Alive and Free

In the Bible, Jesus forgives an adulterous woman long before she forgives herself. In fact, he reveals to her that the only one condemning her is herself.  Here's why this matters even if you're not religious: Only you are punishing yourself for your sins, mistakes, and past traumas. This creates hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and even addiction. But once you figure out how to stop criticizing...

Most people think that addictions come from the substances themselves. Not only is this false, but it sabotages your ability to kick your addictions.  The truth is: All addictions come from you. In fact, there are 3 components powerful enough to make anything addictive. If it contains these 3 things, it could become your next compulsive behavior. Why?  Because these components give you a more inte...

Addiction doesn't say more about you as a person than a runny nose. But we often stop looking at ourselves as humans and start seeing ourselves as "addicts". Not only does this keep us enslaved to our compulsions, but it fills us with guilt and shame.  The antidote to addiction isn't creating more suffering. It's learning the skill of freedom like a toddler learns how to ride a bike.  Want to free...

In life, we focus on removing the bad behaviors, habits, and actions to become happier. But we never take the time to reflect on good things that are slowly sabotaging our joy.  Take your phone and money for example. Both of these tools can help you live an easier and happier life. But they can also latch onto you like a parasite and slowly destroy your well-being.  They're what I call phoney frie...

Too often in life we have a "poker face." We hide our true emotions and pretend to be unfazed by painful feelings. We do this in our relationships, with our spirituality, in our careers, and on social media.  All this bluffing and hiding your authentic self tricks the people around you. Not only does it harm them, but it harms you. Whenever you lie, you force your brain to justify it — which drown...

There are several times throughout our lives when we're chained to the couch and our motivation is depleted. That's when we turn to Tony Robbins and other motivational videos to kick us into gear.  But this is another subtle form of procrastination. Truth is, you don't need motivation in order to act.  In fact, there are 2 universal motivation killers that always rear their ugly heads when you're...

12-step programs and other well-meaning groups have done a lot of good in the world. But they've also ruined people's sense of freedom and joy.  These programs try to help members escape addictions, but accidentally traumatize people into thinking they're the only way to treat addiction, depression, and anxiety.  The truth is there isn't only one way to overcome addiction, self-loathing, anxiety,...

Too often in relationships, we put up boundaries and "keep out signs." This is especially true in marriages.  We think we're protecting the other person but we're actually slowly poisoning the marriage and ourselves.  Why?  Because you can't become one with the other person when boundaries are involved. It's not easy to become one with your spouse, but nothing will give you a more profound healing...

Most people say they want a beautiful transformation in their life that frees them from all their unhappy thoughts, compulsive behaviors, and addictions. But they don't realize what they're asking for — it means you must sacrifice all the good in your life too.  You can't do this with a magic pill, hypnotist, or 6-week program. The only way to do this is by "becoming freedom." And you can only bec...

Have you ever stressed about something that wasn't nearly as bad as your mind made it out to be? That's because you unconsciously manipulate your emotions to motivate yourself to take action. We've all done this since childhood — but that doesn't mean it's right. When you manipulate yourself, it's impossible to be happy when you're poisoning yourself with nasty emotions and horror stories about yo...

When you face obstacles and challenges, it's easy to suppress your feelings and seek outside validation and comfort instead. Since you were a kid, you've been taught that you can find comfort in your suffering because of the coddle culture you live in.  But seeking comfort for your problems doesn't solve them, it makes them worse. Growing up in a coddle culture actually makes it impossible to face...

When you put someone up on a pedestal, you throw yourself down in a pit. And when you look at others as beneath you, you discount their opinions and beliefs.  Either type of comparison creates unnecessary suffering. Instead, if you just looked, you'd find that life is more beautiful when you appreciate the people around you.  In this episode, I'm revealing the dangers of comparison and how to stop...

The Bible has been through billions of different interpretations. That means there's no reliable way to truly understand what the originator meant.  There's a problem with following sacred books like the Bible: We create our own gospels based on our perceptions and then browbeat other people into believing it. This cripples our relationships, self-esteem, and general sense of wellbeing.  If your i...

Many of us think that we need to be passionate about something to live a fulfilling life. But that's not true.  In fact, you seek passion in the first place because you've taught yourself to suffer. By thinking there's something to fix about you, you look for passion and purpose as antidotes to the misery you've manufactured.  But when you eliminate your suffering, you don't need a purpose or pass...

There's some divine intelligence inside you that's responsible for all of your growing and living.  Here's what that means for you:  You don't need to "fix" your problems. You don't need to battle your addictive behaviors and tendencies every day. All you have to do is get out of your own way and let these problems resolve themselves.  It sounds counterintuitive, but it's more effective than any o...

Throughout your life, you've been brainwashed into using other peoples' eyes and ears to live your life. And it's usually from people with the best intentions.  Even revered historical figures like the stoic philosophers subconsciously programmed you. But when you let other authorities guide your life, you trade in your eyes and ears for theirs.  When you don't follow your own eyes and ears, you'r...

We don't really know who we are. So we create imaginary stories in our head so we can understand ourselves better. But these stories are at the root of all your suffering. The second you identify with a hobby, skill, religion, shortcoming, or belief, you invite unnecessary problems into your life.  What if nothing is wrong with you? And nothing has ever been wrong with you?  In this episode, I'm r...

Addiction is no more of a spiritual problem than picking your nose.  In fact, it wasn't until the early 1900s that addiction was even considered a spiritual problem.  Here's why this matters for you:  Having addictive tendencies or compulsive behaviors doesn't mean you're spiritually bankrupt. Instead, it means that your body and mind are working properly — but your limiting beliefs about addictio...

When you examine addiction up close and personal you realize something:  You're addicted to your memories of your first experiences of your addiction — not to the thing itself. This is why it's never been proven that addictive substances or behaviors exist.  In other words, your nostalgia seeps into your brain and convinces you to give into your addictions (even if they leave you unsatisfied after...

Most of us put life on "extreme difficulty" mode. We make life excruciatingly hard by creating problems out of thin air then beating ourselves up after we can't solve them.  But you don't have to live life this way. If you stop creating problems, most of your suffering disappears almost instantly.  It sounds wacky, but it works better than any other program I've tried.  In this episode, I'm sharin...

Fear of failure haunts many of us. When we're afraid to fail, we make more mistakes, drain our happiness, and fill ourselves with self-doubt. But what if failure wasn't real?  The fortunate truth is: you create failure inside your own head — it doesn't exist outside of your head.  In this episode, I'm revealing why failure doesn't exist so you can finally experience true joy and tremendous success...

You get in your own way more than you think. This is especially true when you want something — like more money, a better relationship with your spouse, or to ditch your mental health problems.  Here's the trouble:  The more you want something, the harder it is to get it. It goes against what every motivational speaker will tell you, but it's true.  Instead of wanting something, you need to become...

There's a lot of misinterpretation about the Garden of Eden story in the bible. And unfortunately, we can trace back nearly all of human suffering to one big lie that Satan told Eve in that story.  That lie is this: that you are not good enough. That God created everything in the world perfectly, but somehow screwed up with you. Nothing can be further from the truth.  In this episode, I'm revealin...

Context is everything — and this is particularly true with your unique mental health characteristics. The problem is mental health "experts" prescribe one solution for every person. And this blinds you from seeing your mental quirks as a gift.  When you look at it from a different angle, these mental "kinks" can be a blessing-in-disguise.  In this episode, I'm sharing how to reframe your mental he...

Authority attacks you from all angles — religion, science, your parents, and even society. But you become powerless when you believe something has authority over you.  For example, I did energy work on someone struggling with trauma at a recent retreat. After I healed him, someone who believed he had a demon exorcism asked me what authority I had to heal him since it wasn't in Jesus's name.  He di...