Alive and Free

Here's something that will make you challenge everything you believe you know: The real reason why there's so much anxiety, or depression, or pain, or frustration, or stress, or fear, or anger in your life is NOT because something's broken inside you. Or because something's "wrong" with you.  The real reason is because you probably never trained in conflict. So when conflict shows up, you do your...

Labels and diagnoses, from ADHD to codependency and every one in between, usually limits your potential.  For example, I recently discovered that I probably have ADHD. But since I never labeled myself as ADHD or have gotten an official diagnosis that I have ADHD, it's been a super power for me instead of a way to victimize myself.  The problem is, most people don't operate like this. They get labe...

The concept of "healing" might sound appealing, but it's actually a dangerous trick in disguise. Why? Well, it means you have to believe something is wrong with you in the first place, otherwise healing would never interest you.  And when you let healing lure you in like a worm on a fishing rod it can actually create more misery, shame, and suffering.  But it doesn't have to be that way. You don't...

There's an invisible world living beneath your skin. It controls your emotions, mood, cravings, and can even alter your entire personality.  What's this invisible world that can hijack your very experience of life itself? Parasites! Now, I don't say this to creep you out or give you a reason to shift blame onto these nasty single cell organisms, but to offer you hope: Whatever you're dealing with...

A while back, Jasmine and I considered ending our marriage. At the time, I was in a weird depressive funk, which is no place to decide on what to do in a relationship.  Now, I wasn't depressed, but I was stuck. I didn't know what the point of life was. And I lost all motivation. So, I decided to try ketamine therapy.  Well, I discovered a ton of interesting insights throughout my 6 session ketamin...

Do you want to be a victim of your own memory?  The unfortunate truth is, while unwilling to admit it, most people kind of like being a victim of their memory.  Why? Well, it's comfortable and it absolves you of responsibility for things that happened in your life that you didn't like. But it comes with a steep cost: When you're a victim of your own memory, you cannot live every moment of your lif...

In the Buddhist religion, masters would tell their students that if they saw the Buddha, they should kill him. Why? Well, the authorities that you revere are your last obstacle towards achieving true freedom. If you're still letting them influence you, you're not using your own eyes and ears, which can lead you down a path of judgment and suffering.  By "killing the Buddha," you become the author...

We have several tour guides throughout our lives. Our parents, our teachers, our mentors, and our friends. When used correctly, these tour guides steer you down creating your own path, and becoming an experitus.  But the problem many people face is that they lose their own experiences in the process of bouncing from tour guide to tour guide.  The result?  Your tour guides become stumbling blocks,...

"What entertains you, trains you." It's a pithy quote I've repeated often on this show, but there's also hardcore scientific evidence that proves this phenomenon is true. For example, in science, there's what's known as the placebo effect, and the nocebo effect. Both of these phenomenons prove that your thoughts can alter your reality—both in positive and negative ways.  Here's what that means for...

There are a lot of similarities between pain (even chronic pain) and emotions. But the most important similarity is this: Your pain and emotions are an opinion!  This fact is backed by the leading neuroscientist on pain research. And it's great news. Why?  Because opinions can be challenged! And by challenging your opinions, you can stop decades-long depression and chronic pain in its tracks.  In...

There are a lot of similarities between pain (even chronic pain) and emotions. But the most important similarity is this: Your pain and emotions are an opinion!  This fact is backed by the leading neuroscientist on pain research. And it's great news. Why?  Because opinions can be challenged! And by challenging your opinions, you can stop decades-long depression and chronic pain in its tracks.  In...

We're suckers for authority. We see someone in a white lab coat, and immediately think they know all the answers. But reality doesn't typically play out how they say: Take Amber for example, a featured guest on this episode. She battled chronic pain for years, got prescribed pain pills, and shortly became addicted to them. When she realized she was done taking pain pills, she quit cold turkey. And...

Society has been brainwashed into believing a lie. This falsehood has caused more addiction, pain, and suffering than perhaps any other lie in history. But the good news is: It's a lie. So, what's the lie? The disease theory of addiction. Now, this theory has helped many people overcome their addiction, but they still aren't freed of it because one of the tenets of this theory is that you can't ge...

Scientists discovered that a tiny fraction of the weight of a dime creates enough pressure on your cells to force them to divide. What does that mean for healing yourself from decades of suffering and trauma? Well, it only takes a little nudge of pressure, applied in correct places, to free you from your decades-long misery. Yes, it can be that simple. In fact, when I speak of "Stick Work" that I...

About 14 years ago, a plane crashed into a volcano it didn't see because the coordinates had been two degrees off on the instrument panel. This story reminds me of the current state of therapy: Therapy's success rates are shockingly low. In fact, even shock therapy gives you better odds. Now, it's not because therapists are bad people, most of them have the best intentions, but they're just two de...

Imagine your body is an airplane, and you have no idea how to control it, let alone fly it.  Well, that's how most of us live our lives. It's no wonder we drown in addictions, traumas, and misery.  But what if someone gave you the manual for that airplane and proved that it's easy to operate? Well, that's what you'll get out of this episode.  In this episode, you'll discover why living free and ha...

When you invite freedom into your life, it creates a domino effect that seeps into every aspect of your life—for the better. Take Lee for example: By inviting freedom into his life after attending a retreat, he finally put his body at ease. Then, his mind became at ease, and he didn't have as many dark and depressing thoughts. Next, he lost 30 pounds, then 60 pounds, then 100 pounds. Before freedo...

Have you seen the Netflix documentary, My Octopus Teacher? Lee and I recently watched it—and it blew us away.  Why? Because it puts this thing we call life into perspective. It shows you how to overcome trauma and pain without letting it consume you—and without forgetting the lessons that can help you avoid traumatic situations today.  In this episode, you'll discover how acting like an octopus ma...

Every relationship is hard, whether with your spouse, kids, or friends. But we have a tendency to make our relationships harder than they actually are too.  When emotions infiltrate your relationships, especially in heated conversations and arguments, it leads to compromises, hardships, and even resentment.  The solution?  Slowing things down to an Eeyore trot. For example, when you have an argume...

Most people lead their lives with their mind, not their heart. This causes unnecessary stress, worry, and anxiety.  Why?  Because your heart sends signals to your mind, and your mind makes up negative stories about whatever your heart's sending you. And most people don't realize they can lead their lives with their heart instead of their mind. But by leading your life with your heart first, you ca...

Every time an event happens in our life—good, bad, or in between—our brain creates a story out of it. And since your brain is cunning and sly, it connects these made-up stories to other made-up stories in your mind.  While this isn't necessarily a good or bad thing, most people believe these stories they tell themselves are reality itself.  The result? Your mind creates trauma, suffering, and mise...

All of your problems—whether they're massive or tiny—are the result of vagueness in some way, shape, or form. And boy, is that a powerful realization.  Why? Because by getting real with yourself and removing the vagueness from the stories you tell yourself, you can free yourself from your depression, your trauma, your addictions, and anything else that's sabotaging your quality of life.  Best part...

Many listeners, Freedom Specialist clients, and even other Freedom Specialist coaches wonder how I parent. And admittedly, I have some weird and counterintuitive parenting strategies that might make other parents scoff, but work well for my kids and my family.  For example, I don't congratulate my kids when they create an awesome drawing. Why? Because it trains them to seek validation from outside...

Everyone has secrets. Most of them for a good reason. But, it' is not the same with addictions. Keeping secrets may be exactly what holds you back on your way to recovery. It's difficult to open up about your weaknesses, regardless of how close you may be with the other person. Especially if you were raised in a strict environment, that answered your mistakes with punishment. The truth is, there i...

I had an experience the other day when my buddies and I went out for dinner. We saw an attractive woman, and I used it as an opportunity to understand what was going on inside my body as a result of seeing her.  Most people would call the sensation I felt lust. I would too, until I started paying attention to what was actually happening. After paying attention, I realized it was not lust I was exp...