Americans Watching The Footy

Yes, the title is spelled correctly! It actually comes from the most Sunday of AFL Sundays maybe ever. Before that, though, Saturday's results largely locked in the top four, while still leaving teams to fight for something in the closing round. Sections 0:00:00 Intro / News, Everyone! 0:03:44 ESS v SYD 0:14:29 GC v MEL 0:20:59 GWS v FRE 0:31:06 COL v BRI 0:40:33 PA v ADE 0:52:37 STK v GEE 1:0...

It's our 200th episode, and we celebrate it with the long-awaited return of Mad Libs! …Well, once Benjamin remembers how to do it. From there, it's a rundown of the ins, outs, and oddities ahead of the penultimate round. Sections 0:00:00 Intro / Mad Libs! 0:11:24 ESS v SYD 0:16:45 GC v MEL 0:22:16 GWS v FRE 0:27:07 COL v BRI 0:32:39 PA v ADE 0:37:35 STK v GEE 0:41:27 WB v NM 0:45:50 HAW v...

Round 22 as a whole still has our heads spinning. It seems the more we try to make sense of this season, the less we or anybody else succeeds. No lead was safe on Friday or Saturday, while Sunday delivered not the same closeness, but a couple incredibly wacky blowouts. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:02:05 SYD v COL 0:11:27 BRI v SYD 0:23:09 NM v WCE 0:31:49 FRE v GEE 0:46:57 ESS v GC 1:02:56 MEL v PA 1:...

Whoa, we got blasted with news this week! We commend those hanging up their boots, before zooming in on the rather cracking weekend slate. 7 will be seething that they ended up with the Sunday match they did, while we'll look to settle in quickly after sundown both nights. Sections 0:00:00 Intro / Retirements 0:13:11 SYD v COL 0:19:21 BRI v GWS 0:26:02 NM v WCE 0:31:08 FRE v GEE 0:39:26 ESS v...

The title was inspired both by Ethan and by a club we don't support! A very home team-very round saw no middle ground between drama and blowouts — and still no finals spots locked up. 0:00:00 Intro 0:02:56 WB v MEL 0:12:08 WCE v GC 0:20:02 NM v RIC 0:28:20 GEE v ADE 0:37:15 COL v CAR 0:47:27 PA v SYD 0:57:59 GWS v HAW 1:06:55 ESS v FRE 1:12:36 STK v BRI 1:21:48 Nominees / Conclusion

Biggest complaint about Round 21 fixtures: the worst direct overlap decision in our time watching the AFL. Biggest positive about R21 fixtures: Sunday! No bottom three, and three games that are all damn cracking on paper. One hasn't been played at the specific venue for 25 years! Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:03:09 WB v MEL 0:09:16 WCE v GC 0:16:40 NM v RIC 0:22:14 GEE v ADE 0:28:43 COL v CAR 0:36:...

"By" is the word, is the word that you heard. It's got a groove, it's got a meaning. Why "by"? Because def. by. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:04:03 CAR v PA 0:13:35 NM v GEE 0:25:32 GC v BRI 0:37:24 STK v ESS 0:46:07 MEL v GWS 0:54:46 FRE v WCE 1:01:39 COL v RIC 1:07:47 SYD v WB 1:17:52 ADE v HAW 1:26:31 Awards / Conclusion

Ethan’s heading to New England, so we’re bringing you a pre-list preview! We can already confirm that QClash 27 will have a peculiar feel to it, but we may be most excited for the round finale. Sections 00:00 Intro 01:54 CAR v PA 08:39 NM v GEE 13:08 GC v BRI 19:28 STK v ESS 25:50 MEL v GWS 33:13 FRE v WCE 39:06 COL v RIC 44:17 SYD v WB 49:56 ADE v HAW 56:30 Main Characters / Conclusion

We only realized just how dumb so much of Round 19 was as we got to recapping it for this episode. …Wait, does that make us the stupid ones? Nah, I think we're still overshadowed by various events over the weekend. Rushing back your captain from a broken arm? Stupid. Missing a clear tunneling call? Stupid? Not giving a flying fuck about concussion protocols? Oh, just wait until you hear Benjam...

With appeals successful, we enter the pointy end of the season recharged! But what the heck is that Sunday schedule? Sections 00:00 Intro / Appeals / Origin 05:49 ESS v ADE 13:50 GWS v GC 19:28 STK v WCE 24:24 HAW v COL 31:13 GEE v WB 36:23 PA v RIC 41:07 BRI v SYD 0:46:49 FRE v MEL 0:50:59 CAR v NM 0:54:54 Main Characters / Conclusion

Michael Christian and the MRO are actively turning Australian football into a joke. It's a damn shame, especially when we had a higher-quality round this past week. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:03:06 COL v GEE 0:11:48 HAW v FRE 0:19:55 SYD v NM 0:26:29 WB v CAR 0:34:10 ADE v STK 0:39:32 MEL v ESS 0:48:20 GC v PA 1:00:49 RIC v GWS 1:08:38 WCE v BRI 1:17:40 Awards / Conclusion

In the AFL, "away games" are… often a misnomer, but don't tell Essendon. Or Collingwood, despite them hosting Friday night. We take a look at all 18 teams named for the week, but we first jump right into the sacking and suspension that each rocked the footy world. Sections 00:00 Intro / News 05:20 COL v GEE 10:00 HAW v FRE 14:49 SYD v NM 19:34 CAR v WB 27:17 ADE v STK 34:05 MEL v ESS...

Benjamin made a bet. Benjamin lost the bet. Benjamin has quite the consequence for losing said bet. …Oh, and eight other games happened too. Sections 0:00:00 Intro / Benjamin’s Bet 0:07:45 COL v ESS 0:16:52 NM v GC 0:24:52 PA v WB 0:31:37 GEE v HAW 0:41:14 GWS v CAR 0:49:42 FRE v RIC 0:54:53 MEL v WCE 1:00:09 STK v SYD 1:09:05 BRI v ADE 1:16:09 Awards / Conclusion

Benjamin is doubling down, completely unprompted, as he risks a 134-mile excursion. Seriously, Ethan didn’t ask him anything this time. This preview was recorded after the lists were released, so enjoy our dive into the ins and outs, and our strategic predictions! Sections 00:00 Intro 02:25 COL v ESS 07:52 NM v GC 12:24 PA v WB 19:26 GEE v HAW 27:30 GWS v CAR 36:08 FRE v RIC 40:08 MEL v WCE 44:21...

OUCH. That title just sounds painful — almost as painful as Benjamin's Sunday viewing experience. Remember, he's an Eagles fan, and he also sat through the Saints and Power before that one. Well, we should probably just look back to earlier in the round instead for actually good football. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:05:02 BRI v MEL 0:16:48 NM v WB 0:24:21 SYD v FRE 0:33:21 GC v COL 0:41:41 AD...

We're back to full rounds, and that means we're back to overlapping games all over the place, for better or worse (we usually think the latter). Of note: a few big returns in order; North and the Dogs finally meeting despite doubling up; a black-and-white Gold Coast invasion; and the Saints playing in yet another Sickos matchup. 0:00:00 Intro 0:04:44 BRI v MEL 0:11:47 NM v WB 0:19:55 SYD v...

We declare this past round to have been Ruck Round! Nearly every game had a starring ruck or a strong ruck matchup. The last of the bye rounds started off quite disappointingly for our older cohost, but we can both take solace in neither of our clubs coming close to the worst loss of the weekend. We, just like Australian broadcasters, can also laugh about vulgarity. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:02:41...

Well, crap… there’s a fair amount of ViC bIaS present in our last Progress Reports. Only one of the six clubs on bye is inside the eight, but at least all six have been central to our storylines this year!

A brisk preview of the last bye round awaits! We recorded this as some news broke on Wednesday night, so you'll hear how we reacted to both the good and the bad in real time. Sections 00:00 Intro 03:01 CAR v GEE 10:33 PA v BRI 19:21 GWS v SYD 26:01 MEL v NM 33:35 ESS v WCE 39:58 FRE v GC 46:52 Main Characters / Conclusion

*sigh* The title says it all. At least it means we finally get a chance to dive into a North game. …Damn, it's hard to get past that, even with other solid entertainment in this round! How about a triple-digit Saints game? Or one man drawing over 93,000 to the G? Nah, we're still mostly thinking about that sub call. Sections 0:00:00 Intro / News 0:06:17 BRI v STK 0:15:58 WB v FRE 0:27:18 R...

We don’t hold back in these progress reports! Ethan and Benjamin do a it of a switch when it comes to their own teams, though the younger host’s cynical side comes out a bit more… Also, dammit, Petracca’s done for the year. That sucks, plain and simple.

We just can't get around to fully hating the team's we're supposed to hate (yet). The Hawks (for Ethan) and Pies (for… everyone) fall into that camp, and they're both among the dozen clubs in action this week. Perhaps the most important game, though, is the finals rematch on Sunday afternoon. Sections 0:00:00 Intro / R13 Loose Ends 0:10:37 BRI v STK 0:17:19 WB v FRE 0:23:30 RIC v H...

Ugh, this was a rough round. Inaccuracy, subpar play, questionable umpiring galore… it kinda ran the gamut of reasons why footy can be tough to watch. But here we are now, ready to talk about tagging, the end of a streak, Barry McKay, and a whole lot more! Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:02:58 ADE v RIC 0:13:01 WB v BRI 0:20:44 HAW v GWS 0:27:54 WCE v NM 0:37:31 STK v GC 0:43:24 SYD v GEE 0:52:10 ESS v C...

Breathe in and enjoy one of our favorite episodes every year, as we show our appreciation for the special uniforms each club used across the Sir Doug Nicholls Round. This year's crop might have been the best yet! Before the rankings, though, we've got two clubs on bye — Benjamin called one "Optimisticmantle," while Ethan confirmed that the other certainly are Port Adelaide.

Can't get us for treason, because we aren't subjects of the Crown! Regardless, the King's Birthday is more about Neale than Charles when it really matters. Big Freeze 10 will come near the end of a round with a fair number of desperation games, as well as the King Kerfuffle and a rip in the McKay Multiverse. Sections 0:00:00 Introduction 0:03:29 ADE v RIC 0:16:41 WB v BRI 0:22:12 HAW v...