Adoptees Crossing Lines

Navigating Change: A Conversation with Josh Lamers, Co-founder of Collective of Child Welfare Survivors Episode Summary:  Adoption is trauma. How do we help surviving children heal the wounds they’ve sustained from the child welfare system? Josh Lamers, a transracial adoptee, is public enemy #1 for child welfare agencies in Canada. He joins the show to discuss what adoption and child welfare...

Adoptees & Community  Episode Summary: Most adoption communities center adoptive parents and foster parents. We are left out of the picture. This doesn’t make sense. This episode is a collection of my thoughts on this matter. “One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance; places where we know we are not alone.” - Bell Hooks In this episode, we c...

Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System Episode Summary: It was when Alan arrived at a home with the cops to remove a child and heard his mother say “Charles, run, they're coming to take you and they're going to sell you to the white people” that he realized how the trauma of slavery cannot be disentangled from the trauma of family separation. It was in this moment that...

Unveiling Roots: The Journey of Gregory D. Luce, Attorney and Advocate for Adoptee Rights Episode Summary: Us adoptees have to pay thousands of dollars and jump through hoops to unseal our records. This robs us of autonomy, dignity, and equality.  Gregory D. Luce is an attorney who helps adoptees all across the US go through this hurdle. In this episode we discuss Greg’s personal adoption jou...

Torn Apart: How the Child Welfare System Destroys Black Families--and How Abolition Can Build a Safer World Episode Summary:   More than anyone else, black women get their children kidnapped by the state, by the child “welfare system”. This episode is about the whys and hows of abolishing a system built to strip families away from their children. Through discussing Torn Apart by Dr. Dorothy R...

Embracing Identity: John's Journey of Self-Discovery Episode Summary: Reuniting with his birth family showed John McCormick, a transracial adoptee, a new world. He physically felt a relaxation he had never felt before, he connected with music and art like never before, and he started to own who he is - confidently - even when others denied his identity. This is the story of how John’s reunion with...

Emily's Journey: Identity, Language Learning, and Adoption Realities Episode Summary:  After 9 months of living with monks, Emily Harris was adopted from China. She was left behind by her bio family due to the One Child Policy. To process her loss of identity, she has started to learn Chinese with a community of adoptees.   In this episode, she talks about how language learning helps, wh...

Adoption Trauma, Mental Health, and Suicide Risk with Lina Vanegas Episode Summary: Though Lina Vanegas was born to a Colombian family, she was forced to assimilate as a white jewish person. 38 years later, she’s unable to fully connect with her bio family nor speak their language. Forced assimilation is trauma. Her mission is to educate people on adoption trauma. In the episode, she gives a crash...

Navigating No Contact: Adoptees' Journeys to Healing Episode Summary: Should you cut off your adoptive parents? Should you “go no contact” with your adoptive parents? “Oh hell no. Not this time. I’m done.” That’s what we felt before cutting off contact with your adoptive parents. Sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do is to go no contact with our adoptive parents. Escaping abuse. Escaping racis...

Navigating Holidays as an Adoptee: Exploring Complex Emotions & Self Care Episode Summary:  For adoptees, holidays mean performance. Acting like you care, acting like you’re happy, acting like you’re grateful. And if you don’t perform, then you live in guilt. It’s ironic, because adoption itself is an act. Join us as we explore this and discuss what holidays are like for us adoptees.&nbsp...

Challenging Adoption Norms and Embracing Queer Parenting: A Conversation with Yomi Episode Summary: Selling children is human trafficking, so why isn’t adoption considered human trafficking? It’s state-sanctioned trafficking with a paper trail. Ayomide Bee shares her adoption story as a queer transracial adoptee. Their take is not only that gay couples shouldn’t adopt - but that adoption should be...

Activism & Origin Story: Erica Babino Episode Summary: What’s it like to be an activist for adoptees? What’s the story of someone who is an adoptees activist? How would you feel if you discovered that your bio mom lives on your street, after you’ve been searching for her for 25 years? This week, we speak to Erica Babino a Black same race adoptee who is a former American Adoption Congress Board...

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Dr. Noelle's Origin Story: A Journey of Adoption, Identity, and Reunion Episode Summary:   Two white people raised me, a Black child. I’m Dr. Noelle and this is the secret filled story of my adoption. In this episode, we cover: (00:00) Cosplaying as adoptees? (01:35) The stories I was told (05:30) My abusive adoptive mother  (06:15) Taking a DNA test to find my family (09:42) They didn’t...

Navigating Adoption and Rediscovering Family: Lia's Journey Episode Summary: I’m Lia and this is my adoptee origin story from foster care to reuniting with my siblings.  In this episode, we cover: (01:02) What I was told about my bio parents (02:18) What actually happened  (04:59) My adoptive parents  (05:34) My birth father’s side of the story (06:36) My access to adoption informat...

Exploring the Impact of Adoption on Mental Health: Insights from Adoptees Content Warning: Suicide, Suicidal ideation, Involuntary hospitalization Episode Summary:   Adoptees are 4x more likely to attempt suicide, in this episode we unpack why that is. Being an adoptee is a lifelong sentence, we have to cosplay as someone else’s child, we belong almost nowhere - and on top of all that, we inv...

Navigating Parenthood as Adoptees: Insights from Dr. Noelle and Tosha Episode Summary: What’s it like when you’re adopted and then become a parent? We discuss the unexpected joys and reliefs of parenting, the mistakes we were almost programmed to make, how parenting can heal us, how to tell your children you’re adopted, and being careful about not placing a burden on our children that they aren’t...

Identity & Adoption Episode Summary: In this episode, we dive into the complex topic of identity and how it intersects with adoption. We discuss how adoption severs connections to identity, the disconnection adoptees feel, the complications of biological family searches, and the struggle to reconcile our identities with the information we discover. This episode covers: (00:49) How adoptees def...

Exploring Blackness and Adoption: Navigating Identity and Challenges Episode Summary: In this episode, we discuss the unique and often challenging experience of being a Black adoptee. We explore the intersection of Blackness and adoption, the harmful impact of transracial adoption, how the adoption industry profits from Black children, and the ways in which Black adoptees navigate identity, cultur...

Navigating Relationships as an Adoptee Episode Summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Noelle, Lia, and Tosha explore the complexities of navigating relationships as adoptees. From dating to friendships and family dynamics, they discuss how adoption trauma, abandonment issues, and people-pleasing tendencies impact their ability to connect with others. The conversation delves into why...

Saviorism, Narcissism, and the Adoption Industry Episode Summary:  In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Noelle, Lia, and Tosha discuss adoption as it relates to saviorism and narcissism, particularly in the context of adoptive parents. They explore how saviorism centers the adoptive parents while disregarding the child's needs and how adoption as an industry upholds harmful power dynam...

Why We’re Not Grateful Episode Summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines , Noelle, Lia, and Tosha dive into the complicated and often misunderstood topic of gratitude within the adoption experience. They discuss why the expectation of gratefulness placed upon adoptees is harmful and how it serves to silence their pain and experiences. The conversation explores the disconnect between the...

Adoption & Reunion: Finding Family, Healing Wounds Episode Summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Lia, Noelle, and Tosha discuss the complexities of reunion and how reconnecting with biological family members can bring both healing and heartbreak. They share personal stories of searching for family, facing rejection, embracing acceptance, and navigating the emotional toll of reun...

Adoption & Grief: Navigating Loss and Identity Episode Summary :  In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Lia, Noelle, and Tosha explore the complex intersection of adoption and grief, diving into how adoptees often experience deep emotional losses that are rarely acknowledged. They discuss topics such as the erasure of identity through name changes, longing for connection, the impact...

Coming Out of the Fog: The Truth About Adoption Episode Summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Lia, Noelle, and Tosha share their experiences as adoptees and dive deep into topics often ignored or misrepresented in mainstream conversations about adoption. Together, they discuss coming out of the fog, dispelling harmful myths, and the complicated journey of finding healing and communi...