Addict's Messy Marriage

I recently read an article that has a great definition of humility. Listen as I work through this in my life.  Article mentioned in podcast: https://12stepphilosophy.org/2018/01/29/humility-defense-mechanisms-and-the-false-self/

Walk with me as I explore the desire for control and look at the things I can control versus the things I cannot control. We just finished the holidays and I know families are on a lot of peoples minds. Recognizing we cannot control who our families are, what they do and how they think. We can only control our selves and our response to others actions. I know for me these lessons on control will b...

Most books and counseling focus on improving marriages by working together on fixing issues but the issue with this is that both the addict and the spouse bring a lot of junk from their past into the marriage. This sometimes prevents marriages from improving. So, walk with me as I talk about improving myself to improve my marriage. To listen to my interview on Castimonia podcast please click below...

Have you ever considered your values? Do your values match where you spend your time? Listen as I walk through my values and the discrepancy with where I spend my time.

Pride is something I had to deal with in recovery to establish any sort of sobriety. But, Pride I have realized is something that does not go away easily and still finds it way into my marriage and my relationship with my kids. Listen as I explore pride in my marriage and my family.

There are so many benefits from having connections and being part of a community. Yet, for myself and most addicts, true healthy connections are some of the hardest to come by. Listen as I look into the difficulties of making connections and the need for community in my life.

Have you ever gotten to the end of an argument and you forgot what you were originally arguing about. For me, this is what happens when I get emotionally triggered and shut down. Walk with me as I explore a recent "discussion" with my wife and what I learned from the experience. 

Rigorous honesty is a term I have heard since day one of recovery but it continuous to grow and I continue to see the need for it in other areas of my life, especially in marriage. Walk with me as I explore rigorous honesty in my marriage and see how it can benefit the long term success of my marriage.

We are told a lot of things about emotions. Don't follow your emotions because they lie to you or if you stuff your emotions you will explode. All of these points have truth but what if under lying everything our emotions are trying to tell us something about what we believe. Listen as I explore this in my own life.

İt is interesting how fast resentments can turn me into a horrible irritable person. Listen as I walk through a series of resentments and how they affected me and my family. 

Everyone knows about verbal, physical and sexual childhood abuse but a sometimes forgotten childhood trauma is emotional abuse. Listen as I walk through how emotional trauma in both mine and my wife's life has affected our marriage and lives. 

One of my bottom line reasons for being an addict was to escape pain, uncomfortable feelings and awkward moments. When I stopped acting out it did not take my desire to escape away. It only caused me to escape in different ways. Walk with me as I explore escaping and the effect it has had on me and my family.  

As a recovering addict İ have difficulty keeping promises from making promises I cannot keep to not keeping promises I should. Walk with me through a recent argument I had with my wife where I did not keep a promise.

There are times in my life that I just go through the motions: working, taking care of kids, escaping into app games, watching TV shows, that I lose track of making my marriage a priority. When this happens in my life, I have to be mindful of making the time to connect with my wife. Listen as I walk through the struggle to put down the electronic devices and engage with my wife.

Everyone knows moving is stressful but character flaws and addict tendency can make the process even more stressful. Listen as I walk through the process of a recent move my family made.

As an addict I was always selfish but never in ways that actually benefited me. Now being in recovery I have had to learn how to take care of my health. Some ways I have improved but I still have a long way to go. Listen to hear my journey towards being a healthier person.

As a recovering addict it is difficult to make decisions in a health way. Listen to follow along as I process a recent big decision that my wife and I made.