After the Affair

In this first part of a two-episode series, I begin outlining the 8 steps I took to heal from betrayal and then dive deeper in to the first four crucial steps to recovery. With personal insights and practical advice, I aim to guide you through the process of gaining Clarity, establishing Belief, embracing Forgiveness, and fostering Growth. This episode is an essential listen for anyone navigating...

In this week's episode of "After the Affair," with infidelity recovery expert, Luke Shillings. He dives deep into the heart of relational conflicts, exploring the profound impact of empathy and understanding. With his signature warmth and relatability, Luke shares insights into how our unique life stories shape our perspectives, often leading to misunderstandings in our closest relationships. Draw...

In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with the renowned Breakup Coach, Dorothy AB Johnson, to tackle one of the most challenging journeys one can face: getting over an ex after infidelity. Dorothy, with her compassionate approach and expertise, shares invaluable insights and practical strategies for healing and moving forward. We delve into the complexities of betrayal, understanding the identity...

In this insightful episode of "After the Affair," Join me Luke Shillings as I delve into the complex interplay between forgiveness and reconciliation in the aftermath of infidelity. Drawing from my personal journey and professional expertise as a relationship coach specialising in infidelity recovery, I explore whether forgiveness is an essential component for true reconciliation or if it's possib...

In this thought-provoking episode of 'After the Affair,' host Luke Shillings delves into the surprising parallels between Isaac Newton's Third Law of Motion and conflict dynamics in relationships. Entitled 'The 3rd Law of Conflict: Can Isaac Newton Help us Heal?', this episode explores the concept that every action in a relationship, especially during conflicts, tends to invoke an equal and opposi...

Slide under the covers with me in this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair', where I get intimate with the intricacies of reigniting the spark after infidelity. I, Luke Shillings, team up with the ever-insightful sex guru, Lee-ann Cordingley, to untangle the sometimes knotty, always vital subject of rediscovering sexual chemistry following a betrayal. It's not just about getting back in the s...

Join me, Luke Shillings in this eye-opening episode of the After the Affair podcast. Dive deep into the complexities of how betrayal in relationships clashes with our inherent human reward system. This episode explores the psychological underpinnings of trust and the profound impact of its breach, drawing connections to our natural drive for rewards and aversion to discomfort. Discover why betraya...

In "Facing Failure after Infidelity: Shifting the Narrative," Join me Luke Shillings as I explore the transformative journey of redefining failure in relationships post-infidelity. This episode delves into the emotional stages of recovery, the power of effective communication, and turning painful experiences into opportunities for growth. I invite you to reframe your perspective on setbacks, embra...

Welcome to a Special Year-End Episode of 'After the Affair' Podcast Join me, Luke Shillings, as I embark on a reflective journey through 2023, revisiting key themes and episodes that have guided us in understanding infidelity, healing from betrayal, and building resilience. This episode not only serves as a powerful summary of the year but also offers encouragement and hope as we step into 2024. I...

"Choice or Obligation: Should I Stay or Leave After the Affair?" explores the heart-wrenching decision-making process in the aftermath of infidelity. Hosted by relationship coach Luke Shillings, this episode delves deep into the emotional turmoil faced by both betrayed and unfaithful partners. Are you feeling like every part of you is saying you should leave, yet you feel obligated to stay? You ar...

We begin by exploring the importance of recognizing what's within our control and what isn't. This crucial step sets the foundation for healing, helping us to focus our energy where it can truly make a difference. Join me, Luke Shillings, as I delve into the transformative journey of healing from infidelity and the ways in which my healing helped me in other areas. Drawing from my personal experie...

Join me Luke Shillings in this thought-provoking episode of 'After the Affair', titled "What If It Was Me? Self-Reflection in the Wake of Betrayal." This episode delves deep into the introspective journey of understanding your own role in relationship dynamics, especially in the context of infidelity and betrayal. In this episode, we explore the challenging yet essential process of self-reflection...

In this enlightening episode of "After the Affair," Join me Luke Shillings as I talk about 'Thought Addiction', something that many individuals face post-betrayal. Discover how repetitive, negative thought patterns can take hold and how you can break free from this mental trap to find healing and empowerment. Join me as I explore the thinking behind why betrayed partners might experience obsessive...

"Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?" Join me Luke Shillings as I challenge this oversimplified notion, bringing a nuanced perspective to the complex issue of infidelity and personal transformation. We begin by examining the human tendency to overgeneralise based on singular events to illustrate how our perceptions of likelihood and recurrence are often skewed. This sets the stage for an in-depth ex...

Join me in this enlightening episode of "After the Affair, where I delve into the often-overlooked phenomenon of self-gaslighting following infidelity. Hosted by myself, relationship & infidelity recovery coach Luke Shillings, this episode explores the subtle yet profound ways individuals unknowingly gaslight themselves after experiencing betrayal in a relationship. Discover the insidious natu...

Explore the complex journey of rebuilding trust after the pain of infidelity in this insightful episode of 'After the Affair'. Join Luke Shillings, a dedicated relationship coach and podcast host, as he delves into one of the most challenging questions faced by those who have experienced betrayal: Can trust truly be restored? In "Trust After Betrayal: Is There Hope?", Join me as I provide not only...

In this episode of 'After the Affair,' Join me Luke Shillings as I delve into the profound connection between attachment styles and infidelity. Discover how being Anxiously Attached, Avoidantly Attached, or Fearful-Avoidant can influence the likelihood and aftermath of cheating in a relationship. Whether you're healing from betrayal or looking to safeguard your partnership, this episode offers inv...

Welcome to the 'After the Affair' podcast trailer, your essential introduction to the gripping world of infidelity recovery and relationship rebuilding. Hosted by Luke Shillings, a certified relationship coach specialising in infidelity recovery, this podcast is your haven for navigating the turbulent waters of betrayal. Whether you're struggling with the aftermath of an affair or searching for a...

In this episode of "After the Affair," Join me Luke Shillings as I sit down with guest Yasmin Majid as she shares her powerful story of love, resilience, and personal growth. Yasmin discusses her experience navigating a multicultural upbringing, her marriage of 23 years, and the unexpected revelations that led to its end. She opens up about the lessons she learned from her divorce, her journey of...

In this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair,' I explore the challenging middle ground of the healing journey - affectionately coined as "Humping After the Affair." Don't let the cheeky title fool you; we're delving deep into that frustrating plateau where you feel stuck between the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future. You've made some progress, but why does it seem like you're...

In this episode of 'After the Affair,' I take a look at the societal pressures that shape how we cope, react, and even move forward. While the emotional toll of betrayal is a weighty topic by itself, the expectations from friends, family, and even complete strangers can add an invisible weight that often goes unspoken. I explore the history of societal norms surrounding betrayal, how media influen...

In this episode of "After the Affair," host Luke Shillings interviews Charlotte Tweed, a family divorce solicitor, about her personal experience with divorce and infidelity. Charlotte shares her own story of growing up as a third-party observer of her parents' relationship breakdown and how it influenced her career choice. She also provides valuable insights and professional advice for individuals...

In this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair,' join me Luke Shillings, as I identify the key elements of a Doomed Relationship ... What to look out for and what to do about it, plus the aching question, When is it time to walk away? I kick off by identifying the red flags that could signal a doomed relationship—warning signs that you can't afford to ignore.  But understanding the symptoms is j...

Are you carrying the heavy burden of guilt after discovering your partner's affair, wondering why you didn't act sooner on those red flags?  In this eye-opening episode, I look into the emotional turmoil known as 'Inaction Guilt,' dispelling the myth that you're to blame for their betrayal. Learn how to navigate these complicated feelings and why it's crucial to free yourself from the guilt trap f...

Joining us today is my guest, Ben Pugh, who during the course of conversations shares his background and insights on how parents can better support their children during their teenage years, amidst the changes caused by infidelity. We discuss how modifying our own behaviours can create a positive experience for ourselves and in turn, influence our children's behaviour. In our conversation, we'll d...