Americans Watching The Footy

Ravioli, ravioli… yup, the Suns have a lot of things figured out. Elsewhere, we finally see a statement win we were hoping for, jinxing each other in the process. Our teams didn't provide the points, but at least Benjamin sees a few positives… Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:05:47 CAR v BRI 0:15:05 GC v COL 0:25:46 WB v ADE 0:37:23 GWS v GEE 0:45:24 RIC v ESS 0:55:07 FRE v HAW 1:05:29 MEL v NM 1:15:27 ST...

The reigning premiers are back as we knew them, and that's a highlight of what was largely a round that conformed to expectations. A key tagging call shaped the one game that was considered up for grabs, while we also saw a stack of award-worthy plays. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:04:11 NM v WB 0:14:24 CAR v COL 0:26:47 WCE v GWS 0:38:12 ESS v GC 0:46:57 GEE v RIC 0:57:53 BRI v PA 1:08:57 STK v HAW 1:...

“Man down” — or really “men down” — is a common thread among at least two of the clubs who had byes in Round 16, if not more. Still, three are firmly in the finals picture! …and then there’s the fourth club, who are staring down 8,000 days without a finals win.

Graffiti suggests keeping one coach, while Benjamin demands another’s sacking. Round 16 might’ve actually been “Geezer Round,” with how so many older players shone through… though a valiant Eagles challenge and a flying Viking (who was somehow snubbed for Rising Star) probably did enough to cancel that out. …Oh, and fuck Tom Lynch. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:03:11 PA v CAR 0:14:37 SYD v WB 0:30:08 G...

Sometimes players just look like they're possessed against their former teams. Nobody represents that better than someone who had a bye in Round 15. Also: missing letters show up at last, and a eulogy for a should-be Hall of Famer.

The Orange Team’s xScore defiance seems… supernatural, and Ethan has a theory. Benjamin, meanwhile, just enjoyed his Suns hate-watch and the lack of an Eagles game. Both hosts were also proven right about North! Sections 0:00:00 Intro / Cricket Talk 0:08:01 FRE v ESS 0:16:05 GEE v BRI 0:26:31 CAR v NM 0:38:58 Rugby Talk 0:46:39 PA v SYD 0:55:59 COL v STK 1:05:41 GWS v GC 1:22:30 WB v RIC 1:31:15 A...

It’s the third of our five batches of mid-season check-ins for teams on byes. One of the clubs off for Round 14 are already “fallen cold and dead,” and we can make the case for a second… but all four are among of the year’s bigger newsmakers.

Let me tell you something, brother. The Orange Team have shown us the future, and it's scary for everyone who dares to challenge their forward 50. We needed that excitement and high quality, because Round 14 was starving for it otherwise — especially after a Friday night flop. Sections 0:00:00 Intro / MLC 0:05:01 STK v WB 0:14:02 HAW v ADE 0:26:00 BRI v GWS 0:38:24 ESS v GEE 0:48:28 NM v FRE 0:58:...

Bye time means midseason check-ins, because every team deserves discussion time each week. Both the teams who rested in Round 13 have clear trouble winning when their couple top guys are down. We fold our annual aesthetic rankings into this progress report too.

We largely took in this round together, and on Eastern Time while in Ohio. That meant we got to se each other react to our favorite clubs, for better (Ethan) or worse (Benjamin). Round 13’s action meant we had reason to bring back our Indian food comparisons in full. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:03:14 WB v HAW 0:14:32 ADE v BRI 0:23:06 RIC v SYD 0:27:14 GEE v GC 0:38:10 GWS v PA 0:46:45 NM v WCE 0:56:...

Short round, longer rabble… I think that’s how it goes? It was a weird week where the games we didn’t to expect to deliver did, and vice versa. Stick around for a lengthy breakdown of the Kassel Cup between our respective favorite clubs! Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:03:39 BRI v ESS 0:15:33 COL v HAW 0:25:47 GC v FRE 0:36:43 GWS v RIC 0:48:06 SYD v ADE 0:56:59 MEL v STK 1:06:53 WCE v GEE 1:28:10 Awards

We’re going through the bye rounds, which means we pause to talk about the teams on said byes in these Progress Report episodes. It’s nearly all blue this time, with a smattering of teal.

To call Round 11 front-loaded might be accurate… particularly if you're talking about its opening fixture. Benjamin rode the highs and lows of footy alongside some baseball.

Sir Doug Nicholls Round is one of our favorite parts of every season Ethan and Benjamin are playing catch-up after a busy weekend in San Diego, but both can rejoice in their own teams' victories… though both came at a cost. Sections 0:00:00 Intro / Ethan’s Itinerary 0:07:40 GC v HAW 0:14:20 SYD v CAR 0:21:10 COL v ADE 0:26:39 PA v GEE 0:36:13 GWS v FRE 0:44:15 Aside… 0:47:52 WB v ESS 0:56:58 RIC v...

The round of our footy lives! Seriously, did Leo XIV bless this past weekend? Ethan argues not, since both our teams lost… but the compelling nature of the whole slate (sans one game's final quarter) still has Benjamin curious about divine intervention into Australia's game. Yet, amid all of the gripping action, our main character didn't play in the round at all.

In which Ethan bestows a new nickname, Benjamin laments the state of Western footy, and both engage in discussion on the round's biggest star: the construction worker behind the goal in Ballarat. (The Geelong one from 2022 was better).

In which Benjamin has his least favorite day of footy yet. No, really, Sunday was truly awful for him. We take solace in re-emergences of sorts and the strength of the traditional Anzac games, while lamenting authority in multiple manners. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:02:13 MEL v RIC 0:09:19 COL v ESS 0:18:00 FRE v ADE 0:29:19 STK v BRI 0:38:57 PA v NM 0:49:48 GWS v WB 1:02:35 GC v SYD 1:11:11 CAR v G...

10 PM has taken on a whole new meaning in the footy world… *sigh* But there’s also so much else to talk about from Easter Round! From a Good Friday massacre to the Bont rising (and healing the injured?) on Sunday, to the immense drama of Monday, we rode the rollercoaster like you all did this past week — and Ethan might have felt it more than others. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:05:18 BRI v COL 0:14:1...

Gather Round has come and gone for the third time. It opened with chaotic good Mitch Hinge and the Danger Zone, and it closed with a Port victory marked with pure personal catharsis. In between, we saw plenty of defenders pushing downfield for intercepts and more (Moose goal!), and some real baby-making footy in that Saturday sickos doubleheader. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:02:01 ADE v GEE 0:13:01 CO...

This isn’t our most ballyhooed episode, but we had fun throwing in our favorite sound bite wherever we could. Learn more about Rossball Mk. III, Fox Sports’ new footy montage, and shrimp fried Bice as we go through the last of the early bye rounds. Also, the connection between Sabrina Carpenter and the AFL has only deepened this past week. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:02:31 COL v CAR 0:17:29 GEE v MEL...

It's the nickname we never knew needed… or even existed! Benjamin and Ethan saw their fair mix of comedy and tragedy during Round 3. Both their teams disappointed in different ways, while Carlton fell into an open sewer again, and Adelaide and their FTW trio kept on rolling. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:08:46 ESS v PA 0:16:59 CAR v WB 0:26:23 MEL v GC 0:38:44 STK v RIC 0:45:23 HAW v GWS 0:55:24 BR...

The title is Ethan's answer to a player comp Benjamin was seeking for weeks leading into Round 2. As we start retooling the show a bit, hear our thoughts on state-level rehab assignments, Christian Petracca's analogy with Terrelle Pryor, and the great goal song debate. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:04:09 CAR v HAW 0:13:58 WB v COL 0:21:25 ESS v ADE 0:27:46 PA v RIC 0:33:23 STK v GEE 0:48:04 BRI...

It really feels like footy's back now, but we still have a hard time believing Thursday's monumental Tiger upset — and one of the events therein. Plenty of firsts of the year (equinoxes) to discuss, so let's not waste any time! …Well, maybe not waste as much? Ehh, no promises. Sections 0:00:00 Intro 0:02:12 RIC v CAR 0:17:10 HAW v ESS 0:26:06 GEE v FRE 0:38:40 SYD v BRI 0:50:13 COL v P...

It's Round 1 in Australia, and it's state basketball championship weekend in California. That's great and all, except for Ethan having to miss Geelong's opener. The Dan Houston Cup is on because Collingwood gets preferential scheduling… and for some reason, there's a "Jack-off" Benjamin wants to see. Sections 00:00 Intro 03:48 RIC v CAR 10:02 HAW v ESS 15:58 GEE v FRE 22:10 SYD v BRI 28:58 COL v P...

Was it a mini-Gather Round? If so, NSW got through their hosting with mixed results. The rainy opener was honestly the cleaner game, while the nightcap provided a surprise bludgeoning and an eerie reminder of one untouchable tenet of Australia's game. Sections 00:00 Intro 03:54 SYD v HAW 18:32 GWS v COL 34:38 Awards