romantic comedies, a part of me has longed for the “happily ever after.” The time of life when everything is set, all your troubles are behind you, and you get to revel in the good. I haven’t surveyed every human, but I’m pretty sure this is a common response. However, like I wrote about last week, happiness is a behavior , not a time or place. And part of that...

A part of me believes that if only I had ____, I’d be happy. Or when ____ happens, then I’ll be happy. It’s one of the most pernicious lies that exists but I take comfort in knowing I’m not the only one who falls for it. There’s a reason we have about a billion books, podcasts, and courses on how to be happy – we humans don’t really know what will make us happy. We think we know but we don’t. Fort...

An emotion I feel frequently is frustration and it’s usually because people and situations aren’t moving as fast as I’d like. I don’t mean literally – I’m not a speed demon – I mean in terms of actions. A frequent complaint I have is, “Why is this taking so long?” More in this week's post, plus a letter to me (and you).

I’m a big fan of plans. I like organization and structure because it helps me to relax and feel safe. This past week though, boy, am I feeling the punchline of that joke, “How do you make God laugh? Tell her your plans.” Nearly all of my plans were scuppered, dashed, and any other word you can think of that means “didn’t work.” More in this week's post.

I love astrology for many reasons but one of them is that it offers me perspective. Starting in 2008, Pluto entered the sign of Capricorn and proceeded to show us the dark underbelly of themes associated with that sign: money and power, primarily. But now it's moving into a new sign. More in this week's post.